By Chance
by castiel52
Summary: AU. Inspired by the song By Chance You and I  by JR Aquino.  Castiel being hard to get for Dean. Slash! Some fluff, a very small hint of Sabriel. VERY, VERY LITTLE of Michael and Castiel... Okay, maybe not so little after all. Still, DESTIEL! Hellooo!
1. For the First Time

_Author's Note..._

_Hey ya'll! This is my first time in doing a destiel slash. My first destiel was a one shot and gender bended (I turned Cas to a girl). Hope you guys will like this. It may take a little while to finish though. Hihi. Ideas just keep on coming and all. But I do have a good ending waiting in time. But, for now, enjoy. Reviews are very much appreciated. Enjoy fellas!_

* * *

><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

**_For the First Time..._**

Dean Winchester was never the man who took an interest towards the same gender. He was a lady's man. Can easily get any girl he wants. The man whose eyes are always caught by hot women—until a certain blue eyed man with a messy dark chocolate brown hair in a trench coat came along.

He wasn't sure what was in that man that he can't help but stare. There's something about his eyes, his nose and his unruly hair that just captivates him. Something about the way the cream trench coat wraps around him like an armour. There's something about the way he walks that makes him seem confident and superior.

Dean wasn't really sure how long he's been staring at the man until his brother snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"Dean! What's going on? Your head seemed to be in the clouds." His brother—Sam—said with a snort that is accompanied by a smirk. Sam crossed his arms across his chest and raised his brows as he looked at his brother.

"Nothing." Dean responded; voice lower than usual. Sam's brows furrowed and tried to read Dean. Dean's attention was back on the man with blue eyes. Sam tilted his head a little and slowly turned to see where his brother's eyes were looking at.

"You checkin' the man with blue eyes?" Sam asked after he realized where his brother's gaze was.

Dean snorted at the statement and chuckled. "Now why would I be checkin' the man with blue eyes? I don't swing that way Sammy."

"C'mon." Sam started with a smirk as he turned back to his brother. "Pure _interest_ and _lust_ is written all over your face. And don't you dare tell me that you're checkin' the girl on the other table with her boyfriend. _That_, is not the way you swing Dean." Triumph written all over his face. He gave good reasoning though. There was no other 'pretty girl' in that direction besides that one who seemed to have a partner. And the men with blue eyes stand out the most. He was like the only white rose in a bouquet of dark red roses. He was beautiful.

Dean rolled his eyes and tried to think of something, anything that would take Sam's words back. Just when he was about to respond, Sam started talking once more. "Just, go and talk to him."

"Sam." Dean said with gritted teeth and a grunt as Sam pushed him to the direction of the guy. Dean stopped in the middle and looked back at Sam to glare. Sam simply shooed his brother away with his hand. Dean fixed his leather jacket harshly and looked at the man again. His expression softened upon laying his eyes on the blue eyed man. He slowly walked towards him, starting to feel a little nervous. _Why __am __I __feeling nervous__?_ He asked himself, but no one answered. Before he knew it, he pulled a chair in front of the man. The man looked up to see Dean, confusion evident on his face with a slow head tilt. Dean smiled nervously at the man and sat down.

"Dean." He said, stretching his hand across the table. The blue eyed man stared at him with confusion for a little more while before he gave the out stretched hand a shake.

"Castiel." He replied with a rough, slightly low voice and released Dean's hand. His eyes are still questioning as he looked at Dean in the eye, head still tilted slightly. Dean felt the butterflies in his stomach go wild as he stared at this man in the eye. His heart rate beat four times faster than it should. He bit his lower lip but kept his attention to Castiel's blue eyes. Castiel's brows furrowed at Dean's action. He can see Dean's hesitance.

"Um..." Dean started, "what are you doing alone in the bar?" _Stupid __question __Winchester_. He thought.

"I'm waiting for _someone_." He replied. Aw. For a reason unknown to Dean, that hurt. After hearing that, he finally tore his gaze away from Castiel and focused on the table instead. "Oh. Girlfriend?" he asked, slowly raising his head.

"No." W_hew! __Thank __God!_ He thought to himself; then became thoughtful again. _What __if __he__'__s __not __waiting __for __a __girlfriend __because __he__'__s __waiting __for __a __boyfriend_? That thought caught him off guard and hasn't realized that he asked Castiel if he's waiting for a boyfriend until the man he was to talking to laughed. And that was a beautiful laugh.

"No." He said, still smiling—for the first time that night—at what Dean asked. "No. I'm waiting for a boy and he's a friend but not in that sense." He continued, his smile getting wider. _God! __That __is __just __so __damn __beautiful!_ Castiel leaned a little closer to Dean. Dean mirrored Castiel's action as the man sighed a little—smile still intact. "I don't swing that way." He said as he shook his head. He smiled wider and leaned back on his chair. "At least I don't _think_ so." He said with a smile as he stretched his arms above his head a little and folded them behind his head. He had smug grin directed at Dean's somehow shocked and nervous expression.

"If you're trying to flirt with me, I'm not interested." Castiel said, getting Dean out of his trance.

"Huh?" he asked absentmindedly.

"What? You don't think I don't have enough experience to know the art of flirting, do you?" he said smugly. "I've had all kinds of women _and __men_ flirting with me. I don't know what they see in me." He said with a snort as he looked around and brought his hands back on the table.

"Uh..." was all Dean could manage until a man came behind Castiel and kissed him on his cheek.

"Cassy." He said with a weird accent.

"Balthazar." He said with a smile as looked up at the man that kissed him. "Stop calling me Cassy." He said as he raised a brow.

"But it sounds cute. Just like you!" Balthazar said gleefully. Castiel rolled his eyes at the same time Balthazar saw Dean. "And who might you be?" he asked Dean, a hint of anger, jealousy or whatever evident in his tone. Dean either ignored it or was too out of his head to answer.

"That's Dean. Just met him."

"Oh." Was all Balthazar muttered.

"Where's my idiot of a brother?"

"He's right..." Balthazar paused in mid sentence when he turned his head to look at Castiel's brother—which happened to be not there—and let his head fall to the side as his brows furrowed in confusion. "behind me." His last two words barely audible. _Huh_. He thought.

Castiel sighed as he stood up, taking his friend's attention back at him. "I'll look for him before he starts doing something stupid. Stay here." He said and removed his trench coat to reveal a black vest with a long sleeved white button up—one button down—with a loose dark blue tie around his neck. He placed the trench coat behind the chair he was sitting on and removed the tie around his neck as well as his vest and put it down on the table. He rolled up his sleeves a quarter higher. His friend, Balthazar, eyed him with raised brows that say, _what __are __you __doing?_

"It's getting hot, okay?" was all he said in understanding the question written all over his face. He then loosened another button from his shirt. "Again. Stay here while I look for Gabriel." Repeating his words from before to Balthazar. His attention then shifted to Dean. "Nice meeting you Dean. You can stay and _wait_ for me if you want. But as I said before..." he trailed off, knowing that Dean understood. Dean slowly nodded his head. A smile flashed across Castiel's face as he walked out to find his brother.

"Huh." Balthazar said out loud, getting Dean's attention, as he sat beside him.

"What?" Dean asked reluctantly.

"It's been a very long while since I saw Cassy smile that way." He said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, gaining a smirk from Balthazar.


	2. I Want to Know You

_Author's Note..._

_Um, hey guys. Sorry for putting another author's note. I'm just here to tell you that I moved this up to Rated T because in a chapter coming soon, there'll be a little graphic image of boys kissing and all. If you don't like that kind of stuff, I suggest you don't read that chapter. You won't be missing much though (at least I think so. hmm.). I'll be writing another author's note on that chapter so you'll know what to do the moment you run along that chapter. Still, I think you should read that one cuz I really enjoyed writing it. Hihi._

_I'm just doing this to play a little safe when I realized I only chose Rated K+. This is simply for safety measures. Even though I have a pretty good feeling you guys won't mind boys kissing much. :D_

_Anyways, enjoy and thanks to those who left reviews! :)_

**By Chance**

_**I Want to Know You...**_

===3==

"_What do you mean?" Dean asked, gaining a smirk from Balthazar._

"Well, Cassy and I grew up together. We're like the best of friends. Actually, there are _three_ of us." Balthazar paused, thinking about the past. "Cassy, me and Michael. We all grew up together. We went to the same school even up to college and we even stayed in the same apartment; just the three of us." He paused again and became very thoughtful. His brows furrowed as he thought deeply.

"Castiel," he paused, saying Castiel's real name for the first time that night, "he has always been the lady's man since high school. Hell! He's even a heartthrob since...forever! A lot of girls at our school would be very much willing to die for him. Heck, even a one night stand would be okay with them as long as it's with Castiel." He chuckled a little at the thought. "Even men drool over him. Yes, he doesn't swing that way, but he just gave the men his attention, saying that it wouldn't be fair if he ignored them." He sighed slowly and deeply as he thought of how to continue the story.

"Michael and I were both 'school heartthrobs' ourselves," he said, putting emphasis on the words _school __heartthrobs_, "But Michael and I do swing that way. We did sleep with some men during our high school. Both Michael and I are bi. Cassy's the only one straight among the three of us but he accepted and loved us anyways." He paused again and played with Castiel's neck tie on the table.

They were both silent for a while. Balthazar seemed to be thinking deeply until Dean thought of breaking the silence. "The people still accepted you guys even though they knew what you two were?" it sounded kind of offensive to Dean and thought of rephrasing the question until Balthazar looked up to him to respond. He didn't seem to be offended.

"Of course they did. We're bi, not gay. We don't put on make ups and do girly things." He said with a grimace. "We are sweet to whoever we're _playing_ with but we still have our manliness. Both Michael and I played football with Cassy. Michael's the team captain of the said sport. I also wrestle and became the head of the wrestling team in no time. Cassy was the youngest basketball captain in our history. He sings well and plays four instruments as well. He's a B student and a responsible brother." He smiled and went back on playing with the tie.

"His biggest flaw though, is that he was a player. He never trusted anyone with his heart except for me, Michael and his older brothers, Gabriel and Lucifer." The smile slightly faded out of his face. "But we all know it's because of his father. He just left the three of them with their dying mother. Cassy was five at the moment. Lucifer, being the oldest, took great care of Gabriel and Castiel when their mother died. He was a very responsible man. He's ten years older than Cassy and two years older than Gabe."

"They were doing really well that time. Lucifer was able to have a business that grew well due to his amazing talent in business. It felt like nothing could go wrong for them anymore. Then, we were in sixth grade when the worst thing happened." He paused and swallowed thickly, the pain being evident on his face. "Lucifer's partner, and _best__friend_, stabbed him." He choked. His breathing became slightly heavier; the topic being too hard for him to take. His eyes seemed to water. His brows furrowed to think and continue his story.

"Lucifer, died, right in front of Castiel's eyes." He stopped again, brows furrowing deeper and his breathing getting heavier. "Cassy was standing right there at the door. He said he heard the whole argument. He said that Lucifer was very much willing to lend his friend the money he needed. The friend didn't sound so happy for a reason he didn't understand. Then he heard things breaking. He didn't bother to knock anymore and simply opened the door in front of him. The man's back was facing him. He then saw his brother's wide eyes looking at him, leaning on his best friend. He said that he saw a tear roll down Lucifer's face and smiled sadly at him." He stopped once more, eyes closed, brows furrowed, mind deep in thought. He sighed shakily as he opened his eyes to stare back down at the table.

"Then he saw the man pull his knife out of Lucifer's abdomen, shaking. _I__'__m __sorry_ was the only thing Castiel heard him say and he knew it was directed at his brother. The man was sobbing as he slowly got down on the floor and laid Lucifer's lifeless body in front of him. The man crossed his arms over Lucifer's chest and placed his head on top of it. He was shaking and crying heavily at Lucifer's dead body. Castiel on the other hand was doing his best to keep the noise of his sobs down. He slowly backed away and called 911." He shook his head, taking the thought of Castiel's vulnerable expressions out of his mind.

"At least that's what he told the judge." He shrugged. "The police then came and took the man. He went with them without any hesitation. That was when young Castiel built full metal walls that protect his life. Walls that stopped anyone from entering. Every girl he had a fling with didn't even know how many brothers he used to have. All they knew was that Michael and I were Cassy's best friends and that he's _hot_." He snorted at the last word. "I'm quite sure it's because that's all he let them know. Only Michael and I were the students at school who knew what happened and remained quiet; for Castiel." He said in a sad tone.

"Then, our second year in high school came. Things really got weird that time. That was our greatest time of glory as well. We were the sports stars, as I've said earlier." He said looking back up at Dean who simply nodded. "Both Michael and I, without really realizing it until second year, fell in love with our little Cassy." He said with a fond smile. "Who wouldn't fall for him anyway? He's handsome, averagely smart, athletic and very talented. He's also the sweetest man that has ever existed, ones his walls were brought down, that is. I was actually wondering why it took me so long to realize I was falling for one of my best friends." He said as he shook his head as he chuckled softly.

"When we both found out that we both have feelings for Cassy, we both agreed _not_ to tell him _at__all_. Cassy was straight and if things get awkward, we might lose him and he'll lose us. We don't want him to lose more after losing Lucifer." He went silent again, thinking deeply.

"What happened then?" Dean interjected Balthazar's thoughts. He looked blankly back at Dean. "You're story doesn't sound finished yet."

"Oh. Well, I noticed something different in Cassy when we reached our junior year." He smiled sadly yet with a hint of fondness in it. "Castiel smiled at Michael very sweetly. He seemed to be so relaxed with him. Well, he is relaxed with me too and very sweet to me as well. But I know there's something deeper in that. There are times that he'll just stare at Michael sweetly for a long while until Michael catches his eyes and return the fond look." He sighed heavily and smiled. "And then, everything made sense. Castiel's in love with Michael."

"When I realized that, I confronted Cassy. Of course, being the man filled with too much pride in his manliness, denied my words. He started to feel quite uneasy around me and Michael. Michael was wondering what was going on with Cassy. He was really scared as hell but never dared to ask. He just knew him too well."

"A week passed after my confrontation with Cassy. I went to Michael and told him to confess to Cassy. He was really mad at first but I explained everything I was able to observe. Still, he didn't confess. So, it was up to me to get them together." He smiled smugly and ran his fingers through his hair, eyes looked back at Dean. "I set them up."

"After that, Cassy accepted the fact that he really was bi like Michael and I. Everything went well until college. They joked about getting married after graduation; of who will propose and all. Ever so obviously, they were planning on making me their best man." He chuckled at the thought. "Michael never stopped thanking me for letting him have Castiel. All I said was that Cassy really belonged to him from the start." He smiled sadly at the thought of Castiel not belonging to him at all.

"Cassy was shorter than Michael and younger by almost a year which made Michael very protective over him. Cassy, missing the comfort of protection due to Lucifer's sudden absence, simply let Michael take care of him all the time. Castiel was still a part of the basketball team during college; Michael remained as a football player while I joined baseball for a change." He finished with a shrug, as if it was no big deal.

"Did they..." Dean started hesitantly—because he really had to ask—as he kept his eyes kept away from Balthazar.

"Have sex? Hell yes." Balthazar said with a smirk. He didn't need to hear the whole question to understand what Dean was asking. Dean looked back at Balthazar. "It took them three long years though, before Cassy got laid by Michael." He continued with a slight flushed expression and a small smile on his face.

"Why is that? I thought Castiel knew his way around these kind of things. Why is it different with Michael?"

"Because that was the first time he's been with a man, dumbass. Michael, no matter how much he wanted to do it with Cassy, restrained himself. He wanted it to be special for Cassy. He wanted him to make the first move. They enjoyed making out though. But it really took all of Michael's will power not to rip off little Cassy's clothes and get into his pants." He chuckled as he threw the neck tie in the air and caught it again swiftly. "Until our second year in college. It was Michael's birthday and he was giving off that vibe and told Michael he will be giving him his gift _later_."

"Michael, being almost as clueless of everything as Cassy, didn't get the catch. So I took the hint and left them alone. I said that I have some research papers to do even though I'll simply go to a bar and pick up some random girl or man to take to a motel." He smiled at the happy memory of his friends. "Then when I got home, they were in Michael's room; both are still naked under the sheets. Michael has his arms around Cassy while Cassy's head rested on Michael's chest with his arms wrapped around the older man's waist. They both looked so happy and contented. I was waiting in the kitchen, drinking coffee when Michael came out and told me it was the best birthday he ever had."

He remained silently once more, remembering the content faces of his friends. The way Michael was just glowing after the night of intimacy between him and Castiel. The way Castiel smiled shyly seeing Michael's glow. The way Michael kissed Castiel with such love and passion. The way everything just seemed to be more than just perfect.

"So," he started again, snapping out of the memory. "during our senior year, Michael finally got down on one knee and proposed to Cassy." He smiled fondly at the thought. "It was the best day both of my best friends have ever had. Of course, I already knew the proposal. I did help Michael find the ring." He said smugly. "I was waiting for them in the apartment that night, knowing that Michael has given Cassy the ring, to congratulate them and celebrate it with them. The dinner has been fixed and was very sophisticated. My handy work, of course." He said with another smug tone. "Then the worst thing happened." He said sadly.

"I got a call from a hospital. A lady was asking me if I'm Balthazar McRaven. I was second on Cassy and Michael's speed dial. Of course you knew who their firsts were." He smiled half heartedly. "I said yes and asked her what was wrong. She told me to get to St. Claire Hospital right away because a Mr. Castiel Collin and a Mr. Michael McKnight was currently in the ER." He shook a little as he closed his eyes—brows furrowed—trying to erase that memory.

"Obviously, I rushed to the hospital as I called Gabriel. Five minutes later, after I arrived at the hospital, Gabe came in out of breath. I was sitting on one of the chairs, shaking and can't get myself to stop. Tears were falling quickly from my eyes when Gabe saw me. His eyes started to water as well as he rushed to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I just melted into the embrace, knowing that that was what I was needing." He leaned back on the seat and tilted his head back, eyes closed, seemingly stopping tears from falling.

"There was nothing I could do." He said in a mere whisper. "Both my best friends were dying and I couldn't do anything to stop that." He choked, tears finally falling from his eyes. "I couldn't save either of them." He said shakily as he stared back at Dean.

Dean's brows furrowed and felt the sorrow in Balthazar's voice. The one that seemed to be so cheerful a while ago turned out to be very lonely inside.

Before Balthazar could continue the story or for Dean to interject, someone was clearing their throat which caught Dean and Balthazar's attention. Castiel.

"That's not your story to say Balthazar." Castiel said bleakly as he gave him a half glare. Balthazar simply snorted to Castiel's statement.

"It is _my_ story too. I just didn't focus on myself." he chuckled sourly. "How did you even know we were talking about you?"

"Because I know you." He said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah. You're right." Balthazar replied as if it was the most obvious answer that he failed to see.

"How far did he get?" his attention was now on Dean, hoping that he got the question.

"Hospital." Dean replied plainly. Castiel nodded and became thoughtful.

"That's all there is to know." He said sadly.

"You're not...mad?" Dean asked hesitantly.

"No. It's not like I can erase your memory to forget the things you found out by getting mad." He said plainly.

"Right." Was all he could mutter as he looked back down at the table, fingers laced with each other. Castiel smiled at the reaction he got from Dean. The first fond smile he has done in front of anyone other than Gabriel and Balthazar after the accident.

He then sat back on the chair he was sitting on which was across Dean. He thought it would be fun to tease Dean a little. A smirk working its way on his face as he stared at the man in front of him.

"Where is your brother anyway? I thought you went to look for him?" Balthazar asked all of a sudden.

"He's with that tall guy over there," he said, nodding on the direction Gabriel was standing beside a tall man. "He said he'd your brother Dean." He said as he looked back at Dean. Dean's eyes moved back to Castiel. Castiel tilted his head to Sam and Gabriel's direction. Dean followed his gaze. His brows furrowed at the sight of Sam showing great enthusiasm in front of another person; a person that is _not_ Dean.

"If you want your brother to remain sane and safe, I suggest you take him away from Gabriel as far as possible." Castiel teased a little.

"Nah. He looks happy." Dean smiled fondly at the sight of his brother smiling and having a _real_ good time for the first time in a long time. Castiel smiled fondly as well while looking at Dean.

Balthazar noticed this sudden change on his friend's face. He has never seen Castiel smile that way after Michael's death. That was the exact same smile he used to give Michael. The exact same way he smiled when Michael seemed so lost about everything. The exact same smile he gave Michael when Michael tries to be funny. The exact same smile he gave Michael that shows great love.

"Huh." Balthazar said out loud, getting Dean and Castiel's attention.

"What?" they asked in unison. Dean turned red and looked down at the table while Castiel raised a brow with a smug look on his face. Balthazar smiled slightly at the reaction of the two men. _This __could __be __Cassy__'__s __second __chance_, he thought to himself and smiled thoughtfully.


	3. I Miss You

**By Chance**

_**I miss you...**_

===3==

"_What?__" __they __asked __in __unison. __Dean __turned __red __and __looked __down __at __the __table __while __Castiel __raised __a __brow __with __a __smug __look __on __his __face. __Balthazar __smiled __slightly __at __the __reaction __of __the __two __men._This could be Cassy's second chance_,__he __thought __to __himself __and __smiled __thoughtfully._

"Um," Dean started after he tore his away from the table and cleared his throat, "Castiel, do you wanna have lunch tomorrow?" he asked, hope was very evident in his voice.

"Dean," Castiel started. He sighed and glanced down on the table and licked his lower lip and formed a thin line. He looked back at Dean's hopeful expression. "I told you before, I—"

"Not interested, I know. Just, lunch, as friends?" he stated, his voice was getting smaller by the second.

Castiel find it hard to reject this time because he looked like a little puppy that has been soaked under the cold rain that needed shelter. But Castiel remembered what he told himself after Michael died. _No __more __commitments, __no __more __relationship __with __men, __just __same __old __dirty __games __with __beautiful __women. __Just __like __in __middle __school __and __high__school_.

Just before Castiel could decline once more, Balthazar intruded. "Of course he would love to. Won't you Cassy?" Castiel turned to glare at his friend. It was a very intense glare. If looks can kill, Balthazar might have died a hundred times by now. But, Balthazar's immunity to his friend's glare led him to continue his little rant. "What do you say about twelve o'clock at Central Park?" he asked with a wide grin, already planning for Castiel and Dean.

"Sure. Okay." He replied to Balthazar. He didn't bother to look at Castiel, feeling Castiel's glare on him. Or maybe he was imagining it. Anyways, Castiel did remain silent. Silence means yes, right?

A few more chit chats later, Castiel looked at his wrist watch then at Gabriel. "I have to take the idiot home. He has a twenty four hour shift ahead at the hospital." He said as he stood up. He looked at Dean and Balthazar apologetically then grabbed his stuff and started to walk away.

"Wait Cassy!" Balthazar called out. Castiel turned back to look at his friend and tilted his head in confusion. "You didn't get Dean's number." His brows finally furrowed at Balthazar's statement.

"There's no need." He replied bleakly turned away once more. He might ditch Dean anyway, make up some lame excuse if ever they see each other again.

"I'll give him your number then." Balthazar said plainly and cheerfully. This caught Castiel's attention. He turned once more and glared at his friend. His face saying _you__'__re __a __dead __man __after __this_.

"Fine." He said and then finally walked to his brother without anymore intrusion.

===3==

"Gabe, you have a twenty-four hour shift in ten hours. I need to get you home." He said as he reached Gabriel and Sam.

"Oh c'mon lil' bro. Just a little more time; please?" he replied, giving a puppy dog eye. He sighed lightly and looked at Sam who seemed to be giving him the same looks. He sighed heavily and thought for a while.

"Okay. Ten minutes. If you're not in the car within that time span, I'll either drag you out of here or go home alone and lock all the doors and windows and place heavy tables behind them so you can't get in at all, understood?"

"Yes sir!" Gabriel replied cheerfully. "Thanks Castiel."

Castiel smiled at his brother and started to walk away. He went out into the parking lot to get to his car. He stared at the car with extremely sad eyes. It was Michael's before it became his' anyway. It just to be fixed and repainted and it was as good as the day before the accident. Staring at the car thoughtfully, he had a major flash back of what happened that day; 28th of August year 2006...

_Castiel was awakened by Michael's lips trailing sweet soft kisses on his neck. His eyes fluttered open and saw two beautiful chocolate brown eyes staring down at his sky like blue eyes. He smiled fondly at the man above him and gently kissed his lips._

_"Good morning, angel face." Michael teased when they parted slightly. Castiel snorted at his statement and kissed him again—deeper this time—as he wrapped his arms around Michael's neck and pulled him on top of him. Michael supported his weight by resting his hands on the bed keeping Castiel's head in between. Michael smiled at the kiss and reluctantly pulled away a few centimetres, breathing heavily. He rested his forehead on Castiel's, breathing evening out, and slowly opened his eyes to find two beautiful blue eyes staring at him. Those eyes were filled with joy and love._

_Michael leaned back down to press a light kiss on Castiel's lips once more. "Happy birthday Cas." He said fondly then gently—and teasingly—bit the tip of Castiel's nose. Castiel, in return, wrinkled his nose a little and smiled back at Michael. Michael slowly got off of Castiel and stood beside the bed as he gave his hand out to Castiel. Castiel took it as he was pulled by Michael off the bed._

_Michael put a quick kiss on Castiel's nose after the younger man got up. "Go take a shower. I'll cook breakfast." He said and turned to go to the kitchen. Castiel did as he was told and got out for breakfast. Michael was one hell of a chef. He can make one healthy meal extremely mouth watering. Castiel on the other hand knows very little when it comes to doing anything related to household chores. All he knew to do was clean the house. Laundry was always taken care of by the laundry shop and cooking was done by either Lucifer or Gabriel—but now it was just Gabriel doing all the cooking back at home._

_Castiel saw Michael finishing up breakfast on the counter—his back facing him. He slowly and quietly got behind Michael and wrapped his arms around him. Michael grinned at Castiel's action, not even startled by the arms around his waist, and continued finishing breakfast._

_After he finished making breakfast, he turned around to face the young man and cupped his face with his hands. He leaned down to kiss him gently. He pulled back with smile as one of his hands moved back to Castiel's hair and the other remained cupping his face. "Let's eat breakfast and I'll be taking you somewhere today." He said with a smile as Castiel tilted his head in confusion. He kissed him again gently and took their food on the table; Castiel followed him and sat down next to him._

_They finished breakfast quickly because of Michael's excitement._

_===3==_

_They got out of the apartment, Michael pulling Castiel excitedly. "I thought it was my birthday. Why are you the one being so excited?" Castiel teased Michael with a shy smile._

_"Because," he started as he stepped in front of Castiel to face him and bit his lower lip, "just because. Trust me, okay?" he said simply with a sheepish grin on his face. Castiel eyed his boyfriend for a while and placed soft, chaste kiss on his lips. He nodded a little with a smile as Michael smiled widely and basically dragged Castiel into his car._

_"So," Castiel started, "Can you give me some clues on where you're taking me?" he asked, hopeful._

_"Nope. It's a surprise." He said with a grin and glanced back at Castiel and took his hand on his free one. "You'll love it."_

_"Fine." He replied in defeat._

_Their drive took about an hour and they just talked as they drive. Soon enough, Michael pulled into the parking lot of a huge arena._

_"Where are we Mike?" Castiel asked as they got off the car._

_"Just wait and see." Michael pulled off that confident smile once more as he put his arm around Castiel's shoulders. Castiel tilted his head in confusion but went along with Michael._

_As they got inside, lights suddenly went on, giving them a well lit path. Castiel was slightly shocked but recovered quickly. They got deeper into the building. They reached the center and Castiel saw Balthazar with a few other men—who seemed to be a part of their school's baseball team—beside him. All of a sudden, the men went around and positioned themselves in three layers. They all showed plaque cards, each having a single letter. The top layer showed the letters H-A-P-P-Y in order. The second one showed the letters B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y while the last one showed the letters C-A-S-T-I-E-L._

_Castiel's eyes widened with surprise and seemed to be holding his breath._

_"Breathe Cas." Michael, from his left, leaned down to whisper to his ear. Suddenly, two men ran out from behind the group that was holding the plaque cards. They came out from the two directions and went to the center to run in front of Castiel. A wide smile was painted on their faces. They both kneeled on the ground and each pulled out a box, each with a necklace inside. The one on Castiel's left, a =CC= pendant was hanging. On his right, a =MM= pendant was hanging. Castiel looked up at Michael who was looking fondly at him. He released Castiel for a while and took the box that was right in front him and nodded his thanks to the man. He carefully opened the box and took the necklace out of it as he put the box in his jacket's pocket. He faced Castiel once more and put the necklace around his neck. Castiel looked down the necklace as Michael put it on him. He looked up back at him and smiled. Castiel then face the man right in front of him and took the box. He whispered thank you to him and did the exact same thing Michael did._

_Michael pulled Castiel into a deep kiss. He slowly pulled away, hands still on Castiel's waist. He smiled widely at him and bit his bottom lip. Reluctantly, he removed his hands from Castiel's waist and took his and Castiel's pendant on his hands. He put the two pendants together with a click. Castiel was amazed at what he saw and smiled very fondly at Michael._

_"No matter in what situation we're in, no matter where we are, we'll always fit perfectly together, like this." He said as he leaned back down to kiss the smaller man. They both smiled in the kiss until they heard a loud cheer from the group. Castiel flushed, realizing that they forgot those people._

_"We're also here to play Cas." Michael said, looking back at his lover._

_Castiel's eyes shone brightly at what Michael said. He has always been a fan of baseball but never got the chance to try out for he was already too busy with basketball, his academic subjects and with Michael. "Really?" he asked enthusiastically. Michael simply kissed the tip of his nose and led the way._

_They spent almost half of the day playing. Both of them were soaked with sweat. It was a good thing that Michael took care of everything. He got them clothes and went to the shower room to take a shower._

_After they got cleaned, he took Castiel back to the car and drove out of the parking lot._

_"Mike. Um, home is that way." Castiel pointed out, looking at the opposite direction._

_"I know Cas. Did you really think that was over?" he said as he grinned, glancing at Castiel for a little while. Castiel shrugged, not knowing what to say. "Just trust me, okay?" he said with a smile as he carefully reached for Castiel's hand once more._

_After driving for almost three hours, Michael woke Castiel up by kissing him lightly on his lips and whispering, 'we're here Cas.'_

_Castiel reluctantly fluttered his eyes open to see Michael's beautiful chocolate brown eyes. "Hi." He said groggily, voice still tainted with sleep._

_"Come on, get up. You have to see this." Michael said as he took Castiel's hand and closed the car's door behind them. They were in an empty beach and Castiel grinned widely. Michael led him to a stair which led to the top of the light house. When they reached the top, Castiel saw a table with two chairs facing each other. A candle was lit in the middle. There were food on both sides which were covered with metal covers. Michael led Castiel to his seat and went around to sit on the one across Castiel._

_They ate in peace as they talked about everything. The sun was starting to set on the horizon. Michael took Castiel's hand and led him near the window to watch the sun go down._

_Michael let out a shaky breath as he watched Castiel from the corner of his eye. He slowly reached down his pocket where a black box was hiding. Castiel was too busy watching the sunset to notice what Michael was doing._

_Just before the sun set down completely, Michael got down on one knee. Castiel was caught off guard and stared at Michael, his head tilted to his right in confusion._

_"Castiel Angelo Collin," he started as he showed the box and opened it slowly to reveal a simple silver ring with two angel wings on both sides. "Will marry me?"_

_Castiel's mouth hung open; his mind processing the words that came out of Michael's lips. He got out of his trance and tackled Michael, causing both of them to fall on the floor._

_"So," Michael started hesitantly, "is that a yes?" he asked, more hopeful than he thought._

_"Of course it's a yes!" he said and pulled back a little. He leaned in closer and kissed Michael slowly and gently. Michael placed his free behind Castiel's head to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. When they were both running out of air they pulled away. Michael carefully took the ring out of the box and slipped it to Castiel's finger._

===3==

Castiel snapped out of the memory as he felt his cheeks wet with tears. He didn't realize that he has been crying at all. He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand and sniffed a little.

"God, Michael. I miss you so much." He whispered in the air as he shut his eyes close, tears rushing down his cheeks, to his chin and down to the ground.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Very very quick AN. Please, please do read...<strong>_

_**So, castielXdean would be 'destiel', samXgabriel would be 'sabriel', samXdean would be 'wincest' (i don't really know or care about the rest), what would castielXmichael be? If they already have a name for their pair up, PM me. If they don't, still, PM me. We might start this new pair up. By the end of the final chapter ya'll will know what it will be (unless there is one already).**_

_**Thanks so much for the time guys! :)**_

_**Love ya'll! :D**_


	4. Very Unmanly Thoughts

**_AN: something something here. haha. don't read the italicized words-dean's dream-if you can't take too much mental image of...yeah...you know...haha. XD_**

**_although i swear it's very mild. i've read more detailed ones. nyahaha. go on and read! XD_**

* * *

><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**Very unmanly thoughts...**_

===3==

Dean Winchester is _not_ gay. Or so he thought. He has never felt so static and alive being with a man before. He has never felt all warm and fuzzy towards anyone—not even towards a woman. He has never felt wanting someone so badly even though they have just met. He has never felt that turned on by a simple smirk. He has never been so vulnerable in front of anyone. He has never stammered and he has definitely never been lost for words. He always has a retort to make someone shut up. But the thing that really bothered him was that when he asked Castiel out for lunch, he practically looked like he was about to beg for him to agree. He was very thankful that Balthazar interjected; a lunch date to _somewhere_ is now set.

_Pick Castiel up from work. Go to wherever Castiel wants to go. Do my best to look adorable and maybe by the end of the day, Castiel may feel the same way. Yeah, that's what I'll do_. He thought and sighed heavily; realizing how much chick flicky that sounded—do his best to look adorable. Yeah. Right.

He remembered Balthazar telling him where they both work and he decided to be a gentleman and pick him up; _hoping_ that maybe that would turn him on.

Dean has also been very... persuasive, after getting Castiel's number from Balthazar. He kept on sending text messages to Castiel. Some were just trivial stuff—which Castiel actually appreciated. Other stuff—well, almost ALL—were kind of senseless. All Dean wanted to do was to get Castiel's attention to him. He also called twice—the second one being ignored—as he simply sat in the Impala. After the second call has been ignored, he thought that Castiel may be already asleep in bed; hestarted driving home.

As he drove, his heart rate can't seem to return to normal. His head kept on flashing images of Castiel and his beautiful smile; the shine in his beautiful blue eyes that made all the lights in the bar seem like a faded background for a master piece; the confident look on his face that makes Dean shiver; his beautifully messed up hair, waiting for Dean's hands to run through; his beautiful pink lips that Dean simply wanted to kiss; his well toned—exposed—chest underneath that white button up that made Dean wonder how it would feel under his hands—his body. That final thought led to Dean wondering what the man would look and feel like without his clothes as a hindrance. Wait, did he...?_ I'm such a perv_. Dean thought, heart beating even faster than it was before—if that was even possible—while his face turned into an amazingly red color. Somehow, his jeans were getting too tight on him. He was glad that Sam has decided to stay at the bar for a little while. He really didn't need his little brother acting all smarty pants on him again. Or teasing him about the matter at hand.

Seriously though, he did wonder what Castiel's body would feel against his'. He wants to know how that man's body would react to his touch. He wants to feel that body in his arms. He wants to know how warm his body would feel. He wants to run his lips onto the man's neck, chest, abdomen and anywhere else he could put his lips on and savour Castiel's taste in his mouth. But most of all, he wants to get inside Castiel and feel his warmth and tightness around him. _Yeah, __very __manly __Winchester_. He thought, face turning red once more. All kinds of perverted thoughts flooded his mind as he got to his apartment.

He got out of his car and into his apartment. He went straight to his room after he shut the door lock behind him. He took his socks off and threw it into the basket of his dirty clothes. He took off his shirt and replaced it with a white undershirt. He then shrugged off of his jeans and hung it at the back of the door to be used for a second time some time of the week. He went to the kitchen to his fridge and took out a slice of apple pie and a can of root beer. He went to the living room and sat down on the couch, turning the TV on to watch a rerun of his favourite show—Dr. Sexy M.D.—as he ate his dinner. The show ended at one in the morning. He stretched out a little and threw the empty can in the trash can. He brushed his teeth and washed his face before crawling into bed. He stared at the ceiling—one hand between his head and his pillow while the other rested on his stomach—thinking of those blue eyes again. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.

===3==

_Dean woke up to the smell of bacon being cooked. He smiled thoughtfully and bit his lower lip. He quickly and quietly got off of bed, slipping into his clothes—namely his undershirt and his boxers—that were lying on the floor. He silently went out of the room and into the kitchen, having a glimpse of a figure cooking something. The figure seemed to be wearing an old shirt of Dean's. He smiled to himself and quickly went up to the figure and wrapped his arms around it. He kissed the figure's neck softly and hugged it tighter._

_"You're up early." He told the figure in his arms. Just then, he loosened his grip a little to let the figure turn to face him. Castiel. He smiled fondly at Dean and Dean returned the fond smile._

_"Because I have to feed you with real food." He replied smugly._

_"Hey, pie is real food." He said quietly as he kissed him softly and sweetly. Castiel smiled under the kiss and raised a brow at Dean when their lips parted—smile still intact._

_Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and kissed him again. "Right." He started in a whisper, "It is real food. It's not a real meal though." He finished smugly, smirking at Dean's slightly shocked face, a brow raised in a way of challenging the taller man for a retort._

_Dean closed his open mouth as he blinked thoughtfully, finally shoving the thought of arguing. He turned off the stove behind Castiel and narrowed his eyes. "Can I just have you as breakfast?" he asked, tracing sweet, soft kisses on Castiel's neck. "Cause you look so delicious at the moment." He whispered and continued kissing the smaller man's neck. Castiel moaned under him and tilted his head opposite to where Dean was placing kisses all over to give him more access._

_"Hmm. Maybe you can." He whispered. He can feel Dean's smile on his skin. Dean started kissing Castiel, softly at first and needy and passionate the next. He backed away slowly, dragging Castiel with him. He turned them around and Castiel met the dining table. Dean lifted him up and sat him on the table._

_Castiel let his fingers run through Dean's hair and pulled him closer. He wrapped his legs around the other man's waist, pulling his body closer to him. Dean groaned when his abdomen felt Castiel hardening. He smirked, knowing very well that he was hardening as well. He slid his hands down Castiel's thighs and lifted him up, without breaking the kiss._

_He carried him to the bedroom and threw them onto the bed. He started kissing Castiel's neck; biting and sucking and licking the skin. Castiel moaned in return. Dean removed his clothes quickly and was naked soon enough. Castiel removed the only clothing that covered his body and went back to kissing Dean._

_"You are very much aware how amazingly hot you are, right?" Dean said roughly and breathlessly, voice filled with lust, when they parted for a while._

_"Yep, pretty much." Castiel whispered back and claimed Dean's mouth back. He pulled Dean closer to his body with the use of his legs that were still around Dean's waist. Dean groaned, feeling Castiel already hard underneath him. He smirked and slowly slid his hand all the way down. His finger teased an entrance which made the man underneath moan and squirm a little which made Dean's smirk wider._

_Dean bit Castiel's lower lip and kept on simply teasing the entrance. Castiel moaned louder and squirmed a little more, raising his hip so Dean would just put his finger in. Every movement Castiel did with his hip, Dean move his hand out of reach a little, feeling self satisfied. Castiel got impatient and pushed Dean away slightly. He tried to glare at Dean while catching his breath. "Quit teasing and just get on with it." He said firmly._

_Dean flashed a wide smile and bit his lower lip. He leaned down to claim Castiel's lips once more but was unsuccessful because he was pushed away lightly. He grimaced at the action as Castiel raised a challenging brow which made him smile as he shook his head. He obeyed Castiel and just got on with it; opening Castiel enough for him to get in. He claimed Castiel's lips back successfully this time._

_"I'm getting in." He panted through Castiel's mouth. He got a nod as a response._

_Slowly and gently, he lowered himself to get inside of Castiel. They both moaned with pleasure—Dean for getting inside of Castiel and Castiel for feeling Dean inside him. He lowered even more to thrust deeper which has earned him a loud groan from the man underneath him. He slowly thrust up and down, not getting out of the other man completely._

_"Dean..." he moaned breathlessly, "go a little faster... I'm... I'm at the edge." He finished with a grunt. He pulled Dean closer with his legs and claimed his mouth once more; their tongues fighting for dominance._

_Dean leaned back a little to be able to speak. "Do you want me to go hard as well?" he offered breathlessly and seductively; a smug smirk painted on his face._

_"Like you had to ask?" replied a breathless, lustful voice which encouraged Dean more._

_After the early morning sex, they were both tired and panting. Castiel moved closer to Dean to snuggle while Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel, as if the man beside him would suddenly disappear if he loosen his grip._

_Castiel let out a contented soft sigh on the crook of Dean's neck as he absentmindedly doodles on the other man's chest. Dean rubbed Castiel's back softly while his other hand rested on his stomach. Castiel reached for the hand that rested on his stomach and intertwined it with his'. He played with it a little; which Dean didn't really mind. He sighed once more and put Dean's hand down; still intertwined with his._

_"I love you, Dean." He whispered and kissed Dean's shoulder._

_Dean released his hand from Castiel's grip gently to stroke the other man's cheek. "I love you too." He whispered back. He felt Castiel smile on his shoulder. "Sleep a little more. I know you're tired." He whispered, voice field with concern and love._

_Yes, he loves Castiel._

===3==

Dean woke up flushed, replaying the dream he just had. He loves Castiel. And Castiel loves him. _Wow.__Just...__Wow._ He thought, blinking rapidly. That dream was more than just awesome. There were no words to be used to describe that wonderfully amazing dream.

A smile slowly crept up on his face. Then, he looked at his alarm clock, _5:42__AM_. He doesn't have to show up for work until eight o'clock so he laid down his bed once more, a fond smile painted on his face. Both of his hands were placed between his head and his pillow. He slowly closed his eyes; the smile was still glued on his face.

"Castiel..."


	5. Persuasion: Day 1

**By Chance**

_**Persuasion: Day 1...**_

===3==

Castiel just finished his morning class—which was also his last for the day—at eleven o'clock. He knew that he really has to go to Central Park to meet up with Dean.

Dean has been... a _little_ too persuasive after getting his number and Balthazar planning their _lunch_. He's already fixing his stuff when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"_Um, hi Castiel, it's Dean._" _great! Just what I needed! Ugh!_

"Oh. Hello Dean." _Please, __please __cancel._

"_Um, yeah. Uh, so, Balthazar told me you teach at NYU?_"

"Yes, that is true. Why?"

"_Um,_" Dean started hesitantly, "_I'm actually outside the University, thought I might as well pick you up since I'll be passing by anyway. Don't worry I have a car._"

That caught him off guard. _Going __out __as __friends, __huh?_ He thought. A smirk was slowly creeping up on his face. "Okay Dean. I'll be out in a few."

"_Okay! I'll wait for you then._" He replied gleefully and they both hung up.

Castiel stared at his phone with awe. It seems like Dean will be the one he'll be having troubles shaking off. He smiled and shook his head and fixed up his stuff. He swiftly slid into his black coat and slung his bag over his shoulder. When he got out of the room, he went straight to Balthazar's class. He was in the middle of a discussion when Castiel's figure leaned at the doorframe.

"Excuse me class." He said as he walked up to meet Castiel, a wide grin playing on his face. "What is it Cassy?" he said cheerfully to his friend.

Castiel snorted at his friend's act of _innocence_. He smiled smugly as he showed his car keys in front of his friend's face. "I see you also told Dean I teach here." He said as he put his keys into his friend's hand. "You are now obligated to pick me up later, after this lunch is over. He came here to pick me up."

Balthazar blinked at what his friend said, brows ever so slightly furrowing. "What?"

Castiel sighed and shook his head. "Pick me up. Call you to tell you what time. Your obligation." He said slowly, emphasizing each word as if Balthazar was the most stubborn—kind of true though—person or child or whatever in the world whose mind didn't really function quickly.

"Oh, okay." He muttered as a reply, earning another smug face from Castiel.

"It's your fault anyway." He said as he walked down the hall, away from his slightly dumbfounded friend.

===3==

Castiel got to the place where Dean said he would be parked. The said man was leaning his back on a beautiful black 1967 Chevrolet Impala. Dean did look very stunning leaning on his car. Castiel didn't seem to notice that though. His mind was too busy with a whole lot of other things.

Meanwhile, on Dean's side of the story, different female students that passed him were either giggling flirtatiously to get to him while the others flirted through their eyes. For some unknown reason though, Dean doesn't seem to notice what was going around him at all. It was like he didn't really care at all. All he could think of at the moment was seeing those beautiful blue eyes looking at him. Castiel's perfect face was stuck in his head. Absentmindedly, he grinned to himself while his eyes were glued to the ground; still not caring about the stuff around him.

He was thinking about his _perverted_ dream that night. The way it felt so real. The way he truly felt loved by Castiel. It was just amazing that he couldn't get it off of his mind. The sound of Castiel's voice, the smug smile, his confident words, the way he was able to _manipulate_ Dean—there were simply no words to how he felt about that dream. He simply hopes that that dream could be a glimpse of a future with the other man.

"Hi Mr. Collin." A group of girls said as they passed by. Their voices that were filled with extreme sweetness and lust snapped him out of his stupor, feeling reality set in.

"Hello girls." A familiar voice said from behind. Dean slowly turned to see that it really was Castiel, smiling smugly with a little touch of fondness as he waved back at the girls. The girls flushed as they giggled and teasingly push each other. _Stupid __beautiful __college __women._ He thought to himself, seeing how comfortable and confident Castiel was, as if it was the most natural thing for him.

Dean froze to where he stood, eyes glued on Castiel, with his mouth hanging open. _God! __He __looks __even __more __stunning __in __daylight!_ He thought. He remained staring at Castiel, memorizing every detail of his face under the bright sunlight, seeing for the first time how bright those blue eyes really are. His gaze then slowly fell on Castiel's pointed nose and quickly down to his lips. They look so soft and kissable to him. He swallowed thickly and let his jaw drop a little. _What __would __they __feel __like __on __mine?_ He thought as his heart rate tripled its speed. He seemed to be holding his breath because his shoulders and chest seemed to have stopped rising and falling.

Castiel slowly tilted his head to the side as his brows furrowed; wondering why Dean was staring at him that way with his face flushed. "Is there something on my face?" he asked as their distance shortened.

"Uh..." Dean, stammered as he got out of his trance and focused his eyes someplace else to avoid eye contact with Castiel.

Castiel chuckled at the reaction he got from Dean. "Is that all you can say to me? _'__Uh__'__?_" he laughed full heartedly as the other man's face redden a little more.

Castiel finally stopped laughing and laid his eyes on Dean's Impala. He gently ran his fingers on the hood and smiled thoughtfully. "This is a 1967 Chevrolet Impala, right?" he asked with a confident smile on his face.

"Yeah." Dean choked and cleared his throat. "Um, you into cars?" he asked sheepishly.

"Kinda. My brother loved cars and taught me everything I know about them." He gave a sad smile as he looked back at the Impala. "She's a beauty isn't she?" he finished with a heavy sigh and thoughtful eyes.

"Yeah, she is." Dean replied with a smile and looked at his car as well. A few silent moments later, Dean cleared his throat. Castiel gazed at Dean for a while but instantly looked back at the car. "Is that brother...Lucifer?" he asked reluctantly, very careful not to cross the line and offend Castiel. Castiel simply smiled and nodded his head, pain evident in his eyes.

"He was an amazing brother; Lucifer. He was named after the devil but he's the kindest and most thoughtful person I've ever known. He's a very selfless man and raised both Gabriel and I well." He sighed and became thoughtful for a while. He smiled sadly and inhaled deeply. He turned his gaze back at Dean. "Well, I think we should go. I know just the place." he beamed, changing the subject, gaining a fond smile from Dean.

===3==

Their drive was quiet but it wasn't awkward. It took them about half an hour to get to the diner Castiel was talking about. The diner was well lit and quite elegant but simple at the same time. The whole place screamed of family, friendship, safety and love.

They sat down on a table that lies beside the window. Castiel looked out the window thoughtfully when they sat down while Dean looked at the menu. "This is where Michael and I had our first date that led to us confessing each other's feelings." Castiel said—breaking the silence—as he looked back at Dean with a painful look.

Dean licked his bottom lip and became thoughtful for a while. "Are you sure you want to eat here?" he asked in a voice slightly above a whisper. Concern ghosted his face alongside came pain, sorrow and something Castiel couldn't figure out.

"Yeah." He said instantly. "This is one of the few ways I can still feel connected to _Mike._" He said with another pained smile.

"Okay. I can't take that away from you." Dean replied. He felt his chest tightening while his stomach seemed to flip violently inside him. Why he was feeling that way confused him in every possible way. He wasn't sure if it's because he can sense Castiel's pain and feel compassion towards the man or if it's due to the man's tight grip on his ex's memories. He wondered if this stabbing feeling in his chest was because he knew he _could__never_ be enough to _replace_ Michael in Castiel's heart. That thought alone made breathing a little too hard for him. "Well, let's eat then." He said with a forced smile, trying to convince the man in front of him—and himself at the same time—that he's pretty much okay.

===3==

Their lunch took longer than they thought. They were just talking about all kind of stuff until they got to getting to really know each other by sharing about each other's past, their likes and dislikes and other stuff. They stayed there for about three and a half hours until Castiel made an excuse of having a lot of term papers to check. As soon as they got out of their seats, he took his phone out of his pocket and called Balthazar.

"Hello, Balthazar? Can you pick me up now? We're at _the__diner._" Castiel said on the phone, emphasizing the last two words. "What? What do you mean you can't?" he said as his brows furrowed and there was a pause. "Fine," he grunted, "I'll just take a taxi then." He finished and sighed. He paused for a while to listen to his friend's respond. "Yeah, you too. Oh, wait, Balthazar... I hate you." He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket.

"No ride?" Dean asked, basing on what he heard from Castiel's side of the conversation. Castiel nodded at the question. "I can _take_ you _home_ if you want." Castiel frowned a little and raised his guard back up. _Shit! __He __must__'__ve __misunderstood! __Although __I __do __want __to __take __him __home __with __me_. "What I meant to say is that I can give you a ride home."

Castiel tilted his head to the side as the frown deepened. "I understand _that_ Dean. What did you think I thought?" he asked, confused at Dean's sudden defensiveness.

"Uh..." Dean stammered—again—not knowing whether to tell the truth or just make things up.

Castiel chuckled at his reaction. "I'm guessing that's your favourite word." He teased as his eyes shone brighter and his smile widened.

"Uh..."

"There it goes again." He said, laughing this time.

"I'm sorry. It's just..." Dean paused; looking around thinking then looked back at Castiel who was still grinning. He bit his lip and thought for another while. "It's just... Ugh!" he said with a roll of his eyes. "Never mind. Just, just let me take you home, okay?" he said, eyes full of hope and a slight tint of embarrassment.

Castiel would've declined but Dean's face was really hopeful and found it quite hard to decline. He doesn't really want to ride a cab as well, so he just sighed in defeat and got inside the Impala. Dean hid a smile and tried to hide the blush creeping up on him.

===3==

Castiel's house was about an hour away from the diner. Instead of dead silence, the car was filled with more stories about each other and some laughs. By the time they got to Castiel's place, they know at least half of each other's life before Dean pulled over in front of a six storey building.

"Thanks for the lunch, Dean. I _enjoyed_ your company." He said with a smile.

"Yeah. And thanks for your time." Dean replied with a fond smile. Castiel nodded in return and opened the door to get out. "Castiel," he started as Castiel turned to look back at him, "Its Sammy's birthday this Sunday and I was _kinda_ hoping you could go?" he asked hopeful... _again_.

"I'm not sure I could go."

"Please? Gabriel will be there as well. At least, that's what Sammy told me. It would really mean a lot." _For __me_. He added in his mind.

"But you guys barely even know me."

"Just... please? I'll pick you up at six PM, okay?" his voice pleaded this time.

Castiel sighed heavily once more. He doesn't really want anything to do with Dean. _No __relationship __with __men, __remember?_ He composed himself once more and smiled half heartedly at him, "Okay then." He replied, earning a wide grin from Dean.

"Thanks a lot Castiel." Castiel simply nodded as a response and got out of the car. He was a few more steps from the door when Dean suddenly called his name. He turned to see him running towards him. He tilted his head on one side, wondering why Dean was going his way.

As soon as Dean reached him, his question was answered by Dean's lips being pressed on his cheek lightly. Dean quickly turned back and ran faster back to his car and drove off quickly, as if someone's chasing him.

Castiel slowly raised his hand as his brows furrowed deep in thought and held his cheek; where Dean placed a soft kiss. His heart rate doubled but he doesn't know for which reason. It was either because he _might_ like Dean or if it's because that was the exact same thing Michael did when he confessed to him.

Michael kissed his cheek and literally ran to the comfort room as if bullies were after him. He stayed there for a good one hour until Castiel got impatient and almost dragged Michael out of the comfort room. When he got out, both of them said 'I'm in love with you' literally at the same time.

_This __night __could __be __another __night __filled __with __Michael __in __my __head_. He thought as he closed his eyes and his brows furrowed deeper.


	6. You're Still Here

**By Chance**

_**You're still here...**_

===3==

Castiel did have a lot of term papers to check, but he also doesn't have any class tomorrow which means he could do the papers the next day. He just wanted to get away from Dean because he knew Dean wanted him. By the way his eyes fall on him. The way he just stammers with his words whenever he's around. The way he glared at the girls who approach him to flirt with him. The way he seemed to record every word that comes out of his mouth. The way he felt timid around him. Most importantly, the way he just glows whenever he sees him smile. All of these signs point out to one direction—Dean is at the edge of falling for him. Too much for _no__commitment_ and _no__relationship__with__men_ if he lets Dean into his life.

Even though he didn't tell Dean that he doesn't have class tomorrow, he still started checking the term papers. He finished checking them by nine thirty that night. The back of his neck hurts and his shoulders felt like he has been lifting weights for more than the time he normally does. He stretched out a little to loosen up and fixed his stuff so won't have to worry about doing much tomorrow. He went straight to his fridge and found a pizza which he placed in the microwave to warm it up.

Balthazar was supposed to be in his room because he claimed to be feeling a little dizzy when he called. But when he got back, his friend was not found lying in his room. His only thought was that that man must be out picking up girls—or men—from different bars to take to a motel. That has been quite a routine for the man which doesn't really surprise him. It got him furious though that he lied so he won't have to pick him up.

Both men stayed in the same apartment they used to occupy when Michael was still around. Only difference was, instead of Michael being with them, it was now Gabriel. Castiel took over Michael's room, not wanting hi brother to lay a hand on Michael's stuff, while Gabriel took his old one.

He didn't bother to change Michael's room much. All the posters were the same. Some stuff stayed exactly where it was when he was still alive like his guitar in the corner of the room. A few of Castiel's stuff were added but basically, it has the exact same ambience of the room, which was all that mattered anyway.

He finished his dinner and went to _his_ room to get some clothes to change into after taking a shower. Instead of rummaging in his own pile of clothes—which he did a lot—he rummaged through Michael's old clothes. He took out a white short sleeved shirt that had both their initials designed in front and black wings designed at the back. It was a personalized shirt he bought him for their first anniversary. The next thing he took out were Michael's—and Castiel's at the same time—favourite sweatpants because it was what he was wearing the first time they had sex. Castiel simply smiled at the memory and went to the bathroom with the pair of clothes hanging over his shoulder.

He finished showering quickly and dried himself. He got into the sweatpants and pulled the shirt over his head down his body. The clothes were a little too big for him. Michael was a lot bigger than him so it made sense how baggy it looked on him and how perfect it looked on Michael.

He went to bed after putting clothes on and hugged the pillow beside him. He nuzzled his face in it, smelling Michael's scent. It has been his routine to spray Michael's perfume on the pillow after it has been washed from the laundry shop. He found it very relaxing to smell him before he dozes off to sleep. It felt like he was still there, lying next to him. He hugged it tighter and drifted to sleep.

"_So Cassy, what'd you get Mikey?" Balthazar asked with a smirk as he took a sip of his drink._

"_Why do you always add an –ey to our names Balthazar? It sounds awkward." Michael said with his slightly deep sweet tenor like voice. He was smiling fondly but still doesn't get the point of Balthazar calling them that way._

"_Because it sounds cute! Just like the two of you!" he pointed out. Castiel's eyes widened a little and bit his bottom lip. He was flushed and sank down in his place. Michael snorted at Balthazar's comment._

"_Yeah, right. Maybe we should start calling you Balthy." He countered with a laugh. Balthazar hummed and became thoughtful for a while._

"_Actually, that would sound good." He replied with a smile and a wink._

"_I was kidding man! You sound all girly."_

"_At least I'm honest." He said with a shrug. Michael simply laughed at their conversation. Castiel just smiled and remained quiet. Castiel's lack of speech suddenly caught Michael's attention. He was worried something might be wrong with the love of his life._

"_Cas, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, getting Castiel's attention._

"_Nothing. Um, my present for you might have to wait a little." He replied sheepishly as he bit his lower lip. His face was cherry red as he looked down the ground. Michael tilted his head to one side in confusion as he eyed him but let it go._

"_Cas, you don't even have to give me anything. Just having you is enough." He said and smiled fondly which made the young man turn into a darker shade of red and smile more sheepishly—if that was possible anyway._

"_Wow! Chick flick! I am out of here lovebirds." Balthazar interjected. Michael raised his brows at him; Castiel was still distracted. "I have some stupid research paper to do. I'll uh... head to the library for a while." He said as he took his coat. He glanced at Castiel who was giving him a thankful look. He nodded at him as an approval and got out of the apartment. It was strange that neither of the two men realized that the library has been closed for a few hours now._

"_So," Michael started, breaking the silence after their friend left, and looked back at Castiel "What's up Cas? You look a little... distracted."_

_Castiel slowly stood up and went to Michael. He sat on his lap and leaned down, placing his forehead on Michael's. He smiled fondly at him and rested his hand on his shoulders. Michael on the other hand rested his' around Castiel's waist; as if it was the most natural thing to do. Castiel slowly leaned down and kissed him. It started very soft until they both deepened it. Michael opened his mouth to give Castiel access. A few moments passed and both of them had the need to breathe. They were panting as they parted, faces a few centimetres apart. Michael's eyes slowly fluttered open to see a pair of beautiful blue staring at him. He can see pure love in those eyes in which he gratefully returned._

_Both of them were smiling and searching something in each other's eyes. Castiel bit his lower lip and kissed him softly one more time. "Bed." He managed to choke out after they parted for the second time. Clearly, Michael was confused. His brows furrowed at what his lover said. All Castiel did was smile smugly. His hands slid down from Michael's shoulders as he leaned a little further from Michael. His hands reached the other man's hands that lay on his waist. Michael followed Castiel's movement with a confused expression as the other man manoeuvred his hands. Castiel manoeuvred the other man's hand and slipped it under his shirt, Michael holding his bare skin. The other man suddenly snapped his attention back to his face. Castiel raised a brow and smiled seductively. Michael smiled widely and slightly—and gently— lifted Castiel up so he can stand up and carry him that way. Castiel wrapped his legs around Michael's hips so he won't fall while his arms wrapped around his neck. He leaned back down to kiss him passionately as the other man carefully stood up, holding him underneath with one hand and the other wrapped around his back._

_Michael got to his room with no trouble at all, even though he had his eyes closed and there was a Castiel in his arms, kissing him passionately. He closed the door behind them and fell down on the bed—Castiel underneath him. They shifted a little—lips still together—until both of them were fully on the bed._

_Michael pulled away a little, both of them panting hard. "You sure?" he asked._

"_Yeah." The other man choked out. "This would be my gift. That's why I'm very thankful Balthazar got the message." He said, smiling sheepishly. Michael simply smiled and went back to what they were doing._

_Castiel's hands snaked under Michael's shirt, feeling and exploring his bare chest. Michael removed his shirt to give the other man better access of his body. He did the same with Castiel's shirt and threw it somewhere in the room. One hand slid up and down Castiel's side while the other kept his weight from him._

_Castiel wrapped his arms around the other man's neck and pulled him down, sending the message that he preferred better skin to skin contact. Michael understood the message quickly and rested his body over him but still supported some of his weight. Castiel moaned due to the collision of their chests which gained him a smirk from Michael._

_The taller man slowly removed his sweatpants—doing his best not to break the battle of their mouths—successfully without anything else underneath, making him fully naked. Slowly, he kissed down Castiel's jaw line and down his neck, earning another soft moan from the man beneath him. He continued kissing him down his chest and abdomen, making the man underneath him moan even more. He reached for the man's jeans and unbuttoned it, making him gasp a little. Castiel helped him carefully remove his jeans and his boxers afterwards. Soon, they were back to business; Michael tracing kisses from Castiel's abdomen, to his chest, his neck, his jaw line and finally back to his mouth. With every touch of Michael's lips on his body, he shuddered and made little noises that thrilled the man on top of him._

_Michael was very careful and quite hesitant. He didn't want to surprise Castiel; he didn't want to be asked to stop. He gently bit the crook of Castiel's neck and licked it, leaving a mark, before he moved to his throat and did the same thing. Castiel in return moaned louder and arched his back to press himself to the taller man. He was breathing heavily with pleasure and just had to wonder what's taking Michael so long to get inside him._

_Castiel pulled back a little, making the other man worry, as he breathe heavily, "What's wrong?" Michael asked, studying his face._

_Castiel's breathing has steadied a little and fluttered his eyes open, eyes glued on Michael's. "Don't hesitate." He choked out in a whisper. Michael smiled fondly at Castiel's words. That was all that he needed, a little push from the one he loves. He kissed him gently as a response. He lowered his hips slowly to gently get inside of the man underneath. Castiel moaned as he felt the pain that was accompanied with pleasure. He held Michael's shoulder tightly that it would cause a bruise the next day. Michael knew the pain it was causing Castiel so he kissed his neck gently and slowly moved back to his lips, taking his attention away from the pain. He continued pushing through gently, not wanting to hurt Castiel and finally made it. He thrust in and out slowly, gaining the sounds he wanted to hear from the man underneath him. He wanted this to be perfect for both him and Castiel._

_A few more thrusting later and a little change in position, both men were more than just exhausted but more than just satisfied as well. They simply lay in bed, Michael's arm wrapped protectively around Castiel and Castiel's arms wrapped around Michael's waist. They stayed awake for another hour or two playing with each other's hands and just...touching each other. No sex involved. They had some laughs and fond stares at each other._

_Michael was playing with Castiel's hair that has become more unruly than it already was. The young man nuzzled closer to him and yawned. "Go to sleep." Michael whispered in his ear. He simply hummed to what Michael said and hugged him tighter and smiled while resting his head on the older man's chest. Michael chuckled softly to what Castiel did and continued playing with his unruly hair._

===3==

Castiel gasped awake and sat up quickly. It was the first time he had gone that far in that dream—or memory to be correct. Most of the time, he wakes up after getting to the part that Michael removed his shirt—that was the furthest he got. He never thought he'd actually go through it 'til the end.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger. He started breathing deeply to even out his breathing. Once he was sure his breathing is perfectly normal, he glanced down at the clock that was resting on the drawer beside him. _2:45__AM_. At least he was able to sleep for more than three hours before he was awakened.

He got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom, splashing some water on his face. After that, he went to the kitchen to get some water. After satisfying his thirst, he went to Balthazar's room to know if he's friend got home safely. He was glad to see him softly snoring on his bed. He went back to his room to try to sleep once more. He stared at the ceiling for a little while, thinking about the dream—the beautiful _memory_. He felt his chest clenching and his lungs clogged preventing air from circulating through his body. He tried to suppress the tears that were starting to form. It was no use though for those tears started falling without a warning. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, inhaling shakily and deeply. He just misses Michael that much. He misses the way Michael sings him to sleep. He misses the way he wrap his arms protectively around him. He misses the way he kisses him with such love and passion and comfort all at the same time. With all these thoughts rushing to his head, he can't help but wonder about some things. He wondered why he wasn't taken away with Michael. He wondered why he was left there, trying to piece back himself together... On his own.

After he was done crying, he inhaled deeply and more steady this time and hugged the pillow with Michael's scent once more. He felt his body relax as he sniffed on the scent that was attached on the pillow. Slowly, he drifted back to sleep with Michael's thoughts haunting him.


	7. Major Screw Up

**By Chance**

_**Major screw up...**_

===3==

Why the hell did he kiss him again? Oh yeah, he's insane! Yes, he admits that Castiel is very attractive indeed. He also admits that he has this pull towards Castiel, like he was a planet that revolves around the guy, as if he was in an orbit that simply controls his sudden pulls towards him. He also noticed how depressed he was that he couldn't replace Michael in his heart. He can really say at the moment that he is very much head over heels for Castiel. And yes, he admits that he _loves_ the guy. But seriously, Castiel wasn't showing any interest on him, he should just back off and be a _friend_ to the guy right?

No. He wanted so much more than that. He wants Castiel to be the person he wakes up with in bed—be it early in the morning, midnight, midday, afternoon, night or whatever. He wants Castiel to be the one to listen to his annoying problems. He wants Castiel to lean on him when the man needs a shoulder. He wants Castiel to be the one he cooks breakfast for and vice versa. He wants Castiel to hold him close at night. He wants Castiel to be the one he takes on romantic dates (he has so given up on the 'no chick flick' motto). He wants Castiel to give him that smile when he's down. He wants Castiel to be vulnerable for him, that mask of strength removed and see that pained and sorrowed man inside. He wants Castiel to be the one that kisses him gently when he's on the edge of throwing the towel. He wants Castiel, period.

But then, he just had to kiss the guy (it was only on the cheek though) and run away as fast as possible. Yep, it's safe to say that he screwed up; badly. Now Castiel wouldn't even want him as a _friend_. Life sucks when you go on impulse. The heck, life sucks when you're simply _Dean __Winchester_. Right.

He got to his apartment but stayed in the car, contemplating about the earlier event. Wondering about Castiel's reaction after he left. Wondering if he could find an excuse to see Castiel again. Would Castiel still consider going to Sam's party after what happened? Would Castiel actually want to see him? Uncertainty—that's all he has at the moment. He just has to find away to see Castiel and apologize and try to explain his actions—if there is anything to explain at all.

He sighed heavily and turned to get out of the car. But before he could actually get out, something caught his eye; it was a black book (notebook, whatever) lying on the car's floor in front of the passenger's seat. He took it and opened the first page—hoping that a name and address were written on it. He had a pretty good feeling to whom it belonged to but still opened it.

CC &MM

That was all that was written on the front page and it was written beautifully. Two angel wings on both sides.

_Castiel __Collin __& __Michael __McKnight. __Must __be __something __personal._ Dean thought. He remembered the full names of the two _lovers_. His brow furrowed slightly as he felt something gripping his chest tight. He felt his stomach do a somersault inside him while his lungs seemed to have stopped functioning. He really has no idea how he could fall that quickly for someone—and fall very, very deeply too. Everything was really new to Dean. All that jealousy, pain, joy and love he felt whenever Castiel's around scares him. The feelings were foreign still he knew it very well. He really _is_ very in love with him.

He would have read the book but ordered himself not to. He knew invading Castiel's privacy would make things worse. On the bright side, he has a reason to see Castiel. Maybe he could drop it off at the University the next day. All he has to do is ask Balthazar what time the said man will be free.

He got out of the car and into his apartment with the book in his hand. After he has dropped his keys on the counter, he took out his phone and called Balthazar. Four or five rings later, someone picked up.

"_Hello?_" came a husky voice.

"Um, Balthazar?" he asked hesitantly.

"_Yes. __Who__'__s __this?_" he choked out, panting a little. _Huh. __That__'__s __weird._ Dean thought.

"Um, it's Dean."

"_Oh, __Dean. __What__'__s __wrong?_"

"_Who__'__s __Dean?_" another voice from the line asked; a male's voice. Dean's brows furrowed. _Awkward._

"_A __friend._" Now the voice came from Balthazar, talking to the unknown voice.

"Um..." Dean started and cleared his throat before he continued. "Is this a bad time?" he asked, brows furrowing deeper.

A moan that sounded like a groan answered him. "_Oh __god._" Balthazar. Dean shut his eyes tightly, doing his best to delete the mental image that has popped into his head. He can't believe Balthazar would answer his phone while doing something unnecessary and not excuse himself from his companion. "_Wait._" He panted. "_I __need __to __talk __to __Dean, __okay?_" a small sound of mouths smacking on each other was heard; Dean's biting his lip now, trying to keep his composure. "_Hello, __Dean. __Are __you __still __there?_"

"Y-yeah." He choked.

"_I__'__m __sorry __you __had __to __hear __that. __So, __what __do __you __need?_"

"Um, I just want to ask what time Castiel will be free tomorrow. It seemed he dropped something in my car."

"_He__'__s __got __a __whole __day._"

"Excuse me?"

"_It__'__s __his __day __off __tomorrow. __You __can __drop __it __off __tomorrow __morning __in __the __apartment._"

"Huh."

"_What?_"

"Nothing. It's just... He didn't say anything about having a day off tomorrow."

"_Did __you __even __ask __him?_"

"No." He replied quietly, feeling a little ashamed for a reason not known to him.

"_Well, __now __you __know. __I__'__ll __text __you __about __our __address __so __you__'__ll __know __where __to __go __to __return __it __to __him __personally._"

"No need. I know how to get there."

"_Wha__—__?__Oh. __So __you __took __him __home._"

"Yep; hence the 'dropping of his book in my car' thing."

"_Okay __then. __Just __take __it __to __him; __he__'__ll __be __home __all __day. __Also, __um, __Dean, __I__'__m __kind __of __busy __so..._" he trailed off. He really did not have to elaborate, Dean gets it.

"Okay. Thanks a lot." He said with a smile and hung up.

He sighed and ran his hand on his face. He took the book again and looked at it. He really, really wants to see what's inside but went against it.

After some more contemplating, he went to his room and placed the book on his desk. He removed his clothes and threw them into the basket. He wrapped a towel around his waist rummaged into his pile of clothes to get a black undershirt and a pair of black boxers and went straight to the shower.

He stayed in the shower for a long hour, doing his best to relax. He knew Castiel might not want to face him tomorrow but he really wants to see the said man.

Castiel is slowly becoming a drug to him—a highly addictive one. He feels weird whenever the guy's around but he feels lost without him. He gets all dizzy when he sees the man smiling but pain runs through his chest when he sees the man unhappy. His lungs seem to stop functioning whenever those intense blue eyes lock on his green ones but his heart seemed to stop pumping blood everytime those blue eyes pays attention to someone else.

Whether this addiction is healthy or not, he couldn't care less. All he wants is Castiel and Castiel alone.

He inhaled deeply and turned the shower off. He dried himself and put on his boxers and slipped his shirt over his head and down his body. It's still early and Dr. Sexy M.D. will be starting any time soon. But, he felt tired and simply went to bed.

As he lay in bed, he turned his head to the side to glance at his desk and see Castiel's book. He reluctantly took it but didn't open it. He just let it lay beside his head. His fingers lazily traced patterns on the said book until he fell into a deep slumber all of a sudden; thoughts of the blue eyed, man still running in his head.

===3==

_"Bed." Dean heard Castiel's voice whisper but he knew he wasn't talking to him. Slowly, he saw Castiel's image sitting on the lap of a man with dark brown hair—any darker and it'll have the same dark shade of Castiel's. Their foreheads were touching while the man with dark brown hair has his hands on Castiel's waist._

_The man with dark brown hair seemed to be bigger than Castiel but almost just as big as Dean—muscle wise of course. His hair was quite neat on his head. He seemed to have beautiful chocolate brown eyes—Dean couldn't really tell from their distance. He also wore a simple shirt and sweatpants that fit him perfectly, making him extremely beautiful even in the simple clothing._

_Castiel on the other hand wore slightly loose jeans. He was barefooted like the other guy. He wore a simple black shirt that fit his body, showing his beautiful muscles._

_With the way Castiel looked at the man he was sitting on, Dean concluded that that guy must be Michael—Castiel's first love and first boyfriend and supposedly soon to be husband._

_Dean can see the curiosity in Michael's face at Castiel's words. He saw Castiel manoeuvre Michael's hands on his waist, slipping them under his shirt, smiling smugly down at the man. He saw Michael's head shoot up with a spark of hope. He can see Castiel's raised eyebrow and seductive grin; seemingly challenging Michael. He saw how Michael's face lit up in realization._

_Dean saw Michael slowly stand up and support Castiel's weight while the other man wrapped his legs around his hips. He saw them attack each other's mouth passionately and can't help feeling out of air. Even so, he followed them to Michael's room and saw that they were both naked already; Michael on top of Castiel._

_He can see Michael's hesitation to get inside of Castiel and knew that Castiel can feel that too. He saw the man underneath pull back a little._

_"What's wrong?" he heard a deep sweet tenor like voice. Michael. He decided._

_"Don't hesitate." He heard the reply from Castiel; need, lust, desire and love were swirling in that voice of his. He knew Castiel really wanted it with Michael. He knew Castiel trusts Michael a lot. He saw Michael smile before attacking Castiel's lips once more._

_He can see Michael slowly lowering himself, getting inside of Castiel. They both moaned as Michael sank deeper. When Michael was fully inside of Castiel and Castiel got comfortable with Michael inside him, Michael rocked a little back—thrusting out—and went back down. He kept on thrusting in a slow phase, making sure Castiel won't get hurt._

_He heard Castiel moan loud and hear Michael's shaky breath as he thrust in and out of Castiel._

_He felt his chest clench once more; this time though, his stomach betrayed him as well and flipped inside him. He can't stand to watch the scene anymore but can't seem to take his eyes off as well. Another thing Dean can't figure out why. He just stood there and let the scene play._

_As he watched them have sex—two of them switching positions, Castiel getting inside of Michael—his lungs started to fail him next. He seemed to be out of air. He just can't breathe. At first, it just felt like his breath being caught. But, he literally can't breathe at the moment. He just can't. As if there was no air for him to inhale at all._

_The last thing he saw were Castiel and Michael playing with their hands and trace lazy patterns on each other._

===3==

Dean woke up with a loud gasp. He was panting and sweating when he woke up. He can't remember why he just shot up like that. He doesn't know if it was a sound coming from outside or because he had a nightmare. Since it was very quiet outside, he thought maybe it was a nightmare. His eyes fluttered close and thought hard about the dream that woke him up.

_Dream, __dream, __dream. __What __is __it __that __I__'__m __missing_? He thought for himself. He simply doesn't remember his dream. He doesn't remember what was in that dream that made him wake up with a gasp.

He thought for almost an hour before he let it go. He laid himself back to bed, turned to his left and saw Castiel's book. He lifted it up and absentmindedly opened it on one page. On that page, he saw a photo of Castiel and Michael, asleep on a coach in each other's arms—high angle. Castiel was lying on top of Michael and has his head nuzzled against the other man's. His hand was lying on the Michael's chest while the said man's arm was wrapped around his waist. They looked so peaceful in their sleep.

Dean's brows furrowed and studied the photo a little. Michael was shirtless while Castiel's shirt has two, three or four buttons down. But, as soon as he realized what he was doing, he shut the book and hastily put it on his desk for the second time.

He sighed heavily and shut his eyes; hoping—praying—for sleep to dawn over him once more and take him into a dreamless night.


	8. The Move

**By Chance**

_**The Move...**_

===3==

Castiel woke up being shook by Balthazar. "Ugh! Go away!" he slurred as he waved his hand left and right, trying to shoo his friend away. He doesn't really want to be disturbed after having another night of depression and self pity. He doesn't even have classes today.

"It's important Cassy! Wake up!"

"What is so important than giving me more time to rest? Now, don't make me ask again, get out!" he grunted as he pulled his pillow over his head.

"But Cassy!"

"I said get out! My head hurts, my eyes are sore and I just finished a round of self pity and a whole lot of depression last night. Now, if you don't want your life to be ended by me, I suggest you leave me alone to put my life back together and wait until I wake up again. By then you'll have the very cheerful Castiel back. Understood?"

"No." A deep low voice said. It was a voice that was very familiar to him but couldn't exactly put his finger on it. _Who __has __that __kind __of __voice?_ He asked himself.

"Dean's here to see you." Balthazar filled in. _Oh, right, Dean; the man that seemed to have fallen in love at first sight with me. That was his voice that has just filled the room. Great! Just great!_

"Sorry Dean, I'm dead right now. Not exactly the person you would dare to talk with at the moment." He mumbled under the pillow.

"Cassy!" Balthazar interjected.

"What!" he grunted as a response.

"That's just rude!" he scolded Castiel, "I'm very sorry Dean, Cassy isn't exactly... Cassy right now."

"Geez! Stop being my _mother_Balthazar. What do you want me to do, lie to him right in front of him? Now _that_**,** is rude." He replied and sighed heavily, not removing the pillow on his head.

Balthazar snatched his pillow away. "Hey!" Castiel started to retort.

"_Castiel Angelo Collin_, stand the hell up and entertain your visitor!" Balthazar's words were very firm when he uses that tone. Castiel knew very well not to talk back when Balthazar's acting up as his _mother_... okay, acting up as his father.

Castiel reluctantly sat up with a frown, catching a glimpse of Dean at door with an apologetic look on his face. "Give me my pillow back." He mumbled. Balthazar raised one brow. "That's my favourite pillow, it has..." he trailed off and looked down at his hands, knowing that his friend understood the next words that would come out. Balthazar simply sighed and gave him back his pillow.

"I have class at ten so I'll be leaving the two of you here." He said as he got up from _Castiel__'__s_ bed and headed out of the room. He took his coat and got in it, took his bag and slung it over his shoulder as he got out of the apartment and shut the door behind him. Dean was now alone with Castiel.

"What do you want?" Castiel asked, annoyed, as he flopped back down the bed, putting the pillow over his head once more.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he slowly strode to Castiel's bed, "Uh..."

"Ugh!" Castiel interjected with a grunt, "There you go with your '_Uh._'! Why are you so tensed around me? Yes I'm very grumpy right now but I am not going to eat you! Understood?"

"Um, yeah." He responded quickly.

"Now, what do you want? I need to sleep again; I'm not exactly feeling well."

"I came here to give you your book back."

"What book?" he mumbled.

"The black one."

He removed the pillow off his head and sat up with a frown. Dean was holding his journal; his journal where he wrote all things Michael in. His eyes widened in horror while Dean's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Did you read it?" he asked in a low muffled voice.

"No." _But I did open it and saw a photo._ He thought after responding. Technically, there was no _reading_ involved.

Castiel sighed with relief as he got out of bed and took it from Dean's hand. He put it in the drawer beside the bed. He placed his hands on his hips as he turned to face Dean and glared at him.

"Why didn't you just give it to Balthazar?" he asked angrily.

"Because Balthazar insisted on giving it to you myself."

Castiel sighed heavily, dropped his hands on his sides, bit his lips and glared at the ceiling above him. "That son of a! Damn it!" he said and sighed heavily. He put his attention back to Dean who found the floor very fascinating and was shuffling uncontrollably from where he stood. He did his best to soften up and composed himself. He inhaled deeply and bit his bottom lip. Maybe he really was a little rude towards Dean a while ago. "Well, since you're already here, I might as well give you something to drink. What do you want, coffee, hot chocolate or juice?"

"Uh, no need. That's all I came here for anyway. I might as well give you some time to rest today." He said shyly and slowly turned away until he heard Castiel sigh heavily; he just had to look back.

"Just have some coffee, okay? In more ways than one, Balthazar was right. You are _my_ guest at the moment." He said and smiled fondly at Dean. Dean simply nodded, accepting the offer.

===3==

Castiel started making coffee while Dean waited in the living room. The place was nice and spacious. Dean's heart rate tripled in an instant. His hands were sweating and his lungs don't seem to function well. He bit his lower lip as he jerked his knees up and down with the help of his legs. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he looked around the room.

Castiel came in with one cup of coffee in one hand and hot chocolate on the other. He paused and raised his brows as he saw Dean shaking. He continued to walk to Dean after a while and placed the mug of coffee in front of Dean and sat beside him lifting his feet on the sofa and crossing them over the other. He blew on his mug of hot chocolate softly and slowly sipped a little. Dean took his coffee and did the same thing. Good thing Castiel only filled half of the mug or it would've spilled all over due to Dean's shaking hand.

"Dean," he mumbled as he looked at Dean. Dean jumped a little but managed to keep himself composed. "Stop shaking. I'm not going to hurt you or whatever." He said as he took another sip of his drink.

"You're not...mad?" Dean mumbled, slowly taking a sip of his coffee.

"Mad about what?"

"You know. What _I_ did?"

"Oh. That." He replied quietly, taking his gaze away from Dean. He bit his lower lip and rolled his shoulders back a little. He contemplated for a while before he looked back at Dean with a half-hearted smile. "Nah. Although I really would have appreciated a little heads up last night. And hopefully you _won__'__t_ do that again. Kind of freaked me out." He finished with a shrug.

Dean sighed softly and slowly put his coffee back on the table and faced Castiel; arms hanging over the sofa. He bit his lip and sighed softly, letting his eyes wander around the round. He wet his lips and shifted a little as he put his gaze back on Castiel. _Might as well go for it even though I got a pretty good idea about his response._

Castiel tilted his head and furrowed his brows, looking directly at Dean's eyes, wondering what Dean wants to say. Sure, he has some ideas of what's going on with the other man's head but he kept on hoping he was wrong.

Dean started to open his mouth when the door flew open, revealing an exhausted Gabriel. "Hello little bro!" he said cheerfully but not cheerful enough to be truly Gabriel. He slowly strode to his brother and saw Dean sitting in front of his little brother. Castiel looked at his brother and raised his brows, lips touching the brim of his mug. "Who's he?" he asked after looking back at Dean who has his back in front of him. Dean simply froze there.

"Dean. Sam's brother. Dean, this is my brother, Gabriel. I'm sure you know him."

Dean reluctantly turned to face a very confused Gabriel. "Hi." Gabriel tilted his head and frowned a little. He stared directly into Dean's eyes, as if there are answers written in them. Slowly, Gabriel's face softened and smiled at Dean.

"Hello Dean, very nice to finally meet you! I assume you know I'll be dating your little brother."

"Yeah." He breathes out. "Sammy just kept on talking about you. He's unstoppable even though you two just met the other night." He replied with a weak grin.

"Actually, no. I knew him from a hospital a little way back but we weren't really interested with each other back then." He shrugged. "I was taking up my final intern to graduate and finally become a doctor while your brother was a nurse taking up his master's degree. We became friends but eventually grew apart after I graduated and transferred to another hospital."

"How come Sammy never said that?"

"Psh! Details! They are of no importance anyway. What's important is _now_. We're trying to be together and that's all that matters." Gabriel replied, followed by a silence; not awkward.

"Okay."Castiel started, breaking the silence that has wrapped around them. "I'm going to go back to sleep again. My head really hurts a lot." He said, standing up and heading for the kitchen to put his mug in the sink. Gabriel followed his brother to check up on him.

"Are you sick Castiel?" he asked worriedly as his brother faced him.

"No. My head just hurts, that's all."

Gabriel was silent for a while, studying his little brother. Understanding dawned upon him, knowing what exactly was wrong. He sighed and let his gaze fall on the floor. He licked his lips before he looked back at Castiel. "Go to sleep. I'll take care of Dean." He smiled at what his brother said and hugged him lightly before he went back to bed, nodding in Dean's direction as the man caught him on his way to his room.

Gabriel came out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice in his hands. He placed it down at the table and looked at Dean for a while with a fond smile as he sat down beside him.

"Is he okay?" Dean asked as Gabriel drank his juice. Gabriel simply smiled sadly at Dean and nodded.

"He just needs some rest, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He managed to choke out even though he knew it wasn't just rest that his brother needed. He knew that his brother needed someone to make him whole again.

"Well, I guess I'll take my leave then." Dean said as he slowly stood up and beamed at Gabriel. Gabriel stood up as well and smiled as him. "But, before I go, could you give this to Castiel?"

"Sure. What is it?" he replied as he took the piece of paper from Dean's hand—curiosity written all over his face.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and looked down on the floor. "Um, I _kinda_ want to take your brother on a real date tomorrow. Even though I'm pretty sure he'll reject me but it's worth a shot, right? Um, so, I'll pick him up from here at five o'clock in the afternoon." He said sheepishly and bit his bottom lip.

"Why didn't you just ask him a while ago?"

"Because you came crashing through the door." He replied, matter-of-factly, as he looked back at Gabriel.

"Right. Sorry about that." It was then Gabriel's turn to feel embarrassed. "Why can't you text him? I'm pretty sure you have his number after going out for lunch."

Dean blushed—realizing Gabriel also knew about their _lunch_—and bit his lower lip with a smile as he looked down on the floor. "I think it'll be sweeter if I wrote a note. It has more _emotions_ and all." He finished, looking back at Gabriel; lips still bitten down by his teeth.

"Wow. You really dig my brother, don't you?" Dean simply shrugged sheepishly with a blush. Then, as if he only processed Gabriel's words just now, he started to open his mouth. "Balthazar." Gabriel interjected before he could speak, knowing what Dean's question would be.

"Oh." Was all he could think of as a response.

"Yeah. Oh."

"Um, I think I'd better go." He said with another sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his neck and then said goodbye to Gabriel as he was led to the door.

Gabriel shut the door behind him gently and leaned his back on it. He sighed a little and became thoughtful for a while. _Could Dean be the one to fix Castiel?_ He thought for a while, pondering on his options—whether he'll take a risk and help Dean get Castiel and possibly get his brother hurt again or simply let Castiel be himself and choose on his own. With all honesty, Gabriel didn't know what to do. He knew that somehow, Dean has attached himself to Castiel. But it doesn't seem enough to make him believe that having Dean—or any other person—with Castiel would be healthy for the man. He knew that Castiel would never let anyone into his heart at all because he has suffered enough. He knew Castiel didn't want history to repeat itself. He didn't want to be left alone anymore. But somehow, a very small part of Gabriel thinks that a chance should be given to Dean. He did seem to have good intentions towards Castiel. And besides, he has finally made the _move_ to get Castiel. All that he needs is a little help.


	9. Shooting Star

**By Chance**

_**Shooting Star...**_

===3==

"Why am I going again?" Castiel asked as he looked at himself in the mirror with a frown; checking his clothes if they look okay.

"Because, it would be rude of you not to." Gabriel said, going over to Castiel to fix his hair a little—given the fact that he's shorter and that Castiel's hair doesn't really comply without the use of gel.

"I know, but," he paused with a frown, thoughtful for a while, then looked away from his brother "I remember making it clear to him that I'm _not interested_ in him. So what's the point of going? Wouldn't it look like I'm leading him on?" he finished as he looked back to his brother.

Gabriel sighed due to Castiel's stubbornness. "Castiel. Just. Please." He said sternly, sounding the superior older brother that he is. Castiel sighed, knowing he really can't argue with authority figures. He can't even argue with Balthazar when he's giving him that voice. But there is no way he is giving up on the argument.

"But... he _kissed_ me."

"Yes, yes. On the cheek. You told me that for the hundredth time already. Just fix yourself. He'll be here any minute."

"Fine. But if he ends up wanting _something_ else, I'm going to kill you."

"Cas," Gabriel started and saw Castiel's expression start to change a little, "tiel," that seemed to do the trick, "Dean seems like a nice guy. I don't think he'll 'want something else', so don't be stubborn. And besides, Balthazar told me some _interesting things_ when Dean was with you guys at the bar a few nights back." He said teasingly, waggling his eyebrows at Castiel with a small smirk.

Castiel didn't understand what his brother was saying, instead, he tilted his head to the side while his brows furrowed. "What things?"

"Oh nothing. Some things that older brothers need to know." He replied with a wink. Before Castiel could respond, someone knocked at the door. "I'll get it!" Gabriel exclaimed. Castiel sighed and faced the mirror again; trying and failing to fix his hair. He let it go and went out of his room to see who just came.

Dean was sitting on the couch. He was wearing a white t-shirt under a dark gray coat. He wore dark jeans that fit snugly on him and black converse shoes. For a second there, Castiel thought Dean was actually stunning; but he erased the thought as quickly as it came; no way is he turning gay _again_.

Castiel on the other hand wore a black long sleeved shirt, two buttons were loose that almost showed off his firm chest. It was folded a quarter from his wrist. Black jeans that fit him just fine and black leather shoes made him look like a real life Adonis. His hair still looked a little out of place but no one would actually realize that, he simply looked _perfect_.

Dean turned his head to see Castiel standing there, looking stunning as always. His breath hitched at the sight of the man standing a few feet behind him. His jaw dropped as his eyes just kept on staring at Castiel. His heart felt like it ran a marathon while his stomach was flipped inside.

Castiel tilted his head on one side—a habit of his that Dean found attractive and extremely adorable—while his brows furrowed a little. Confusion was written all over his face as he searched Dean's face for answers. "Is there something on my face?" he finally asked.

It took a moment for Dean to realize that a question has been asked. "Uh," he started then cleared his throat the moment he realized he sounded weak, "No. You just... it's just... um..." he stammered, making Castiel furrow his brows deeper. "You look _amazing._" He finally finished.

"Thanks." Castiel shrugged. "You too." He said with a smile and with full sincerity. It was the first time he praised Dean and he wasn't lying at all. He really thought Dean looked great in those clothes.

"Well then," Dean started as he stood up, "shall we go?" he finished with a fond smile. Castiel simply nodded and led the way out of the apartment. After they got out, Dean led them to his car and opened the door for Castiel. Castiel raised an eyebrow at the act and Dean smiled sheepishly, ducking his head in the process. Castiel got in the passenger seat while Dean walked to the driver's seat.

Their drive was silent but not awkward. The car was filled with Dean's favourite rock music. Castiel wasn't a fan of rock but enjoyed what was playing anyway. Although he's more of a balladeer, listens to classical music and other mellow sounds, he learned to enjoy rock music because of Michael. He also learned how to play drums because of Michael.

Dean parked in front of a fancy restaurant. Castiel examined it carefully and realized that he has been there before with his brothers. The said restaurant was owned by a French man who was close to his oldest brother—Lucifer. After his brother's death, he swore to never return to that place. He felt a slight stab of pain in his chest but ignored it. He wanted things to go smoothly and definitely doesn't want Dean to see him weak.

"I'm not sure if you like French cuisine but I swear, they have _amazing_ food here. I eat here to loosen up every Saturday night." Dean said as he opened the passenger door for Castiel. Amazing was an understatement, for Castiel knew the _best_ food is in the said restaurant.

As they entered, he automatically spotted his brother's friend, Francois. The said man's attention was also caught by the appearing Castiel. The moment their eyes met, Castiel gave a small but fond smile while the other man smiled widely and walked straight to him—not realizing Castiel's company for the night.

"Castiel." He breathes into Castiel's neck as he pulled him into an embraced. Castiel wrapped his arms lightly around him in return.

"Hello." He replied.

Francois pulled away at arms' length and studied the young man carefully. Sadness was starting to resurface in his eyes and some sympathy. He knew Castiel took it the hardest after Lucifer died. He pulled him in for another swift hug before he finally let him go.

"You've grown a lot. I almost didn't recognize you if not for your blue eyes. How are you?" he asked.

"I'm good. You? How's the business going?"

"Well, busy; as always. How's Gabriel?"

"He's okay too. He's finally a surgeon, by the way."

"Good! Good for him." he said and suddenly pause upon realizing that there was a man standing beside Castiel. "Oh, I'm sorry sir. I, uh... it's just that this kid is a friend. I'm really sorry Mr. Winchester. You have reserved for two for tonight, am I correct?" he said to Dean which made Castiel chuckle a little upon seeing his friend's professional side and left his friend being confused.

"Francois, this is Dean. A _friend_ of mine. Dean, Francois, Lucifer's friend and a brother to me. In a way." He finished with a smile. The two men shook hand and Francois took the two of them to their table. Francois noticed the slight difference in Castiel and saw something in Dean's eyes automatically after they were settled in their seats. He smiled knowingly at Castiel even though he knew that Castiel wouldn't exactly understand and left to take care of their order.

The dinner went quite better than Castiel has expected. They simply talked to each other and shared different thoughts. At some point, Francois sat with them and had some fun time. Castiel excused himself, having the need to go to the wash room. Francois on the other hand took it as an opportunity to study Dean more and see for himself if Dean deserved Castiel—after talking to them for about an hour, he knew what he saw in Dean's eyes was a spark of love for Castiel waiting to turn into a flame.

"So, how did you meet Castiel?" he asked.

"Um, in a bar, two nights ago."

"You met in a bar?" he asked, Dean nodded, "Two nights ago?" another nod from Dean, "And you're here with him, on a... date?" Dean blushed and looked away. He bit his lip as he let go of a small nod. "What did you see in him?" he asked—which is obviously a test for Dean.

Dean looked back at him after the question has been said. Yes, what did he see in Castiel? His blue eyes? Maybe. His unruly hair that you'd like your fingers to run through while kissing him? Perhaps. His beautiful pink lips that you'd die for to kiss? Hmm. But if he was being honest, he doesn't really know. Castiel simply pulls him in, acting like gravity that keeps him at arms' length.

"To be honest, I don't really know. The moment I saw him enter, I just can't take my eyes off of him and all I want to do is get near him. I honestly don't know." Dean shook his head and sighed heavily, staring intently at the table in front of him. "He's like... gravity that makes sure I'm right where he wants me to be. That there's no way I'm getting away from him even if someone tries to take me away from him, it felt like, even if I try to fly away, it's just him that I would want to land on to." He looked back at the man sitting with him before who became thoughtful and continued. "But at times, he also felt like a safe place for me, like I know nothing could go wrong just by his presence. Like he's... this _angel..._ guarding me...ready to protect me or whatever. I don't know." He finished as he looked back down at the table and sighed.

Francois was simply speechless. It wasn't what he wanted to hear neither was it what he expected to hear. It was _better_. He thought Dean would say what other people say that they think it's the eyes that they liked about someone, their personality, their beautiful smile or whatever. Dean has said something beyond what can be actually comprehended by other people. Dean has said something very meaningful and true. There was only one person that he knew would speak of Castiel in that manner and that would be Michael (okay, maybe two people because even Balthazar spoke in that manner. He knew both men had feelings for Castiel).

It is true that Castiel hasn't been back in that restaurant after Lucifer's death but Michael, Balthazar and Gabriel kept in touch with him for a while until they lost each others number. When he asked Michael what he saw in Castiel, what made him love Castiel, he said that he didn't know. All he knew is that being with Castiel makes him feel safe but protective at the same time. He felt like Castiel is someone who needs to be protected—emotionally of course—but at the same time a man that gives him great comfort and safety; like nothing would go wrong with him simply being there. Balthazar started off the same, not knowing what made him love Castiel. He said that Castiel was like the night to him, the one part of the day that he can simply relax. It felt like being able to know who he really is and appreciate everything he has by the end of the day.

"Wow." He breathes out and cleared his throat, "I'm glad that's how you see the young man."

Dean simply shrugged like it was no big deal but wasn't able to mask the fear he has, which Francois immediately read.

"What are you afraid of?" Francois asked when Dean didn't meet his gaze.

"I guess I'm just scared to get hurt. It's just, this is the first time I've felt this way for someone. And that's really scary as hell. And, just to make things worse, Castiel is straight and made it clear that he's _not interested_ in me." He said with a sigh and smiled half-heartedly at Francois.

"Well, give him some time. It took him a long while to accept the fact that he wanted Michael." Was the confident and assuring reply he gave Dean.

Dean was about to respond when Castiel came back. He looked at the two men with a quizzical look. Francois simply smiled fondly and stood up. He clapped his hand on Castiel's shoulder and hugged him once more.

"Well, I am going back to work. Enjoy the rest of the night fellas." He said and winked at Dean. Dean smiled at the gesture, realizing just now that the question was meant to be a test and that he passed.

"Well, let's go. There's another place that I'll be taking you." He grinned widely at Castiel. Castiel simply looked confused as they went out to get to the car.

The drive was short and soon they were in a field. Dean went to the backseat to take out something. He pulled out a blanket, a plastic bag with some junk food and two bottles of beer. Castiel voluntarily took the plastic bag and the two bottles to let Dean spread the blanket down. He sat down and took the food and drinks from Castiel's hands, settled them down on the ground and patted the space next to him, inviting Castiel to sit.

Castiel took the offer and laid on his back; one hand under his head while the other rests on his stomach. He stared at the sky above him, taking in the beauty of the scattered lights. Dean passed him the bottle of beer and he propped up on his elbows.

"The sky's beautiful." Castiel whispered with a smile, without taking his eyes off the sky.

Dean smiled at Castiel's words, knowing that the other man is enjoying this night as much as he does. "It's about to get better." He said and caught Castiel's attention. Castiel looked at him with confusion but he simply smiled and looked back up in the sky. Castiel did the same after deciding to let it go. A few minutes later, a shooting star was witnessed. Castiel suddenly sat up. A few more stars came falling down and Castiel realized that it's a meteor shower.

"I know it's not exactly a shooting star, you know, the one you could wish into but... if you have any wish, you can do it now. Just make sure that no one'll get hurt." Dean broke the silence, trying to joke and saying things that are awkward to his ears.

"Nah. I don't want a wish and end up being disappointed for not getting it." He said with a sad smile on his face. He didn't believe in anything anymore except that there's this incredible being playing him.

"Well, it's still worth a shot." Dean shrug as he looked back up, wishing a happy life for Sam and him and of course, a life with Castiel. He inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly, smiling fondly by himself, imagining that life he has wished already. This gesture caught Castiel's attention and stared at Dean intently, burrowing his frows.

"What are you thinking?" Casiel finally asked. Dean looked back at him with a fond smile.

"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just... my wish and a... uh, a future. A future that I really wish to come true." He finished with a meaningful and fond smile. His eyes shine brightly under the moonlight.

"What is it?" Castiel asked with a smile starting to form on his beautiful face.

"Can't tell. My wish won't come true if I tell you." He said, smirking and winking at Castiel before he turned his head back up to the sky.

Castiel snorted at the retort but went back to looking at the sky with a smile. "You're gonna have to tell me eventually."

"Yeah. I'll tell you when the _right time_ comes."

They simply sat there in silence. Dean was subtly and unconsciously moving closer to Castiel. Their arms are now brushing on each other. Castiel didn't seem to notice this because he was too caught up with the sight of the beautiful night sky. As he watched the stars, he remembers Lucifer and Gabriel taking him out late one night on his fourth birthday when, his mother was still alive and his father not being MIA in their lives. They took off in the middle of the night to let Castiel experience the beauty of night and watch the sunrise together. He sighed heavily and caught Dean's attention.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at Castiel worriedly and realizing how close he was to the other man. Castiel sighed once more.

"Nothing, it's just..." He started and paused for a while. Then, he looked at Dean. He didn't realize until then that Dean has somehow moved closer to him. They were a few inches apart and if one of them lean closer, they could actually kiss. Whatever explanation he was about to say simply vanished. Both men's hearts were running wildly inside. Castiel's breath hitched and Dean simply froze; eyes looking back at Castiel's.

They simply stared at each other's eyes, searching. Dean wet his lips that were starting to dry and swallowed thickly. Ever so slightly and unconsciously, he leaned forward, getting closer to Castiel. Castiel was still sitting firmly, eyes not looking away. He knew what Dean was trying to do but his body seemed to have a mind of its own and stayed frozen. Dean's hand slowly went up to cup Castiel's face, his fingers touching the back of the said man's neck. Slowly, Castiel leaned as well; his hand moving to Dean's collarbone, the tip of his fingers resting on the other man's shoulder.

They're close, very, very close and nothing could stop what was about to happen anymore. They were now inhaling each other's breath. Castiel momentarily froze and Dean closed the very small distance—their lips holding each other in place. Their eyes fluttered close. The kiss started simply as their lips simply touching, but Dean parted his lips and so did Castiel. It went soft and slow and sweet. Slowly and gently, Dean pulled Castiel closer to deepen the kiss. Castiel's other hand fisted Dean's shirt. Soon enough, tongues were exploring mouths, soft moans were being heard and air was becoming necessary. They pulled away a little, panting slightly, foreheads touching.

As their eyes fluttered open, Castiel stiffen as soon as he realized what happened. He pulled back gently, pursed his lips and looked away. Dean froze for a while and realized that he made a mistake, making things awkward for Castiel.

"I..." Dean whispered.

"No. Um, I shouldn't have..." Castiel interjected but trailed off as he shook his head. He bit his lower lip and frowned. He then looked back at Dean who seemed to be spaced out. "Just take me home. Please." He finished as he stood up. Dean nodded and stood up as well. They gathered the stuff they have and put it back in the backseat of the Impala.


	10. Contemplation

**By Chance**

_**Contemplation...**_

===3==

Dean took Castiel home as he was asked. They drove in silence, neither trying to make a sound or form a conversation. The only sound present would be the sound of the Impala's machine working. Everything felt awkward as the two men were locked in that car.

Soon enough, they reached Castiel's apartment. They remained seated on their seats, waiting for something, anything, to happen. Dean was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel while Castiel chewed on his lower lip and played with his thumb that lay on his lap.

"Dean I..."

"Castiel I..." they said at the same time as they started to look at each other. Once again, they turned their heads and focused on something else. Both sighed at the same time. A few more minutes passed until Castiel thought now's a good time to talk.

"Dean, I'm... I'm sorry. That kiss earlier, it's _nothing_ to me. So, I'm sorry."

"No. It's my fault. Uh, I know you're _not interested_ in me and you prefer women so... I didn't mean to." He replied and sighed, eyes focused on his hands. "But it doesn't mean I regret it." He finished as he looked back at Castiel; eyes filled with hurt and sorrow but still filled with hope and love.

Castiel swallowed thickly while his breath hitched. It _kind of_ pained him to see Dean like that—hurt and seemingly lost. He looked away from Dean and focused on the road ahead. "I don't want to lead you on Dean, so just _stop_ whatever it is you're doing."

"I know you don't want me. But please, _let me want you_. I've never felt this way before. Just let me feel this... this thing for you." He pleaded, voice pained.

Castiel looked back at Dean. He pursed his lips as his brows furrowed, contemplating. "But you're going to get badly hurt. I'll just keep on fucking every random girl I see in a bar and you _won't_ have the right to get jealous or make me stop." He whispered. His eyes focused on Dean's, searching for something.

"I don't care." Dean whispered back. "I'm not going to stop you. I'll get jealous, yes, but I won't show it in front of you so you won't feel guilty."

"Dean..." he started and sighed. He wet his lips and thought of the right words to form. "You _deserve_ more than that, _more than this_. Are you really willing to risk your whole life when you could get married and be happy someday with someone who'll_ return_ those feelings?"

"I don't care what I _deserve_, I care about what I _want_. This is what I want, Castiel. Please don't take this away from me." Dean has made his point right then and there. Castiel can't take any more from Dean than what Dean has already given him. He's not that heartless and cold. Finally, he sighed and bit his lower lip, glancing down for a while and then looking back at Dean.

"Okay." He whispered weakly. He raised his hand to cup Dean's face. The other man leaned in to the touch as small circles were rubbed on his cheeks. "I guess this is all I could give to you." He whispered and leaned towards Dean, his lips catching the other man's.

Dean gasped and slowly sighed, opening his mouth. Castiel slid his tongue into his mouth as he opened it. He licked and sucked Dean's mouth, tasting him and letting the other man taste him in return. Dean fisted Castiel's hair, pulling him closer. Castiel kissed him hungrily, like has never kissed anyone after Michael's death. The kiss he was giving Dean was more of an apology to him. He's apologizing that he can't find the heart to return the other man's feelings. But for Dean, that kiss was a gift, a gift that he will treasure until his last breath.

Both men are running out of air but neither wanted to pull away. A very slight pull was given by Castiel as he caught his breath. But Dean had other ideas and followed Castiel's mouth, claiming it once more. Castiel let Dean claim his mouth; he can hold his breath for a long while anyway.

They stay seated in the car, simply kissing each other, for about half an hour. Castiel pulled away far enough for Dean not to be able to catch him. Both men were panting after that. Dean's eyes slowly fluttered open and saw Castiel staring at him. Castiel kissed Dean chastely for one last time and quickly got out of the car. He ran quickly into the apartment and went straight to his room.

After he has closed the door behind him, he leaned on it and slid down; sitting on the floor. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his elbows rested on them. He caged his head in his hands as he breathes heavily. His heart pounded like crazy and his mind was all whacked up. Feelings for Dean were building up quickly, feelings that he's been avoiding for a long time. And all it took was one kiss, one kiss and feelings that used to be buried somewhere deep inside him has been dug up, has drenched up back to the surface. Those feelings used to be for Michael; the feeling of safety, joy and love. Now they are resurfacing, ready to be given to someone, to someone named Dean.

Castiel looked up from where he was sitting and saw Michael's guitar in the corner. He reluctantly stood up and slowly went to the corner where the guitar rested. He picked it up and sat back down on the floor. Slowly, his fingers started forming chords and plucking the guitar, warming up a bit. He sighed and pursed his lips as he tried to remember the song that has been hidden all those years. Slowly, he formed the chords and strummed the strings, creating a beautiful sound from it. He continued playing the introduction before he started singing.

_What are these emotions_

_Flooding through my head?_

_Can't control it_

_Everytime you're near._

_I can't breathe._

_I can't relax_

_Everytime you smile at me_

_Then I see your eyes_

_That shine like the stars._

_Then my whole world stops_

_'Cause you started to speak._

_And I can't take_

_My eyes off of you_

_Even for a little while_

_Why am I messed up?_

_I'm just so fed up_

_With this new sensation_

_That I face alone_

_Could this be the one they call love?_

_And I don't know what to do._

_Could this be, I'm giving my heart to you?_

_To make or break._

He finished playing the song that never really seemed or felt finished. He wrote it after Balthazar confronted him about him having feelings for Michael. He just couldn't accept it but couldn't exactly deny the signs as well. He just picked up Michael's guitar one day and started playing and writing the song.

He doesn't know why but the song felt incomplete for him, after all those years. He felt that there were more words to be written for the song but couldn't exactly find them.

He sighed as he closed his eyes, guitar still in his arms. Images of Dean suddenly flowed through his mind but he didn't bother to push them away. He just let everything flow. Their first meeting, the look in Dean's eyes, the way he asked Castiel to lunch, the way his face lights up whenever Castiel smiles, the way they enjoyed each other's company, the way Dean fidgeted when he saw Castiel's anger, the way his jaw dropped seeing Castiel, the night they shared and that _kiss_; that one kiss that said so much.

All of a sudden, his hands started moving once more, continuing the abandoned song. He started to sing as well, making the song feel more complete.

_Why are you still here?_

_Thought I said no._

_Are you still hoping?_

_Don't know why but I'm glad_

_That you want me._

_Guess I want you too;_

_Wanted you for so long._

_Why am I messed up?_

_I'm just so fed up_

_With this new sensation_

_That I face alone_

_Could this be the one they call love?_

_And I don't know what to do._

_Could this be, I'm giving my heart to you?_

_To make or break._

_When I'm ready_

_I'll give my heart to you._

_But for now_

_I hope you'll wait for me_

_'Cause this heart's so afraid to break for the second time around_

_Could this be the one they call love?_

_And I don't know what to do._

_Could this be, I'm giving my heart to you?_

_To make or break..._

Slowly, he opened his eyes once more. Now the song feels complete. That very song spoke the whole truth about Castiel's emotions—even though he doesn't know them himself.

He reluctantly stood up and put the guitar back to its place. He sighed once more and removed his shoes and socks, putting them neatly beside the door. He then removed his shirt and his jeans. He went to the bathroom, washed his face and brushed his teeth before he climbed to his bed.

He hates to admit it, but somehow, he felt willing to try it with Dean. But knowing how stubborn our Castiel is, he simply won't. He'd ignore everything that his heart tells him. He'd ignore all the words that just came out of his mouth through the song. He'd ignore _Dean's feelings_ for him.

Let's just hope Dean will _wait_ for Castiel...

===3==

Dean drove slowly to his apartment; Castiel's taste still lingers in his mouth. The way their lips—mouths—locked still haunted his senses. He can still feel Castiel's lips on his'. He can still feel Castiel's tongue in his mouth. He can still hear the soft moans they released. He can still feel Castiel's hand on his head and face. He can still smell the scent that is so Castiel.

He bit his lower lip as he neared his apartment. He shut off the engine of the Impala and climbed out of it, gliding towards his door. He opened it and got in, going straight to his room after locking the door behind him. He took off his shoes and socks, slid off of his shirt and jeans and put on a clean undershirt. He brushed his teeth and washed his face. He went to his living room, turning the TV on and flicking through the channels. No matter what came up, the only thing Dean sees was Castiel; his hair, his eyes, his nose and his lips; those perfectly soft, warm lips. His eyes slowly fluttered close as he released a slow soft sigh. He raised a hand slowly and ran it on his lips. He just can't shake the feeling of Castiel's lips on his' off.

Time passed quickly. After trying and failing at attempting to watch television, he went to bed. He just stared at the ceiling; one hand under his head, the other on his stomach. He sighed and turned to his side. Suddenly, he can see two beautiful blue eyes staring at him fondly. Absentmindedly, he reached out to touch the other man's face until reality hit him. And just like that, the blue eyes vanished.

"Shit!" he muttered, lying on his back once more. "What the hell is wrong with you Winchester? He's out of your league, damn it!" he muttered angrily as he shut his eyes tight, hoping to fall asleep. He kept on turning and shifting on his bed until he gave up and looked at his alarm clock. An hour and a half has passed and he just can't sleep at all. He sighed heavily and got out of bed. He paced around the room until he gave up and took his notebook and a pen and sat down on the floor. He sighed and closed his eyes for a while, thinking. When he opened his eyes once more, he started to write everything he felt for Castiel.

_Blue Eyes_

_You came crashing through the door_

_and caught me off guard,_

_like a thief in the night._

_What are your intentions?_

_Fear and concern_

_are the least of my worries_

_for you pull me in,_

_like a child to a stranger._

_My mind knows the danger_

_the moment my feet dragged me to you._

_but then the shine of your eyes_

_makes me regret nothing._

_Those blue eyes that pale the colour of the sky,_

_makes my heart run out of my chest,_

_makes my lungs stop their function_

_and my eyes adore nothing else._

_Now,_

_I ask for nothing_

_but let my eyes adore you,_

_and my heart beat for you._

He finished writing with a sigh, read it for errors and closed the notebook after checking it. He put it back on his table and once again tried to sleep, being more successful this time around.

===3==

_"Hey Cas, watcha think about this?" Dean heard that familiar voice once more._ Michael_. He decided. A few more moments passed and the place he stood became clear. Apparently, he's standing once again in Castiel and Balthazar's apartment. He can see Castiel sitting on the couch pouting a little as he stared at the box of CDs in front of him; his legs were crossed on top of the other. Michael on the other hand was kneeling in front of the TV holding a CD case._

_Castiel looked up at Michael who was holding a Saw III movie. Castiel scowled at Michael. "You know that movie freaks me out."_

_Michael smiled at him sheepishly and smugly at the same time. "That's the point. So that we'll do more cuddling rather than actually watching." He finished his sentence as he bit his lower lip._

_Castiel snorted, shook his head as he bit down his lower lip as well. "You are too much of a girl, do you know that?"_

_"I know. But I also know you love that about me." He heard Castiel chuckle at Michael's retort while the said man stood up. He walked to Castiel and trapped the other man by putting both his arms on the sides of the couch. He grinned and leaned down to kiss Castiel chastely. Both were smiling when they parted. "Seriously Cas, I love that movie because you couldn't let me go while we watch it and you kept your head buried on my chest." He heard Michael whisper sweetly; teasing still evident in his tone._

_"Fine. But don't get mad at me the moment you get a bruise because I cling on to you too tightly." He heard him reply, sounding confident and threatening at the same time. He can see Michael slowly leaning down once more for another chaste kiss._

_"When have I ever been mad at you? With those beautiful blue eyes that can look like a kicked puppy?"_

_"I love it when these puppy eyes of mine work like a charm on you." He heard Castiel say smugly but still filled with fondness and slowly pulled Michael for another kiss before he pushed the other man away to start the movie._

_Dean simply stood in one corner, watching the scene play before his eyes. They looked so sweet and content with each other. Halfway through the movie, Castiel was now hugging Michael tightly as he watched the movie intently; fear was evident in his eyes. Dean can see Michael watch Castiel with fondness, loving the way the younger man held tightly to him. Ever so slightly, Dean saw Michael raise his free hand to reach out for Castiel's face. He cupped the younger man's face and tugged it a little to turn his face._

_"What?" He heard Castiel ask the older man, a little confused but flushed at the same time. He saw Michael simply smile and lean to kiss Castiel. It was soft and chaste at first but slowly deepened and became passionate. Castiel's arms are now wrapped around Michael's neck while Michael's remained to where they were before._

_Dean just stood there and watched them as the movie they were supposed to be watching came to an end. Slowly, Michael pushed Castiel down the couch, putting him on top of the other man. Things were starting to get heated as Michael slowly moved his lips to Castiel's jaw, going down to his neck._

_"Mike..." Dean heard Castiel moan. "Mike." He said more firmly. He saw Michael reluctantly pull away and pull Castiel up as well. "I'm sorry." He whispered._

_"It's not your fault Cas. You've never been with a man. I'll wait." Michael said fondly with a smile and leaned down to kiss Castiel chastely. "Come on. Let's go to bed." He said as he stood up and tried to pull Castiel up but failed. He frowned down at the younger man and let his hands drop._

_Dean saw Castiel do the puppy eyes at Michael with a pout, arms raised in a child-like way. "Carry me?" Dean found Castiel's words and actions a little too amusing and smiled a little; Castiel pouted a little more._

_"C'mon Cas! You know I can't deny you with that face." Michael said, shutting his eyes tightly as he looked away. Dean saw Castiel bit his lip to stop a laugh from erupting. Right then and there, he just wanted to go to him and kiss him. He can see the glow in Castiel that was trying its best to be hidden._

_"Miiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeee." Castiel whined, making Dean chuckle a little, hearing that usually serious tone turn into a childish one._

_"Caaaassss." Michael whined back, looking back at Castiel with a grimace. Castiel raised puppy eyes level one to level two. "Damn it." He muttered under his breath as he picked Castiel up; bridal style._

_"Woah!" Castiel exclaimed with wide eyes, surprised at Michael suddenly carrying him that way. Dean stared at them in envy. He wanted to carry Castiel that way._

_"I'm doing you a favour here so don't complain about how I carry you." Michael said and nuzzled Castiel's nose with his own. Castiel gave a low chuckle._

_"How about the TV and the DVD player?" he asked as he eyed the TV._

_"I'll drop you to bed first then I'll clean up, m'kay?"_

_"Okay." He replied and buried his face at the crook of Michael's neck, closing his eyes at the same time, humming. Michael smiled to himself as he felt Castiel's sigh on his skin and walked to his room. Michael gently lay Castiel down on his bed and kissed him chastely before going back to the living room to clean up. After that's done, he made sure the door and windows are locked and went back to his bed._

_"Hey Cas." He whispered as he run his fingers gently on Castiel's face. Castiel hummed sleepily. "I love you." He whispered and kissed his cheek. Castiel hummed with a smile and shifted a little._

_"I love you too." He whispered back as Michael slowly got into bed with him, pulling him into his chest and wrapping his arms around his waist._

===3==

Dean woke up slowly to the sound of rain drops softly tapping on his window. He sighed and sat up, rubbing his hands on his face. He glanced at his alarm clock and saw that it was still early. He got out of bed to have something to drink. He vaguely remembers Castiel saying the words_ I love you too_ but doesn't know why and how he remembers Castiel say those words.

After satisfying his thirst, he went back to bed and fell into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN-IMPORTANT!<strong>_

_**Okay, so guys, the week after next week will be our preliminary exams and I badly need (and want) to pass so the next chapter will be totally delayed. As in, two or three weeks delayed. So, yeah, I've gotta focus with my studies. Please wait for me. :)**_

**_And, oh yeah, the song Cas sang, it's on youtube. Just type in 'could this be destiel' and the first video that comes out, that's it. but for ya'll to be sure that's mine, my username's alCjnth. Okay, thanks! :)_**


	11. Cas

**By Chance**

_**Cas...**_

===3==

"_Hi, Castiel. Um, it's me again, Dean, I'm not sure if you're awake or if you even bothered to listen to all my other voice mails, but I really wish you would just pick up. I'm really sorry about last night. Please, forgive me. And, I'm sorry if this is kind of pushing it, I wish… damn! I hope you'd still go to Sammy's birthday tonight. Sammy's just expecting you, that's all. I'm not going to pick you up anymore. I'll just let Gabe take you if you want. So, yeah. Bye._" That was the fourth call from Dean that Castiel ignored ever since he woke up and the sixth voice mail he's been listening to. Dean's voice sounded like he's about to reach breaking point. He sounded like a wreck and his voice falters badly. But, even though he sounded like that, hope is still present in it. He wanted to tell Dean not to get his hopes up but he just can't find the heart to call yet. He wasn't sure if he would like Dean to get hurt by being rejected again. He was just there, lying on his bed with his phone on his stomach, waiting for some courage to dawn upon him. But he felt caught in between two hard rocks, like whatever he does, he'll still end up hurting Dean; whether he keeps his distance from Dean or let him have his way and try and be friends.

Castiel let his eyes flutter shut as he sighed heavily. He just doesn't know what to do anymore. Things would be easier if he didn't feel responsible for Dean. He knew that if he hadn't given him that kiss in the car, Dean wouldn't be this frustrated. He also knew that he should've never agreed to the date the night before and to the lunch a few days back. Now he's here, frustrated, guilty and uncertain about his possible move.

Reluctantly, he slowly opened his eyes and grabbed his phone from his stomach. He started scrolling through the contacts and found Dean's number. He sighed heavily and hesitantly pressed the call button. He'll just have to go with Dean's way.

It took about two rings before Dean picked up. It seems like he's simply clutching his phone; waiting for Castiel to return his call or waiting for time to pass before he calls him again.

"_Hello? Castiel?_" Dean asked—voice hopeful and relieved at the same time.

"Yeah." He managed to choke out.

"_Um, I wanna say I'm sorry again for last night because—_"

"Dean. Please." Castiel cut him off immediately, staying away from that subject. He sighed heavily before continuing. "I'm still going to Sam's party. We can still do what was planned. Pick me up at six."

"_You sure you're okay with that?_" Dean asked reluctantly, voice still filled with hope.

"Yes, I am. You can just come in later if you want to."

"_Okay. Thanks. And I'm really—_"

"Dean! I told you already; don't."

"_I know. I just._" Dean paused and sighed lightly. "_I just want to know if you're still mad at me._"

Castiel remained silent and thoughtful for a while. He asked himself if he's mad at Dean or if he doesn't want to see the other man again. The more he thinks about it, the more he knows he's not mad. Shocked; a little. A little wrecked; yes. But mad? Hell no.

He sighed deeply before he answered. "Dean, I was never mad at you, okay? So please, drop the damn subject." He said through gritted teeth as he tried to control his temper.

"_Okay._" Dean said weekly, sounding like he's at the edge of breaking down. "_I'll pick you up at six as planned._" He whispered. Castiel started to feel some guilt but brushed it away. "_Bye._" He breathed out and hung up.

"Yeah. Bye." Castiel replied on his phone even though the line has been cut for a while now. He slowly brought his phone back on his stomach and shut his eyes; willing sleep to take over him even for just a while.

_Cashel! Cashel! C'mere! C'mere!" four year old Michael exclaimed from across the playground, gesturing for Castiel to come over._

_"What is it Michael?" a three and a half year old Castiel asked as he approached his friend._

_"Look! Look! They're pretty like you and Balthazar and mommy and daddy!" Michael exclaimed excitedly as he bounced up and down, holding a bunch of 'pretty rocks' in his little hands._

_"Oh yeah! Let's show 'em to Balthazar!" he replied enthusiastically as they ran to their friend who was playing on the swing a few feet away._

_"Balthazar! Balthazar!" the two boys exclaimed at the same time._

_"What is it Cassy and Mikey?" he asked when he stopped the swing when his friends reached him._

_"Don't call me Cassy!" Castiel scowled as he stomped one foot, folded his arms across his chest and pouted; displeased with the girlish nickname his friend addresses him. "It's a girl's name and I ain't a girl. I'm a boy!" he said and deepened the scowl and pouted his lips more._

_"But Cassy's cute just like you! Mikey isn't mad at me because I call him Mikey, right Mikey?" he asked the other boy, showing his puppy eyes involuntarily._

_"Yeah. Cassy's cute Cashel." Pronouncing the younger boy's name incorrectly and realizing his mistake. He scowled with his realization and looked at Castiel straight in the eye. "Your name's too hard to say." Michael replied helplessly; the rocks in his hands forgotten already._

_"Castiel ain't hard to say, is it?"_

_"It is." Balthazar replied. Castiel looked down on the ground and seemed to be having tears forming in his eyes._

_"I know!" Michael exclaimed excitedly, dropping the rocks from his hands to the ground as an idea dawned upon him. "We'll call ya Cas!"_

_"Cas?" both Balthazar and Castiel asked at the same time._

_"Yeah! It's easier to say." Michael replied with a big proud grin on his face._

_"Okay. At least it isn't girly like Cassy. Bleh!" Castiel said with a grimace, poking his tongue out with a mock disgust. Balthazar's bottom lip trembled a little as if he's about to cry but suppressed it due to Michael's gleeful face._

_"Okay then! You're Cas! I'm still Michael and you're still Balthazar!" he cried out and pointed to their friend. His grin faded slowly when he saw their mothers coming their way. He blinked a few times and his lips pouted slightly. "I think it's time to go home." He said, pointing at their approaching parents._

_"But we're not done playing." Castiel said, widening his blue eyes a little and pouting his lips._

_"I know. We'll just make 'em take us here again, right Balthazar?" Michael assured the younger boy with a big smile._

_"Yeah Cas. I'll tell mommy to take me to see you and Mikey or I'll be a bad boy." Balthazar seconded Michael to assure their young friend, placing his fist on his chest._

_Castiel's the youngest among the three of them. Michael's the oldest, followed by Balthazar who's a week younger and lastly Castiel who's about half a year younger than his two friends._

_"Okay." He replied weakly, feeling a little gloomy for going home, away from his immediate best friends._

_"Smile Cas! We'll always be here waiting for you." Michael said with a fond smile which made the younger boy blush a little and grin back widely; nodding his head up and down vigorously._

_"Castiel." His mom called. "Come on baby, daddy, Lucifer and Gabriel are waiting for us at home." His mom said with a fond smile, making the boy run to her excitedly and waved goodbye to his friends._

_"Mommy, call me Cas! Michael and Balthazar said they can't say my name right because it's hard." He said as his mom lifted him up to carry him in her arms. He wrapped his arms around her neck._

_"Okay baby. But for now, let's go home and give you bath, okay?" she asked._

_"Okay mommy." He replied and nuzzled her neck, sighing contentedly in the safety of his mother's arms._

"Cassy, wake up." He heard someone say as he was being gently shaken by his shoulders. "Cassy, Dean's already here. Have you even taken a bath?" the voice started to register first—Balthazar. The words slowly sank in and he shot right up.

"What? What time is it?" he asked, wide awake now.

"It's a quarter before six. Dean's waiting outside."

"Shit!" he exclaimed and jumped out of bed. He started rummaging through his clothes and found a clean pair of boxers and jeans. He was having a problem with a shirt though; those shirts were reserved for school. With a grunt, he gave up and started rummaging through Michael's clothes.

"Um, what are you doing?" Balthazar asked, realizing that those clothes belonged to Michael.

"Looking for clothes, you idiot." He muttered as a response and continued to look for a decent shirt. He found a dark grey v-neck shirt with sleeves that were cut a quarter from the wrists and a black leather vest that falls from the shoulder all the way down to the waist. He threw his clothes on his bed, grabbed his towel and ran out of his room to go to the bathroom. He paused upon spotting Dean in the living room looking at him with awe. "Sorry. Fell asleep. Shower. Then we're good." He said and started running again before Dean could respond. Dean just kept on staring at the place Castiel was standing a little while ago and shrugged.

Castiel took a shower quickly, dried himself up and wrapped the towel around his waist. He faced the bathroom mirror and ruffled his hair before going out. When he got out, Dean was the first person he saw who happened to be staring at him. He paused and studied Dean for a while, brows furrowing, head tilting to one side.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Dean swallowed thickly at the sight in front of him. Castiel's a very fit man. He has beautiful abs and a well toned chest. His biceps are not as big as body builders but still exposed well toned muscles. His body is simply beautiful and Dean can't find his voice to say anything. His face was starting to turn red but he just can't look away. Luckily, Balthazar came out, already dressed for the night's event, and pushed Castiel to his room to get ready for they might run late. Castiel on the other hand got distracted and forgot the question he asked and let Balthazar push him to his room.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Balthazar asked with a smirk after Castiel locked his room to change.

"Uh…" was all Dean could mutter. His face turned into a darker shade of red and looked away. Balthazar simply chuckled at Dean's reaction and let him be. He'll be there to tease Dean anyway.

Castiel finished changing quickly and let his hair do whatever it wanted to do. Balthazar frowned at his friend for not fixing his own hair.

"C'mere Cassy." Balthazar commanded and Castiel followed with a grunt. Balthazar made quick work with the younger man's hair and took time to appreciate his work. "Okay, all done. Come on." He said and pulled Castiel by the arm. Castiel in turn rolled his eyes but let himself be pulled by his friend.

When they got out and locked the door, Castiel sat in the backseat, leaving Balthazar no choice but to sit shotgun. Balthazar shook his head at Castiel's actions but let it go. Dean on the other hand felt relieved but hurt at the same time. He felt relieved because he'll be able to actually focus on the road but hurt because Castiel is still reluctant about him.

Castiel remained quiet all throughout the ride while Balthazar and Dean started to get to know each other. Balthazar talked about school stuff while Dean talked about the shop he owns. It took them about half an hour to get to Sam's apartment.

When they entered, Sam welcomed them with a big smile.

"Hi. You must be Castiel." Sam said as he looked at Castiel.

"Yeah. And this is Balthazar, my best friend." Replied Castiel with a smile as he gestured to his friend.

"I know. Um, we were together for a while." Sam replied with a blush and rubbed the back of his neck. Castiel let his jaw drop and so did Dean.

"Seriously?" both Dean and Castiel asked exasperatedly, pitch going up a few notes. Balthazar snorted while Sam raised his brows, wearing a face that says 'are these two for real?'

"Yeah. But we knew we'd go downhill from there and became good friends." Balthazar explained in Sam's behalf. "Never thought you'd go for Gabriel though. You two never showed interest in each other." He said, the statement now directed at Sam.

"Yeah, well. I never thought it was possible as well. I mean, he's now a doctor and I'm still finishing up medicine. I never thought he'd actually look at me." He replied with a blush.

"Wait. Why is it that you never mentioned Balthazar to me?" Dean asked his little—or younger because Sam isn't really little anymore—brother. "And you didn't even react when you saw him in the bar." Statement now directed at Balthazar. "You did see him, right?"

"Yep." Balthazar said simply.

"Yeah. You never mentioned Sam to me as well Balthazar." Castiel interjected.

"Hey. In my defense, Sam never mentioned his brother's name is Dean so we're all at lost here." Balthazar defended teasingly.

Castiel sighed and shook his head. He just can't believe his best friend's keeping secrets from him.

Dean had the same reaction, wondering why his brother kept something from him. He's even wondering what other stuff Sam kept from him.

Just then, Gabriel came and gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek which in turn made Sam blush and smile sheepishly. Gabriel studied the group and grinned widely, spotting his baby brother.

"Hey Cassy-boy." Gabriel teased which made Castiel grunted and rolled his eyes. He is really starting to hate that nickname all over again. How can it be so hard to say Castiel? It was bad enough that Balthazar still calls him Cassy now Gabriel did too on rare occasions.

"Gabe, when are you going to stop teasing me with that nickname? Balthazar's bad enough and now you're in it too?" Castiel scowled at his brother. Gabriel simply snorted. He loves making Castiel mad. At least Castiel feels something other than loneliness.

"So, you here _with_ Dean?" Gabriel asked. Dean paled a little, hoping Castiel wouldn't think of something else at the implication; hoping that Castiel wouldn't think that Dean told Gabriel about their kiss during their date and in the car after for Gabriel to imply that.

"Explain the phrase 'here with', Gabriel." Castiel replied.

"You know, as in, are you together, _together_?"

"In that case, _no_." he replied firmly, ending the discussion.

Castiel stayed by Balthazar's side while Dean kept his distance but followed them with his eyes. He saw Castiel with different women there. It made his stomach flip and his guts twist tightly. Castiel wears a sweet smile that made the women he talks to blush and giggle and squirm. He knew those women were flirting with him and he was flirting as well. His breathing was starting to get a little heavier and he looked like he was about to have a hard attack. But, as he promised Castiel, he wouldn't show him the jealousy he felt. He did his best to distract himself with other guests.

What is unknown to Dean is that Castiel was watching him as well. He glanced at Dean every now and then and watched him from the corner of his eyes, studying how the other man was reacting to his little flirting show.

"You should go to him, you know?" Balthazar whispered to his ear.

"What?" he asked, being truly confused to what his friend was trying to say.

"Go to Dean. He kept on looking at you and you kept on glancing at him." he said with a smirk which was accompanied by a wink.

"Am not." He hissed through gritted teeth.

"Just go Cassy. He looks terrible and you know it."

Castiel simply sighed and did go to Dean; whether it was doing as what he was asked to do or he just wanted Dean's company tonight. He thought perhaps it was the latter. He simply doesn't do as what he was asked unless it was a _direct order._

Dean was with Gabriel and Sam, talking about work. Dean looked for Castiel once more and was ecstatic to see the man himself approaching; he gave the advancing man a fond smile. Castiel returned the smile and got to where Dean, Sam and Gabriel were.

"_Cas_." Dean said out of the blue with a smile.

Castiel's face slowly changed; and so did Gabriel's. "What?" he whispered weakly.

"Um," Dean started as he tried to recall what he has said out of the blue. "_Cas_?"

Castiel's face started to get worse, eyes down on the ground and wide with shock and another emotion that's a mixture of everything else. Slowly, his body started to shake a little. His eyes were starting to glisten as the tears started to form.

"_Cas_?" Dean asked and slowly reached his hand out; concern filling his voice and eyes. Castiel moved back to dodge Dean's hand. The tears started to rush down his face and sobbed silently. His chest was rising and falling heavily, as if he couldn't breathe at all. Dozens of memories ran through his mind, making him ache for the first time after five years of acting numb and burying everything he held inside.

Balthazar, who was watching them from afar, saw Castiel's stiff position, Gabriel's terrified eyes, Dean's pained and concerned expression and Sam's curious gaze. He quickly went to them to find out what was wrong.

As he got there, he caught Gabriel's eyes and asked the man the silent question through his eyes. Gabriel glanced back at Castiel who was still crying silently, and wet his lips before looking back at Balthazar. The terror in his eyes grew more intense as he mouthed '_Cas_'.

Balthazar's eyes widened in realization. No one has ever called him Cas since the accident and that nickname is a very, very sensitive subject.

"Um, Cassy, let's go out for a while for some air, okay?" he said, placing his hands on Castiel's shoulders gently. Castiel flinched a little but relaxed to the ever so familiar touch and nodded out of instinct. Balthazar escorted him out, looking back at Gabriel with a knowing look.

"Well, let's give them a few minutes and I'll take my brother home for the night." He said nervously with a barely even there smile.

"What's wrong Gabe? Why did he cry?" Sam asked, concern filling his usually calm expression.

Gabriel sighed slowly and glanced down on the floor and pursed his lips before looking back at them. "No one has ever called him Cas after the accident."

"You mean?" Dean asked, knowing what Gabriel was talking about. Gabriel nodded as a response. "Why?"

"Because it's... a very sensitive thing for him."

"What do you mean?" this time, Sam asked.

Gabriel bit his bottom lip, thinking how to explain it to them. "Michael was the one who gave him Cas as a nickname."

"Okay?" Sam asked, hoping for a more elaborate explanation.

"It happened like this. After the accident and he actually got home, Michael's already buried and all, Castiel doesn't eat anything at all; for days. Yeah, occasionally, he drinks some water when we give him but that's it. He doesn't even sleep or try to get out of bed. He just sits there, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around him and he just keeps on staring straight ahead. At first I thought I should let him be for a while until he pulls his acts together. We never talked to him thinking he just needed the space and figure things out on his own." Gabriel started explaining and placed his fists on his hips as he bit his lips.

"But then," he continued, "that act of his went from bad to worse after a week; he locked himself in. I ran out of patience and just barged in, scolding him. The moment I said Cas, his whole expression went rigid, as if he has no control of himself anymore. When I said his name again, when I said Cas for a second time, he started crying. And at that very moment, I wanted to give up as well and just cry." He said weakly as he remembered how terrible his brother looked that time. "You have no idea how broken he was. I've never seen him cry that way before. He even suppressed his tears on Michael's burial." Gabriel's voice is now barely a whisper; eyes starting to glisten as the tears started to form.

Gabriel didn't exactly want to continue for his chest was starting to clench tightly. But the look on Dean's face made him want to continue. He took a calming breath before he continued. "We—Balthazar and I—forcefully took him to a shrink. Since he was too weak from crying, having no sleep or food, it was easy to take him there. After a few sessions, the doctor got him to open up a little. A few more sessions later, he was getting a little better and the doctor found out that the nickname's that big bomb that made him break, because it was Michael that gave that nickname to him. He finished the sessions and became a lot better. He started eating again, tried to form conversations, tried sleeping again and finished school from where he left. He became a professor and became really good at it. But I knew, even Balthazar knew that all of it was just an act. Balthazar and I never said anything but we did stop calling him Cas. It's like he's another person living in that body. He's Cas, but not exactly." Gabriel finished with a sad smile.

Dean stared at Gabriel and couldn't believe that he had hurt Castiel. "So I," he started weakly, "I made him break?" Dean choked out. Breathing was a little harder. It seemed to him that everything he did to get to Cas just pushed him away.

Gabriel nodded gently, apologetically and avoided Dean's gaze.

"I can't believe I just pushed him further away." He whispered, eyes glued on the ground.

"You didn't know." Gabriel said softly. He sighed to calm himself and did his best to bring back his composure. "Well, I think it's time for us to go home. Thanks Sammy, Dean." He nodded at the brothers and turned to meet his brother and Balthazar.

Dean just stared at the floor, tears starting to form in his eyes. He just couldn't believe that he has hurt the guy he _likes_ without even wanting to. He just hopes he could still have the courage to talk to him again.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Um, yeah. I know what I said in the previous chapter. But our preliminary examinations were moved to the 30th of January so that will be the time that I'll be totally, totally delayed. And, yeah, okay. I'll shut up now.<em>**


	12. When It Rains

**By Chance**

_**When it rains...**_

===3==

It has been three days since Castiel's sudden break down. He went back to the Castiel after Michael's death—the lifeless man who stopped caring about the world. Gabriel and Balthazar let him to it for a while and asked Dean to stay away for the meantime. Balthazar explained the situation to the university and the professors agreed to have a share on Castiel's classes, whoever is free for that certain time to help their friend. They also called for a shrink on that third day and had Castiel assessed. Castiel is less cooperative this time. He doesn't answer or even look at the person talking to him as if he wasn't hearing every word said or he was just too depressed to hear something.

They let two more days passed and the doctor returned to see Castiel's condition. The man's weaker but actually cooperated. Well, at first he did. But after the third visit yesterday, he locked his door and placed his drawer behind it, followed by his bed; to really prevent anyone from getting in... and out.

When Gabriel went home that day from the hospital, he immediately felt something was wrong. He ran to Castiel's room and tried to open the door. He took the master key from the drawer and unlocked it, only to find the door being blocked. He kept on pushing the door but it won't budge.

"Castiel! Open this freakin' door and let me in!" he shouted, and started banging on the door. "Castiel! Open this damn door already! Let me in!" he shouted and hit the door one last time as he shut his eyes. "_Cas_." He whispered as tears rushed down his face. He kept on hitting the door with his fist lightly. "_Cas_. Come on. Let me in. Let _us_ all in and help you." He said in a whisper as his tears continue to rush down his face. He let out a shaky breath and gently pushed himself away from the door. He took his phone from his backpack and called Balthazar.

"_Gabriel? What's wrong? Did something happen to him?_" Balthazar asked worriedly when he saw it was Gabriel calling.

"Um, yeah. Kind of. Can you get home now? I might break down as well. He locked himself in again and this time I think he blocked the door." He said in voice just above a whisper.

"_Okay._" Balthazar soothes. "_I'll take Dean with me there._"

"Why?"

"_I don't know._" He sighed and thought for a while. "_I guess I'm hoping he could do something for him. I can see Dean's willingness to do anything for him._"

"Okay then. If you think it's time for Dean to try, go ahead. Just please, get home." He pleaded, fresh tears flowing down his face.

"_Okay. Okay. Why don't you call Sam? I think you need someone too._"

"Yeah. Thanks." He said and they both hang up. Gabriel called Sam, knowing Balthazar was right that he needed some comfort. He knew it was Sam's day off tomorrow and has just gotten home. It only took two rings before Sam picked up.

"_Hey Gabe._" He greeted cheerfully but the tiredness wasn't successfully hidden.

"Are you tired from duty?" he asked weakly, unsuccessfully hiding the distress from his voice.

"_No. Why? Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?_" he asked worriedly upon hearing Gabriel's voice.

"Um, I don't know." He whispered honestly. "Yeah. If that's okay with you. I really need someone right now."

"_Okay. I'll be there in ten._"

"Okay. Thanks." He replied, slowly bringing down his phone and hanging up. He looked back at Castiel's close door. He just doesn't know what to do anymore. He looked back at his phone and decided to cancel the day's session.

Upon hearing Gabriel's voice from the other side of the door, Castiel kept on sobbing silently. He felt the pain in his brother's voice but chose to ignore it. He just can't keep everything inside anymore. After five years of pretending that he doesn't feel the pain, everything just came crashing through.

===3==

"Hey Dean." Balthazar greeted as he walked up to Dean, the said man working on a car his workers can't get fixed. Dean looked up from his work and saw Balthazar leaning against a post with his arms crossed.

"Hey yourself. How's Castiel doing?" he asked concern evident in his tone.

"Terrible." Was his simple answer. Dean sighed deeply at the response he got. He bit down his bottom lip with a frown as he cleaned his hands with a cloth.

"I'm really sorry for—" he started but was cut off by Balthazar who raised his hand.

"Dean, it's not your fault. Stop apologizing for something you are not responsible for."

"Still..." he started but trailed off. He didn't really know what else to say except that it was _his_ fault. He didn't know who else to blame but himself. Who else was there to blame? It couldn't be Gabriel for he knew that would be a mistake. Sam didn't feel the attraction to Castiel to let his name slip like that. Certainly it wasn't Balthazar because he wasn't even there. All there is to blame was Dean himself. That is what he's good at anyway—taking the blame for everything.

"Dean," Balthazar sighed. "Could you come with me? _Cas_ locked himself again. The door's blocked and Gabriel might start to break as well." Balthazar said, finally saying his intentions of coming to Dean.

Dean's eyes widened with fear while his brows furrowed and looked at Balthazar, not believing what he just heard. "Why me?" he said just above a whisper.

Balthazar shrugged at the question and became thoughtful for a while. He averted his gaze from Dean before he spoke. "You know, I don't really trust anyone with _my_ best friend. I'm fine with his one night stands but I make sure that the feeling's mutual. That it's all about sex alone. Every girl I've seen who wanted him for more than just that, I really couldn't care less because I know no one will be able to take Michael's place in his heart." He said, changing the subject and getting Dean confused. He kept his eyes on the ground all the while.

Dean was about to say something when Balthazar spoke again. "I don't even let him get close to men because he _was_ strictly again for women only. But when I saw that shine in your eyes, I knew you were special. I saw that exact same shine in Michael's eyes whenever we're with _Cas_. And the way you can make his eyes glitter, I knew you were the one who'll be able to make him feel love again." He finished and looked back at Dean.

Dean was speechless. He couldn't find the words to say. He was glad that he has Balthazar's approval but is not really sure if he would believe him. Castiel made it clear he didn't want him that way. True that Dean didn't really want to believe that, but Castiel just kept on pushing him away when he gets too close.

"Balthazar," he started and sighed. He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling for a while, pursing his lips. He sighed heavily once more and looked back at Balthazar in the eye. "He made it clear that he didn't like me. I know he's just being _friendly_ to spare my feelings."

"That's his head talking Dean." Balthazar started to argue, "That flame that has been long gone has started to spark again the night you talked to him at the bar. Dean, please. I don't usually go around asking people to help _my_ best friend." He snapped at Dean, emphasizing the word _my_.

Dean felt his chest clench, stopping himself from actually hoping that what Balthazar is saying might actually be true. He knew in himself how deep his feelings were for Castiel. In the short time they've been together, he felt something he never felt before. He actually felt... love. He loves Castiel. He loves him so much that he's willing to give up everything for him.

Dean sighed and met Balthazar's eyes. All he could see in those eyes was plain sincerity. Along with that came hope and pain. "Okay." He whispered softly. "I'll try." He said as he ran his hand through his hair. "Just, just let me clean myself a little." The other man can't help but smile a little at that. At least it's not just him and Gabriel who are trying to make Castiel better.

They left in Dean's Impala and were silent all the way to the apartment.

===3==

They arrived to the apartment after half an hour. They got inside and saw Sam doing his best to comfort Gabriel. Tear tracks were evident on the said man's face. His eyes were swollen. He must be crying for some time now. Dean wonders how long Castiel has been locked up in there. "How's he?" he asked worriedly. Gabriel simply shrugged, eyes staring straight ahead.

Dean quickly walked to what he knows is Castiel's room. He turned the knob and found that it wasn't locked. But when he tried to push the door open, it doesn't move. He tried again and realized that when Balthazar said Castiel blocked the door, he wasn't kidding at all. He pounded loudly at the door. "Castiel!" he shouted. "Castiel! Get your ass the hell out of here!" he yelled as he continuously pounded on the door. He stopped and moved back a little as he sighed heavily. Frustration is starting to embrace him. "Is there a window in his room?" he asked Balthazar because he's the only one who'd actually be able to answer.

"Of course. Why?"

"Take me there." He replied and walked past Balthazar and straight to the door.

Balthazar led him to one side of the apartment and pointed to the window on the second floor. It was open to let some air in but also blocked with a curtain, which made it impossible to see what's inside. The window was actually big enough to let a man his size in.

"What are you going to do?" Balthazar asked as they stared at the open window.

"I'm gonna climb up there and get him out." He replied as he rolled his shoulders backwards and went to the series of ladders beside the building. He started climbing the short way up and reached the balcony where the window was. He pushed open the curtain and saw Castiel sitting and curled up like a ball in the middle of the bed. His head was resting on his folded arms just on top of his knees. The sight made his heart ache that he just want to embrace the man and tell him that everything will be okay. But he knew better and went against it.

He sighed heavily and went into the room through the window. He slowly walked towards the bed where Castiel was sitting. Slowly, he sat down on the edge of the bed as he reached out to put his hand on Castiel's head.

Castiel flinched and snapped his head up to see who it was and how the hell that person entered the room. He was surprised to see Dean sitting at the edge of his bed, his face was painted with a pained expression. Dean let his hand fall on the bed when Castiel's head suddenly looked up.

Castiel sighed heavily and put his head back down.

"Why are you here?" he whispered.

"Balthazar was worried and asked me to come." He said just above a whisper and averted his gaze away from Castiel. It was really painful to see him broken like this, knowing it was his fault.

Castiel, as if he knows what Dean was thinking mumbled. "It's not your fault, you know? This was bound to happen sooner or later." He released a shaky breath and lifted his head a little; just enough to see Dean's face.

Dean simply stared back at him and kept on blaming himself. He moved a little closer to Castiel and hesitantly lifted his hand up to brush Castiel's hair away from his forehead. After doing so, he ran his fingers through the said man's hair, trying to comfort him the same way he did with Sam when they were kids. Why Castiel let him do this, he doesn't know. Castiel simply sighed lightly and closed his eyes. Dean stopped combing his hair with his fingers a few moments later but kept them tangled with his hair. He sighed lightly and slowly slid his hand down the other man's face; his thumb rubbing soothing circles on his temple, making him sigh in contentment.

"Michael used to do that when we were kids. After I cry because the other kids were telling me my father doesn't love me anymore." Castiel whispered and slowly opened his eyes but kept his gaze on the bed.

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered back and started to pull his hand away. Castiel stopped him by raising his hand and resting it on top of Dean's to keep it on his face.

"No." He whispered, "It's okay. I _like_ it. I miss that kind of comfort." he said, finally meeting Dean's gaze.

Dean simply nodded and went back on what he was doing after Castiel pulled his hand away. Castiel sighed once more and closed his eyes again. A few moments of silence later, Castiel started to snore lightly which made Dean smile. He just kept on rubbing soothing circles on his temple until he's sure he's fast asleep. Slowly, he moved his hand away from Castiel's face. He stood up and moved to sit beside Castiel to pull him down to a lying position on the bed. After Castiel was laid down on bed, the said man shifted on his own to make himself comfortable and sighed one more time.

Dean stood up and left through the window, asking help from Balthazar and Sam to move the bed and the drawer away from the door. After that, he checked up on Castiel one last time before they went home.

===3==

A few weeks passed and Castiel continued the sessions with his psychiatrist. He was granted a long leave of absence by the University. Dean visits almost everyday after asking Gabriel, Balthazar and Castiel's permission. Even the doctor said that Castiel is more responsive when Dean is around (at least before and after sessions. Their sessions are meant to be private.). The doctor told Gabriel and Balthazar that Dean's presence actually helps Castiel's condition.

So, needless to say, that became their routine; Dean visits in the morning to make sure Castiel eats breakfast and goes to work after. Then, he returns at noon after his work at the shop (he has been having a half day off to make sure Castiel's still fine) before the session starts and feeds him his lunch. He stays out whenever the session's going on. He stays a little later to make sure that Castiel would actually sleep for the night.

Whenever Dean's there, they don't really talk. They just sit there in comfortable silence. Occasionally, Dean would play the guitar in Castiel's room (which he didn't know was Michael's) and sing to him. It was comforting for the two of them, simply having each other's company. At times, Dean would bring movies and make Castiel watch them while he washes the dishes or cook some food. After washing the dishes or cook food, he'd just stand there and watch Castiel watch a movie.

Tonight wasn't any different. Well, except for the fact that the fridge doesn't really have much food to be used to actually make a meal.

"Castiel." He called as he put on his jacket. The said man looked up from his position on the couch but did not speak. "I'll buy some food from the store. I'll leave you here for a while, okay?" he finished as he reached the door. Castiel simply nodded and looked back at the TV.

The sky looked dark and seemed like it was about to rain. For safety measures, Dean brought an umbrella with him and started his short ride to the store.

It took him about ten minutes to drive there and fifteen minutes to buy everything he needed. When he was about to pay, he realized that it was raining outside but it wasn't strong at all. It was simply slightly heavy droplets falling from the sky. The wind is still and there are no signs of lightning or thunder. He was glad he had brought an umbrella with him.

He got out and went to his car, shrugging off the few droplets of water that reached his jacket. He started his car and went on his way to Castiel's place.

He got there about ten minutes later and was surprised at the sight that welcomed him.

Castiel was standing under the rain. He was soaked and his head was tilted backwards, the rain showering his beautiful face. His eyes were closed but his lips were parted a little. His arms were slightly open, as if waiting for something to take him or offering himself to whomever.

"Castiel!" Dean exclaimed, running towards him with the umbrella—groceries forgotten in the car—to keep him from getting wetter. Castiel looked at him and gave him the saddest smile he has ever seen which made him stop.

"It was raining the night Michael and I admitted our feelings for each other." He told Dean, his smile still intact. "It was around this time too." He said and chuckled sadly as he looked down on the ground. He wet his lips and shut his eyes; his brows furrowed. Whether he was crying or not, Dean doesn't really know. All he could see was the pain on Castiel's beautiful face.

Dean dropped the umbrella and slowly walked over to Castiel. Castiel's eyes were still shut and his head was still bowed down when Dean reached him. Slowly and hesitantly, Dean brought his arms up and around the shorter man. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Castiel's eyes snap open but he didn't back away. He simply let Dean's embrace calm him down as he shut his eyes back down. His shoulders were shaking hard as he sniffed every now and then. Dean simply hugged him tighter, hoping for everything to be alright after.

After a while, Castiel's breathing started to go back to normal. His hands were fisted in front of Dean's jacket—on the said man's waist. Dean simply kept him there, the rain still pouring and the wind starting to pick up. Reluctantly, Castiel gently pushed away from Dean as he calmed down.

"Thanks." He whispered, eyes still glued to the ground, hands still fisted Dean's jacket.

Dean cupped his face with one hand while the other rested on his back. Castiel looked back at him and saw the fondness on his face. Dean was staring right at his eyes and was rubbing soothing circles on his cheek. Dean then looked up to his forehead and brushed his hair away with the same hand before looking back at his eyes. "Glad to help." He whispered back and continued rubbing his thumb across his cheek. Castiel gave him a small smile and did something slightly unexpected. Castiel wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. He was frozen for a while but then wrapped one arm around Castiel's waist while the other moved to cradle the back of Castiel's head as he smiled to himself.

"Thank you for being here." Castiel murmured.

"I thought asking you to let me want you made things clear already?" he said with a fond smile even though the other man couldn't exactly see him while he gently played with Castiel's soaked hair. "I'm not going anywhere Castiel." He finished turning his head a little to nuzzle Castiel's head with his.

"_Cas_." Castiel muttered.

"What?" he asked, not sure if he was hearing it right.

"It's _Cas_. Call me _Cas_."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Uh, yeah. So, I might not be able to post for three weeks or whatever because it's our preliminary exams the week after and I kind of have to focus on studying first. So I might not be able to write anything decent even if I try to. Anyways, enjoy this thing and review. Please? Haha. Also, I'll be posting a Dean birthday special thingy thing (it is on the 24th, right?). Yeah. Okay. I love you guys! :D<strong>_


	13. Letting Go

**_AN: Sorry guys for the very, VERY late update. I was hit by a major writer's block this past week and I have no idea of what I should write or whatever. Like I have the idea in my head but I couldn't write it. Anyway, I think the reason to my recent writer's block is due to my depression regarding my preliminary exams. Anyway, here it is. Forgive me for being too little too late (wait. what?). Please do enjoy and please. Review. :D_**

**_I love you guys! :3_**

* * *

><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**Letting go...**_

===3==

"It's Cas. Call me Cas." He said as pulled away a little from Dean to see the other man's face.

"Cas." Dean muttered. _Cas_ simply gave him a small nod in agreement, showing him that he's not going to freak out again by hearing his Michael-given nickname. "Cas." Dean said once more, a little louder, as if he couldn't believe Cas is okay with his nickname being used.

"Yes, Dean. That's my name." He said half teasingly with a small smirk. His face suddenly scrunches before Dean could respond and sneezed, sniffing afterwards.

"Well, Cas. I think we better get inside before you catch a cold. Gabriel might kill me for letting you get sick." He said teasingly as he shrugged. Castiel snorted a slight chuckle.

"Nah. Balthazar will kill you. I'm the one Gabriel will kill for getting sick."

"Still, someone would kill someone." He said jokingly which in turn made Castiel chuckle a little and smile widely. "Come on." he said and pulled back to hold Castiel from behind. They were almost to the door when Dean realized he forgot the groceries in the car. He told Cas to wait at the door as he ran back to the car to get them—and the umbrella—then ran back to Cas. They got inside and tried to shrug off as much water as possible. Dean walked to the kitchen and dropped the bag on the counter.

"I think you better shower. You could get sick." He called to Cas who went to a cabinet to get some towels.

"Sure. You can take your jacket and shirt off and just wrap your body with this. It'll be a little warmer." He replied as he passed Dean a towel. Dean raised his hand which held the towel and nodded as thanks. Castiel nodded and smiled in return and made his way to the bathroom. As Dean dried his hair first, he heard the sound of the shower being turned on.

Dean removed his jacket and his shirt and dried his body. He didn't wrap the towel around and stayed half naked as he started cooking dinner. Gabriel has a night shift in the hospital while Balthazar's staying with his new girlfriend which means he only needs to prepare a dinner for two. As he started dinner, he started to hum AC/DC's Highway to Hell.

He was halfway through making dinner and was busy humming AC/DC songs (at the moment he's humming You Shook Me All Night) that he didn't hear Cas finishing his shower until warm arms wrapped around his waist, a bare chest touched his back, a face nuzzled his and a hum came from behind. He momentarily stiffened but relaxed quickly, feeling familiar with the touch.

"What are you cooking?" the man from behind whispered fondly which made his heart race. He can feel his face heat up as he slowly turned his face with his lips parted to slight surprise. He was speechless for a while with how near Cas' face was from him. When Castiel didn't get a reply, he turned his head as well to face Dean. They simply stared for a while until Cas pulled away quickly, as if realizing something he should've known before he wrapped his arms around Dean.

"I'm sorry." He muttered as he looked away.

"Um." Dean stuttered and averted his gaze as well. "It's okay. Uh, what..." he trailed off. He really didn't have to finish the question because Cas understood it clearly.

"It's just..." he started and wet his lips. He inhaled deeply and exhaled the air slowly. "When I heard you humming You Shook Me All Night, um..." he stuttered, "my body went on instinct." He finished but kept his gaze away from Dean.

"Um," Dean started and wave his hand forwards, a gesture to ask Cas to continue, and looked at him as he said, "please elaborate."

"Michael." He sighed heavily and pursed his lips before he tried again. "Michael hums AC/DC songs whenever he cooks. I went on instinct. I... I usually do what I did to Michael when I hear him humming here. So... yeah. Um. I'm sorry." He looked up at Dean. "Again."

Dean was about to respond when they heard the front door open. Balthazar came crashing through and saw the two half naked men standing awkwardly in the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks and stared at the two of them. Cas was feeling a little awkward while Dean was starting to blush heavily.

"Don't tell me I just walked in on the two of you." He told them with his eyebrows raised as he slowly walked towards them. He failed to hide the accusation in his tone.

"No!" The two men exclaimed quickly which gained them an amused look from Balthazar.

"Okay. Then why are you two too defensive?" Balthazar said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"We're not defensive!" again, they exclaimed at the same time. Dean's face turned redder while Cas got a little more frustrated. Balthazar smirked at the two of them. He found the two men very amusing at that moment.

"Why are you here anyway?" Cas asked him, half annoyed.

"Why are you half naked?" Balthazar asked smugly and raised an eyebrow at him. Castiel blushed and averted his gaze from Balthazar.

"It's none of your business." He muttered.

"It is my business. I'm your best friend and you're not going to tell me about your _sex life_?" he retorted smugly which gained him a glare from Cas and a brighter blush from Dean.

"Dude!" Cas exclaimed. "First of all, why the hell would I tell you anything about my sex life?" he said and didn't notice Dean squirming in his position. "And secondly, Dean and I weren't having sex neither were we planning on doing so." he finished with a scowl and his index finger pointed at Balthazar.

"Aw. C'mon Cassy—"

"Stop calling me Cassy!" Cas cut off.

"Fine." He said with a roll of his eyes. "C'mon Castiel. The two of you looked like teenagers caught in the act of _getting it on_." he said with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. Cas frowned at the implication and opened his mouth for a retort but Balthazar raised his hand to stop him from saying anything. "I get it Castiel and now I'm leaving." He said and turned towards the door.

Cas grunted and turned to Dean who turned into all kinds of red. "Dean, will you please explain to him what really happened?" Cas told him which made his head snap back to reality.

"Huh?" he asked because he wasn't exactly following the flow of the conversation ever since he has heard Balthazar's implication.

Cas sighed before he started to speak. "Why we're _half naked_. Explain it to him." he finished giving Dean the look that says fuck-this-up-and-we're-not-talking-to-each-other-ever-again half heartedly.

"Oh." Dean replied, realizing what was going on. "He took a shower because we both got soaked in the rain. I was waiting for him to finish so I can shower as well. I removed my shirt so I won't catch a cold." He finished with a shrug.

"Uh huh." Balthazar said, crossing his arms, still not convinced. "And neither of you thought that a shirt was necessary?" he asked smugly which made Dean blush a little.

"Not really. I mean, we're both dudes and..." he trailed off and looked down on the floor

"Also, you know I rarely wear a shirt after a shower." Cas continued.

"Aw come on Cassy!" Balthazar exclaimed. But before Cas can respond, Gabriel suddenly busted in the door.

"Halo peop—" he trailed off after seeing Cas and Dean half naked with a very amused Balthazar.

"Why are you home?" Balthazar, Cas and Dean asked at the same time.

"What? I live here. Doctor Taylor came eventually. I didn't have to do his shift anymore." Gabriel responded with a shrug. "Why are you two half naked anyway?"

"They were about to have sex Gabe." Balthazar smirked which made Cas groan and Dean blush harder.

"We are not!" Cas defended.

"Right Cassy. So... Balthazar, you and I walked in on them, then?" Gabriel teased with a smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest. Both he and Balthazar were enjoying the sight and the situation a lot.

"Stop calling me Cassy! Why can't you just call me Cas?" he snapped and made Gabriel and Balthazar tense up. Confusion and relief were evidently seen in their eyes.

"What?" Balthazar muttered weakly.

"Cas... I'm... I'm cool." Cas replied just as weakly but firmly to assure them.

"Cas." Gabriel whispered which got Cas' attention. "Cas." He said again, louder this time. Cas just looked at him, assuring his brother that he wouldn't freak out. "Cas." He breathes one more time before he rushed to his brother and held him in a tight embrace, letting one of his hands fist his younger brother's hair that lay at the back of his neck while the other around his shoulder. "Cas." He said one last time and held him tighter while Cas wrapped his arms around his brother.

"Yes, Gabriel. That's my name." He said fondly with a smile and held him tighter.

Balthazar slowly walked up to them and wrapped his arms around them, kissing Cas' temple before releasing a heavy sigh and resting his forehead on Cas' temple. "It's so good to have you _back_ Cas." He choked out and held Cas and Gabriel.

"I was never gone Balthazar." He teased lightly.

"You know what I mean." Balthazar said quietly and held the brothers tighter, feeling his eyes burn as he felt the tears form.

"I know." Cas replied and moved one of his arms out of Gabriel's waist and wrapped it around Balthazar. Both Balthazar and Gabriel were silently sobbing. Cas simply smiled, glad that he's best friend and his brother are happy. Dean simply stood there and admired the sight in front of him, knowing that Cas is actually getting better and glad that (hopefully) he's helping somehow.

Almost two weeks have passed and their routine just kept on going. Dean still took half days at work and he still took care of Cas. Only difference is that the sessions are less and less and Cas has slowly started to teach once more. Dean would occasionally pick him up or bring him dinner or just hang out with them—Cas, Gabriel and Balthazar—at night.

One afternoon, by the end of the second week after the occurrence, Cas and Dean were watching a movie in Cas' apartment. His class ends at two o'clock in the afternoon on days like that. Cas sat cross legged on the couch while Dean had his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together and body crouched down. Both of them were watching the movie intently until it came to an end. Both men stretched a little when it ended. Dean stood up and started cleaning up.

"Dean, can I show you something?" Cas asked when he stood up as well to help Dean.

"Sure." He replied as they put the dishes they used to the sink. Cas went to his room while Dean went back to the living room and sat back down, waiting for him. When Cas returned, he was holding two books; one black—the one he dropped in Dean's car—and one white. He sat down right next to Dean and crossed his legs once more, this time, facing Dean.

Cas was looking at the books in his hands. He wet his lips and bit down his lower lip, contemplating about something. As he released his lower lip, he sighed a little and looked up to Dean with a small smile. He passed the books to Dean and the other man accepted it with confusion on his face as he eyed the books in his hands.

"What are these?" Dean asked and looked up at Cas who looked a little nervous.

"The black one belonged to Michael and the white one belongs to me." he said, waiting for Dean's reaction.

"Okay." He simply replied, encouraging Cas to continue.

"We started writing on those, memories we have together, a few months after we became a couple. We agreed to read it together after ten years we started writing, which is actually some time this year. We've been together for five years and we did our best not to write too much unless we really loved what happened, like, the first time we..." he trailed off and blushed profusely as he bit his lower lip with a shy smile. Obviously, Dean understood what he was saying. "Anyway, we minimized the entries into three to five sentences for every entry. We also put a few pictures in there."

"Why are you telling me this then?" Dean asked quietly, curious as to why Cas was telling him all of the things he just said.

Cas simply shrugged with a small sad smile as he looked down, eyes on the couch they're sitting on. He bit his lower lip, thinking of what to say next before meeting Dean's eyes once more. "I guess this is me letting go." He said and looked down once more as he played with his hand.

"Okay." Dean said quietly after a long pause, staring intently at Cas.

"What?" Cas' head snapped up to look at Dean, as if he just realized he had company.

"Let's read the stuff you and Michael wrote in here." Dean encouraged—still looking at Cas—with a smile as he opened Michael's book. He looked down at the open book in his hands and started reading. "August 28, 2000. We're not a couple yet at this time but Balthazar and I found out that we both have feelings for Cas. Anyway, it's his birthday on this day and I took him to his favourite arcade. We spent the whole day there and I'm not telling him I wrote this. I'm just head over heels for him and yeah, I love you Cas. I'll write about the present on my next entry." Dean finished reciting Michael's first entry and raised his brows at the end. "Huh." He huffed out, still looking at the book in his hands.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too." Cas said with a light chuckle which made Dean look up to him. Cas was still smiling fondly as he replayed the words over and over in his head while Dean was smiling goofily at Cas. When Cas felt Dean's eyes on him, his smile faded and he looked up at Dean. "What?" he asked with slightly furrowed brows. Dean simply shook his head as his smile got a little bigger.

"Nothing. It's just..." he started but trailed off. He looked straight ahead, still wearing that smile. He looked back at Cas after a little while and smiled fondly at him. Cas couldn't help but return that smile. "Your smile. It's beautiful, do you know that?"

Cas snorted with a smile but still turned a little red because of compliment and the sincerity behind it that is wrapped up with fondness. "Yeah. Almost every girl I meet tells me that. But still, thanks." He said with a smile that would make Adonis nothing in comparison. Dean's heart beat quickly in his chest and he was quite certain Cas would actually hear it if he doesn't do anything.

"Okay." Dean started awkwardly as he tore his gaze away from Cas and brought it back to the book he was holding. "Let's see what else he has written in here, shall we?" he asked jokingly which made Cas smile.

"Okay. Go on ahead." He replied with a smile and a small wave of his hand as a gesture to make Dean continue.

Dean flipped the pages, skipping some parts and stopped after a while. He cleared his throat before he started reading. "March 18, 2003. Happy Birthday to me! Oh yeah! Best Birthday EVER!" Dean read with feelings as he emphasized the capitalization of the whole word 'ever' and the joy written on the paper. He looked up at Cas who was blushing profusely, biting his lower lip, suppressing a sheepish smile and couldn't look at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion. Suddenly, his eyes widened a little with his cheeks turning red as realization hit him when he remembered Balthazar's story about the first time Cas and Michael had sex. That would explain why it was the best birthday for Michael and why Cas was blushing that way.

An awkward silence fell upon them, neither breaking it as the two men shied away ever so slightly. Cas cleared his throat, finally giving up and decided on breaking the silence. Dean looked at him and he looked back at the other man. "Um," he started and averted his gaze once more as he rubbed the back of his neck. "okay. That was... awkward." He finished with his cheeks flushed red, glancing at the other man every now and then.

"Yeah." Dean huffed out, averting his gaze as well, looking anywhere, everywhere just not at Cas. Finally, he cleared his throat and sighed a little before he looked back at Cas. "So, I guess we should start reading again."

"Sure." He responded with a soft smile.

"Okay. Um." Dean started as he looked back at the book in his hands, flipping through the pages again. He went back a little instead of moving ahead to the most recent entries. He stopped somewhere at the quarter part of the book. He inhaled deeply before reciting the words he saw on the pages. "December 24, 2002. Heavy Christmas Eve make out session. Almost lost control. God help me. Control yourself Michael." Dean raised his brows at the page; amusement and confusion were written all over his face.

"We were alone that Christmas Eve." Cas started to explain when he saw the slight confusion on Dean's face. Dean looked up at him, giving him his full attention. Cas sighed lightly and chewed his lower lip thoughtfully before continuing. "We have the apartment for ourselves because Balthazar went home. Gabriel can't get to me because there was a snow storm coming from where he was working as a nurse while he studied medicine. Michael's family let him stay with me since my brother couldn't make it. I wanted to lose control at that time as well but I was too scared. I was scared to bare myself to him so I stopped him. We ended up cuddling instead. That night, I felt so safe, like no one could harm me at all." Cas finished with a smile and Dean couldn't help but adore that smile of the man in front of him. Cas suddenly felt Dean's eyes on him and looked up, brows furrowed a little with confusion. Dean was wearing the sweetest smile and he doesn't know why. "What?" he asked with a small smile.

"Nothing." Dean said as he shook his head. He sighed a little and looked at Cas in the eye. "So, shall we continue?" he asked with a smile. Cas nodded slowly with a soft smile and let Dean continue reading. Once again, he flipped the pages, now moving forward to the most recent entries. He stopped again and started reading whatever was written. "August 18, 2004. Three years together and going strong. Two words: Edwin McCain."


	14. Can I Have This Dance?

**_title says it all. just the two of them dancing-ish._  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**Can I have this dance?...**_

===3==

"August 18, 2004. Three years together and going strong. Two words: Edwin McCain." Dean read the words written on the page. August 18 must be the day Balthazar has set them up which eventually ended up with them confessing to each other. Or maybe that was simply the time that they really did become official, after Balthazar has set them up. Nonetheless, Dean was still curious as to why Edwin McCain was mentioned in the entry. "What happened on this day?" he finally asked as he looked up at Cas. Cas simply smiled as he recalled the memory. It was a special date Michael did for their third anniversary. He remembered the white rose petals scattered on the ground forming the words **I Love You Cas** and some scattered around the table. It was a candlelight dinner complete with their own personal musicians (note, it was a CD player). He remembered the way Michael was smiling at him, all the love he saw in those chocolate brown eyes. He remembered the joy and love that laced around his sweet tenor-like voice. He remembered the gentle touch of his hand on him. But most of all, he remembered how much they love each other.

After a while of reminiscing, he looked up back at Dean with a small smile. "We danced that night, the night of our anniversary." He started, smile growing and becoming fonder. "He prepared a candlelight dinner complete with music and stuff. Then, I'll Be by Edwin McCain began to play." His smile now was filled with joy and love at the memory. He remembered everything clearly. The way Michael stood up when the song began to play. The way a hand was stretched in front of him, urging him to take it and have a dance with the man who owned the hand. The way Michael smiled sheepishly with a bright red flush on his cheeks. The way he shyly took in Michael's invitation. The way they stood, fitting perfectly like a lock to a key. The way they started to dance hesitantly but eventually moved in sync like an angel's wings on its flight. "I'm embarrassed to say that I took the part of the girl because he was taller than me." He continued with a light blush.

"So..." Dean started after a moment of silence. "you dance, huh?" Cas simply nodded with a smile. "Okay. Let's try you then." Dean said with a smirk as he closed the book he was holding and put it down beside him on the end of the couch.

Cas' brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"I said," he started as he slowly stood up and reached out his hand to Cas. "let's see you dance. Even though I hate to admit it, I'm a really good dancer." He finished with a wink and a slight smirk. Cas couldn't help but huff out a laugh at that. He smiled and looked up to Dean. He shook his head at Dean's expectant face. Without second thoughts, he took Dean's hand and he was hauled up to his feet.

"Okay. Let me get my iPod and a speaker." He said as he pulled away from Dean to get to his room. "What song do you want?" he said over his shoulder as he got to his room.

"Do you have that same song you danced to back then?" Dean asked without thinking.

"Yeah. Why?" Cas said as he emerged from the bedroom, iPod in hand.

"Maybe we should dance to that." He replied with a soft smile as Cas approached him. "If you want to, that is." He quickly added when Cas froze for a while and saw the hesitance in his face.

Cas simply shrugged his hesitance off, shaking his head a little in the process and gave Dean a small reassuring smile. "No. It's okay. I'm letting go, remember?"

Dean gave him a sad but fond smile.

Cas started setting up. He looked calm enough but deep inside, he was feeling a little tense. He hasn't listened to Edwin McCain's I'll Be for a long while now and he has a reason. It reminded him too much of Michael. It reminded him of how good they were for each other. It reminded him of all the love Michael has given him.

Everything has been set up. Dean went to Cas and asked for his hand—the same way a guy would ask the girl he likes to dance during prom night.

"You're going to be the girl 'cause I'm taller than you." Dean said as Cas took his hand. Cas couldn't help but snort at that. Dean's reasoning has always been amusing to him.

"Fine. Only because I haven't danced in a really, **really **long time." He replied as the taller man pulled him closer, putting one hand on his waist and the other to hold his hand at chest level. He, in turn, put one hand on his shoulder and let the other be carried by him. Both of them wore a small smile.

The introduction started and they started to sway left and right, back and forth awkwardly but still in time with the music. Both averted their gazes for a while due to the slight shyness and an even slighter sense of embarrassment.

Dean was the first one to return his gaze. The hand that rested on Cas' waist rose up to hold his chin, moving his head so he was looking directly at Dean. When blue eyes met the green ones, Dean smiled softly and brought his hand back on Cas' waist before the words began. As the singer sang, Dean sang along.

**The strands in your eyes that colour them wonderful stop me and steal my breath**...

As he sang along, they started to move more confidently, doing a waltz that went well with the song. Cas' blue eyes were simply locked on Dean's green ones, neither seemed to want to break the eye contact that controlled their movements, their surroundings, making everything else a simple piece of nothing. They waltzed around the couch, keeping the whole world away from them as they created their own. They were losing each other in the other's eyes, in their own movement.

Dean simply kept on singing along the song as he stared at Cas.

**And tell me that we belong together**.

Dean put both of his hands on Cas' waist and lifted him up in the air, turning a little to make a beautifully graceful move. Cas in turn laid both of his hands on Dean's shoulders for support before he was put back down on the ground, their previous position back.

**Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.**

Dean spun Cas once and then they did a single step of waltz and Cas was spun once more, before the song hit its chorus and they went back to their waltz.

**And I'll be**... Dean lifted Cas up once more and put him standing on the small table (which amazingly held his weight) **better when I'm older**... and pulled him down slowly until he's in a kneeling position so that their eyes were of the same level and he rested his forehead on his, never averting their gaze. **I'll be the greatest fan of your life.** Cas slowly stood up and let Dean's hand slide back down on his sides, going back to his waist. Dean then lifted him up once more and put him back down on the floor to resume their waltz. Their waltz continued around the couch once more until words were heard once more. **And rain falls,** the song stated as Dean turned Cas so he could fit in his arms. **angry on the tin roof as we lie awake on my bed.** They continued with the basic waltz with Cas' back against Dean's chest and the taller man's arms around him while his own were crossed over the other while holding Dean's hands. Dean turned Cas once more before the line ended and they were facing each other once more.

They paused for a while to get back with the beat. **You're my survival, you're my living proof. My love is alive, not dead.** They proceeded with their waltz, moving around the room in the process and if someone was watching them, they'd be surprise that the two men haven't hit anything yet.

**And tell me,** the song went as Dean laid Cas slightly backwards, supporting the shorter man's body with an arm resting behind him—from the back of his neck and across his spine. Dean's other hand remained on his waist. One of Cas' hands moved to the back of Dean's neck while the other held his arm as Dean slowly glided his body from left to right before pulling him back up to resume their previous position. **that we belong together.** As the song went on, they continued their waltz until the part before the song hit its bridge.

Dean turned Cas again, pulling his back against his chest while his arms were around the smaller man. **And I drop out, I burned up, I fought my way back from the dead.** The song said as they waltzed once more, Cas still in Dean's arms, their gaze never leaving each other. They waltz back and forth while turning ever so slightly. As they did so, they were moving around the couch once more. **I tuned in, I turned on, remember the things that you, **Dean turned Cas once more, making them face each other once more and did the basic waltz once more, moving to one end of the couch. **you said?** Dean spun Cas around and the smaller man complied, moving to the other end of the couch as he did so. With the prolonged end of the verse, Cas ran towards Dean while Dean was waiting for him. When Cas reached Dean, he rested his hands on both of Dean's shoulders to support himself as he jumped slightly while the taller man held him by the waist, lifted him up and spun together.

**I'll be your crying shoulder.** The song went back to chorus as Dean put the younger man back down on the ground and started the basics once more. **I'll be the greatest fan of your life...** The song has started to go back to its low, mellow side. They moved closer, both of Dean's hands now wrapped around both of Cas' waist while the shorterr man's hands were rested at the back of Dean's neck. Their foreheads were touching as they retained they eye contact.

Dean was still singing and was the first to break eye contact by closing his eyes as he nuzzled Cas' nose lightly with his own, making the other man's eyes flutter close as well as their lips were barely touching, and opened his eyes once more as so did Cas. They were just swaying now and Dean lifted Cas up, bridal style. Cas didn't complain, the lifting seemed to be a part of their dance, and his eyes remained on Dean. **The greatest fan of your life...** Cas broke the eye contact this time, nuzzling his head against the crook of Dean's neck, Dean nuzzling back with his cheek as both their eyes fluttered close.

As the song continued to its instrumental, signalling its incoming ending, Dean slowly walked to the couch and gently put Cas down, laying the shorter man on the couch. Cas, once more, didn't say anything but kept on holding the taller man's gaze. He lifted one of his legs up, making a 45o angle formed by his leg and thigh. One of Dean's hands was resting on the same thigh that formed an angle with Cas'leg while his other hand was carded through Cas' hair. Cas on the other hand, has one of his hands resting on his stomach and the other one was cupping Dean's cheek, rubbing small, soothing circles on the taller man's cheek.

They just stared as each other's eyes, waiting for something as the song was coming to an end. The hand that Dean rested on Cas' thigh slowly and gently slid up. Both of them followed the action as it reached Cas' hand that rested on his stomach. Dean dragged Cas' hand along until he reached the smaller man's chest. They both looked at each other simultaneously, neither man uttering a word.

Dean glanced Cas' lips and looked back up to his eyes quickly, seemingly asking for permission. As a silent permission, Cas chanced a glance at Dean's lips as well and looked back at him, straight in the eye.

Dean can see the slight fear, hesitance and uncertainty in those astounding blue eyes. Hesitantly, he leaned down, ghosting his breath on Cas' slightly parted lips. The two men were now looking at each other's mouth, slowly being pulled into the kiss they so desperately (but unconsciously on Cas' part) wanted. Their lips lightly brushed and both men sighed ever so slightly. They're almost there... until the door slammed open.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Hey guys! Sorry for being late... again. anyways. I hope you actually imagined what I'm trying soooo very hard to show in this damn chapter. Haha. Also, I did not double check or triple check or whatever this chapter so forgive me if you saw a lot of mistakes. And ooh, by the way, I will be majorly late for the update because our final examinations are coming and our professors are giving us waaaayyyy too many quizzes this week. So, yeah. Review please? What 'ya think about this stupid dance? :3<strong>_


	15. Even Balthazar Needs Some Lovin'

**_AN: Hey guys! I'm really, really, really,**_ really, really, really,_****_ really, really, really,_****_ really, really, really, REALLY sorry for being late at updating this fic. I know I said that after the exams, I'll post an update. But the stress stopped me from doing so and I have been suffering from SEVERE writer's block for a while. Add the laziness with that and I couldn't write! :D I think it has been a month and a week or two since I last updated? Anyways, this chapter was inspired by ..Tatoo's suggestion-ish. Yeah, Balthazar really needs some lovin'. *wink* So, here ya go! Although I kinda feel disappointed with this because I couldn't write any better. Anyhow, I just feel sad that I'm almost ending this fic. A few more (seriously very few) chapters and it's the end of By Chance. _**_**T_T**_**_ Thanks a lot for those who reviewed this story and patiently waited for me to update. AAAAnywaaaayyyyy... ENJOY! :) Ooh. And don't forget to review guys! Love ya'll! )_**_**

* * *

><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**Even Balthazar Needs Some Lovin'...**_

===3==

The door slammed open and revealed a very frustrated Balthazar. Both Dean and Cas jumped at the sudden intrusion and made their faces turn into a bright color of red. Dean sunk on the floor while Cas sat up on the couch.

"I told you I'm sorry for the hundredth time so please pick up!" Balthazar shouted at his phone angrily as he went to the living room. His frown due to anger turned into a curious one when he saw the state of red and awkward radiating from both Dean and Cas as he shut his phone. "What the hell happened to the two of you?" he asked, looking from Cas to Dean and then back to Cas. Then suddenly, the song hit his ears and his brain registered. He looked at the speaker where Cas' iPod was attached as Edwin McCain's I'll Be was now starting its chorus. His frown deepened and looked back at his best friend. "Cas?" he asks, concern now filing his voice, knowing how the song was a very sensitive topic for him.

"Um…" Cas started as his voice broke a little. He cleared his throat and fidgeted a little. "We were dancing."

"Okay?" the silent 'and?' clearly stated due to the rise of Balthazar's tone at the end.

"Um…" Cas started once more as he averted his gaze from Balthazar. He cleared his throat and bit his lower lip. "That's that. We were dancing."

"Right." Balthazar replied sarcastically. "I'm going to bed." He said as he walked pass the two men.

"At seven?" Cas asked as his gaze followed his best friend's movement.

"Yeah. So?"

"Why?"

"I just feel like it."

"Right." Was the sarcastic reply with a raised brow.

"What? I just feel tired."

"Balthazar, what is it, really? You were shouting at your phone when you came in, you didn't interrogate me and Dean and now you're going to sleep at seven? Did you and Danny have a fight?" Cas retorted, genuine concern lacing his tone.

Balthazar sighed and went back to the living room and flopped down beside Cas. "Kinda." He said with a shrug. Dean faced the two men and folded his legs, ready to be a part of the conversation.

"Who's Danny?" Dean spoke for the first time since Balthazar entered the apartment.

"Current girlfriend." Balthazar replied with another shrug.

"Okay. What happened then?"

"Well, we were having lunch then this waitress started flirting with me. I flirted back, got her number Danny walked out, hasn't picked her phone up since."

Both Dean and Cas stared at Balthazar for a while, trying to process how Balthazar should get mad at Danny when it was in fact his own fault.

"You know, if I were her, I wouldn't pick up either. You were kind of a dick." Dean finally broke the silence.

"Thank you for shoving it on my face." Balthazar replied sarcastically with a fake smile. Dean simply shrugged it off, getting the point across. "But I've been calling her and telling her I'm sorry ever since. All I get is her voicemail, telling me to leave a freakin' message. I could go for her screaming at me as long as she picks up." He grumbled and made Dean snort and smirk a little. "What's so funny?" he asked with a pissed off tone.

"Nothing. I suddenly remembered this song entitled Nothing; like he preferred rejection than the deadly silence on the other end of the line." He replied with a shrug. Both Balthazar and Cas stared at him blankly; Balthazar with his mouth hanging open a little with a slight frown and Cas with a raised eyebrow. "What?" he asked, wondering what he did wrong. Balthazar stared some more before removing his gaze from Dean.

"Anyway, she's still not picking up, she's at home in her parents' house and now I don't know what to do because I her dad wanted to kill me for making his girl cry." Balthazar grunted as he covered his face with both of his hands and tilted his head back, hitting the back of the couch in the process.

"Have you tried apologizing personally?" Cas asked.

"Yes. But she didn't want to see me." He replied with an eye roll, as if it was obvious that he's thought of seeing her personally.

"Then try again. She'll forgive you once she cools down."

"Yeah, man. Cas is right. Try persuading her a little for her to soften back to you. She'll be back in your arms in no time." Dean said with a soft smile.

"Well, you two have no idea how stubborn Danny is."

"Then Dean and I will help you."

"We will?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Yes, we will." He confirmed to Dean with a smile. The other man simply shrugged and let Cas do the talking. "Hey," Cas started, talking to Balthazar this time, "do you think you can still sing Apology by Chris Brown? We used to jam with that song a lot."

"I think so. Why?" he asked. Cas simply smirked triumphantly.

"We gotta practice. You're singing that to her." Cas said, smile getting wider.

"What? No!"

"Do you want her back or what?"

"I do."

"Then you're singing. Girls love it when they're serenaded."

"Er, fine." He replied to his best friend with an eye roll before sighing loudly. "When are we doing it?"

"Tonight." Cas responded with a smile and stood up to go to his room. Balthazar in turn headed to his own room which left Dean alone on the floor in the living room.

"Okay. So, um. I'm just gonna… Yeah. Okay." Dean said lamely as he rubbed the back of his neck. A few moments later, the two men emerged from their respective rooms; Cas with a guitar while Balthazar held a beat box. "Ooh! Can I play the beat box?" Dean asked with an unusual cheer in his tone, like a child asking for a toy he saw.

"You know how?" Balthazar asked as he settled it down beside him.

"Of course!" He exclaimed with a slight frown, as if offended by the question.

About an hour later, they were done rehearsing. Dean quickly learned the song and easily blended with the two other men. They went to Danny's house in Dean's Impala. It was a twenty minute drive from their apartment to Danny's house. Balthazar sat in the backseat with the guitar and the beat box and couldn't seem to stop bouncing his legs up and down. Cas simply stared outside, ignoring Balthazar's nervous stance while Dean kept his eyes in front of the road.

"What if she still hates me no matter what?" Balthazar broke the silence ten minutes later. Cas and Dean looked at each other for a while. Cas looked at Balthazar from the rearview mirror while Dean looked back at the road ahead.

"Then try again some time."

"But—"

"Balthazar," Cas said sharply and turned on his seat to look at his best friend before continuing, "even if you haven't told us or admitted it to yourself, I know you love Danny and I know she loves you too. She'll forgive you because she loves you. You've been together for a while now and I know you haven't had sex with her." Cas looked sharply at Balthazar when the other seemed to want to interject. "I know you Balthazar." He said, this time with softness in his eyes, before turning back to look at the road ahead.

Balthazar sighed lightly and relaxed a little before frowning in confusion. "How the hell did you know I haven't got laid?"

Cas smirked knowingly and looked at his best friend once more through the rearview mirror. "You haven't used a specific perfume in a while."

"What?"

"Never mind." Cas ended their conversation, waving a hand to dismiss it.

After a while they reached their destination. Balthazar has grown a little nervous. _What if I mess the song up? What if she doesn't accept my apology? What if she wants to break up?_ These thoughts kept on running through his mind as they parked on the sidewalk. Both Cas and Dean waited patiently for Balthazar to gather up some strength and to get the hell out of the car.

Five minutes have passed and they were still seated in the car; Dean was drumming his fingers on the stirring wheel, Balthazar on his thighs while Cas kept on playing with his hair. "So." Dean broke the silence first. "Are we gonna sit here all night?" he finally asked looking at Balthazar from the rearview mirror then at Cas. Cas simply shrugged and looked at Balthazar through the rearview mirror.

"So." Cas prompted with raised eyebrows. "Come on Balthazar. We're here now and you've had enough time gathering up the courage."

Balthazar sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. "Fine." He grumbled and got out of the car; so did Dean and Cas.

"You ready?" Cas asked as he took his guitar from the backseat.

"I hope so." Balthazar sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Come on." He said as he led the way towards the house. When they got to the door, he knocked twice and waited for whoever will open the door; hoping it was Mrs. Taylor because Mr. Taylor was just scary on every aspect.

"Hold up dear." A soft voice coming from a woman came from the other side of the door called which made Balthazar release the breath he didn't realize he has been holding, realizing it was Mrs. Taylor they'll be facing first. When the door opened, it revealed a smiling woman who looked like she was in her late-fifties or a little less. She had short black hair with some gray strands. She had slightly rounded but chinky brownish black eyes. Her face was slightly round. Her lips were plump and her nose was neither pointed nor flat. Her body shape still looked fine despite the fact that she could be nearing sixty. At the sight of Balthazar, her smile faded, which was easy to understand. Balthazar on the other hand gave her a tight smile. "You know she doesn't want to see you right now." She whispered to him as she closed the door slightly to hide the three men.

"I know. But I just want to apologize. I know that I'm a jerk for doing that to her but I really want to give us another chance. Please Mrs. Taylor, I really need to see her." He pleaded sincerely.

Mrs. Taylor sighed in defeat and opened the door a little wider. "Come in. But make sure Martin doesn't see you. He's still furious you made our baby girl cry."

"I know ma'am." He replied with a small smile. "Is she in her room?" he asked.

"Yeah. Who are these two boys by the way?" she asked, finally noticing Dean and Cas.

"Castiel." Cas said with a smile and extended his arm to shake her hand.

"Dean." Dean did the same when Cas let go of her hand. "We're Balthazar's friends." He finished with a smile as he let her hand go.

"Oh. What's your business here boys?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"We're here to assist Balthazar." Cas said with a smile as they walked towards the stairs.

"Oh. That's sweet of you dear." She told Cas and Dean with a smile in which the two men responded with a slight bow of their heads. "Good luck son. I like you for her. She's… happier ever since you two got together." She said sincerely, this time to Balthazar.

"Thank you." Was his simple but sincere response.

The three men ascended the stairs to get to Danny's bedroom. As they approached her room, silent sniffs were heard. It broke Balthazar's heart to hear his girlfriend crying, knowing it was his fault. The door was slightly open to reveal the sky blue color of the room. Balthazar knocked lightly on the door and heard Danny's mumbled 'Come in.' Balthazar slowly opened the door with his head ducked down, eyes fixed on the floor. A loud huff was clearly heard, obviously coming from Danny.

As Balthazar slowly looked up as Cas and Dean stayed behind him, he was welcomed by the messed up look of his girl. Her usually bright, happy chocolate brown eyes are puffy and slightly red; obvious sign that she has been crying. Her usually ordered hair was messed up. Her usually fair colored face looked flushed from all the crying and her usually pinkish cheeks were stained with tears that were still flowing.

"What do you want?" she asked hoarsely, her voice was breaking as she spoke.

"I just want to say I'm sorry." Balthazar whispered, loud enough for the people in the room to hear, sincerely, the pain obvious in his voice.

"Just." She started then sighed as she looked away from him. "Just go, Balthazar. Please." She whispered as the tears kept rushing down her face.

"Danny, please. One chance. That's all I ask."

"No."

"_Daniel._" He said which made her look back to him. He stopped calling her by her real name and that caught her attention. "Please. Just listen to the song. It says everything I want to tell you. And every word in the song, I mean it, even if I didn't write it or whatever, but I really, really mean it."

Danny inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly and shakily, eyes fixed solely on Balthazar. "Fine." She finally breathed out.

Balthazar nodded at her and looked back at his two friends over his shoulders, signaling them that they can start playing. Cas strapped the guitar around his body while Dean sat on the beat box. Cas was the one who started the song, followed by Dean playing the beat box shortly. After a short while, Balthazar started singing.

"**You don't even call anymore"**

He started the song with a shrug and took a step towards Danny

"**It's so different from the way it was before**

**Everyday I hear your pretty voice**

**I have no choice, but to be all alone without you"**

He continued singing and started taking a few small steps towards Danny.

"**There's so many mistakes we make in love**

**Cause still I'm thinking this is something we can solve**

**I take all the blame for breaking your heart**

**But you can't let it tear us apart**

**Because**

**She didn't mean anything to me"**

Dean and Cas started to sing as back up for Balthazar along the chorus of the song.

"**She wasn't the one I see in my dreams**

**Girl you know it ain't true**

**If you believe**

**Please accept my apology**

**I didn't mean to hurt you girl"**

He finally reached the foot of bed and sat down on the edge.

"**I didn't see myself settling down**

**But I knew from the first time you came around**

**From the moment I looked into your eyes**

**I never want to see you cry over me"**

He then lifted a hand up to cup her face and wiped her tears away from her cheek with his thumb, keeping his hand there.

"**But I knew if we got serious in love**

**We would never, ever wanna break it up**

**I wasn't ready for you until this day**

**Could you believe when I say that**

**She didn't mean anything to me**

**She wasn't the one I see in my dreams**

**Girl you know it ain't true**

**If you believe**

**Please accept my apology**

**I didn't mean to hurt you girl**

**She didn't mean anything to me **

**She wasn't the one I see in my dreams**

**Girl you know it ain't true**

**If you believe**

**Please accept my apology**

**I didn't mean to hurt you girl**"

The song finally ended, the room went silent and none of them wanted to break it. Balthazar and Danny simply stared at each others' eyes, trying to speak without words. Dean and Cas remained silent, watching the sweet exchange through the simple stares the two lovers in front of them were doing. A few moments later, Danny wrapped her arms around Balthazar's neck, embracing him tightly and cried hard. Balthazar in turn wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

"I'm really sorry for pushing you to your limits Danny. For all the times you saw me flirt with other people, for all the times I've grinded on the dance floor with another, for all the times I didn't listen to your obvious but silent pleas to stop messing around and for all the times I've taken you for granted." Balthazar mumbled against her hair, inhaling her scent in the process and closed his eyes as a few stubborn tears started to fall. "I'm really, really sorry hon." He whispered, hugging her tighter in the process as she sobbed on his shoulder. "I love you." He said softly, barely above a whisper but obviously heard by the other two in the room with them.

"I love you too." She replied just as soft and happily, finally able to tell him how she felt.

Dean and Cas watched with smiles on their faces at the scene that has been unfolded in front of them. They shared secret, knowing glances and quietly exited the room to give the two lovers a short private moment before heading home.


	16. Meet Dean Winchester

**_AN: Hey guys! Sorry it took quite a while. Anyway, two more chapters and it will be the end for By Chance. *cries hysterically.* Well, all that aside, enjoy this chapter and review please! :D I love you guys! Oh, by the way, I'm currently writing a song fic at the moment so as you wait for the next chapter, wait for it as well. And I have two stories coming your way when I'm done with this one. Enjoy! :)_**

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><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**Meet Dean Winchester…**_

===3==

"So, Cassy, Dean, when are the two of you gonna get together?" Balthazar suddenly blurted out as the six of them—namely, Cas, Dean, Gabriel, Sam, Danny and him—were watching Friday the Thirteenth, the one with the actor Jared Padalecki as the main character, in their (Cas, Balthazar and Gabriel's) apartment. It has been three weeks since the day Danny and Balthazar made up and she became one of the permanent fixtures in the boys' lives. Danny and Balthazar sat on the couch, curled up together. Sam and Gabriel sat beside them in the same position. Cas and Dean sat on the floor; Cas in front of Danny and Balthazar while Dean was in front of Gabriel and Sam.

"What?" the two men on the floor asked as they both looked at their friend, confused.

"I mean, come one. Me and Danny," he started as he gestured between him and his girlfriend, "Sam and Gabe. You two are the only ones who are single. The two of you should really start pounding each other." He finished with a waggle of his eyebrows and a smirk. Sam and Gabriel chuckled; Danny giggled while the two men on the floor furrowed their brows.

"It's not a bad suggestion guys." Sam teased with a smirk.

"Yeah. You have unbelievable chemistry and you two are close." Danny seconded with a wink.

"Hey, what makes you guys so sure these two knuckleheads aren't pounding each other already?" Gabriel blurted out which made Dean choke out the beer he was drinking and make Cas blush.

"We're not 'pounding' each other Gabe." Cas growled lowly, emphasizing the word pounding by using air quotations, even as his cheeks flushed a darker shade of red. Dean as well has turned red but remained quiet for the time being.

"Aw. Come on. Just fuck each other already." Balthazar teased the two men which made them slightly uncomfortable. The others laughed lightly as the two men fidgeted on the floor.

"Shut up." Cas muttered, staring solely on the floor. Dean had the courage to glare at Balthazar which made another series of laughter erupt. "I'll buy more beer." Cas growled.

After a while, they sobered up and stopped laughing. "Okay, okay. I'm good." Gabriel said with a light sigh, still smiling, and chuckled lightly. "Oh, Cas, could you do me a favor, since you're going out?" he asked his little brother who simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Could you buy me some stuff while you're at the store?" he continued as he untangled himself from Sam to get something from his room as Cas went to the door to get a jacket.

"Hey Dean, wanna come with?" Cas asked with a raised eye brow as Gabriel approached him, indicating a silent question of, 'or do you want to get stuck with the two pairs of lovebirds and feel left out?'

"Yeah, I'd rather come with you." Dean replied quickly as he stood up to get his jacket as well. Sam, Gabriel and Balthazar huffed a light laugh, making Dean furrow his brow and think twice with what he said. It took a while before he started to blush lightly. "Shut up." He muttered under his breath.

"You should've just said 'go' rather than come." Sam told his brother with a cheeky grin.

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam replied automatically as Dean and Cas went out of the door. But before they were fully out they heard Gabriel say something in between the lines of, 'give us the beer and the things I need before you two do the dirty' which made both men flush red.

The first few minutes of their walk to the store was slightly uncomfortable until Cas cleared his throat to get Dean's attention. "So, tell me who Dean Winchester is." He said with a soft smile.

"Uh…" Dean started and looked down on the ground with a shy smile and a faint blush on his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck. "What do you want to know?" he asked and looked back at his companion.

"Hmm." Cas hummed and looked straight ahead, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes in thought. He smiled widely, exposing his teeth, which made Dean's heart do a somersault in his chest, and looked back at the other man. "Tell me as much as possible, since you know most of who I am anyway. Tell me what makes Dean Winchester… Dean Winchester." He said with a wide smile.

Dean smiled and shook his head before looking straight ahead and sighing loudly. He put his hands in his jean pockets as they walked. "Well, I'm Dean Winchester; I'm born on the twenty-fourth of January. I'm thirty-three years old—opposed to your age of twenty-seven. I used to live in Lawrence, Kansas. I currently own the Winchester Auto-Shop which was passed on to me after my dad died. My parents were John and Mary Winchester. Dad also helped coaching for our high school baseball team and mom was a pre-school teacher. I have two baby brothers that I see as my best friends; a reliable but clingy and child like one as the youngest named Adam and is currently studying in Law School and a responsible but whiny and bithchy one named Sam and he's a nurse at moment that's continuing education to become a doctor. Well, at first he wanted to be a lawyer but suddenly changed his mind." Dean shrugged and looked down on the ground to think. "I always thought I was going to marry my childhood sweetheart, Lisa Braeden, but as time passed by, we realized we're better off as friends. I have two best friends—save for Sammy and Adam—named Andy and Chuck. Andy's a teacher in middle school while Chuck's a writer. I have a crazy cousin named Jo who has an even crazier boyfriend named Ash. I really have no idea what she saw in the guy. Jo's mom, Ellen, and her step father, Bobby, act as second parents for the three of us. My mom died when I was twenty-four due to an accident. My dad followed when I turned twenty-nine.

"Then, uh, I finished elementary, middle school and high school at St. Joseph Institute as the captain of the football team." Dean sighed and smiled at Cas before looking back straight ahead as they walked. "Back then, I dreamed of taking football professionally but suddenly went against it that's why I took up Business Administration at Kansas University then furthered my education here in New York to obtain a Master's Degree. As I finished my Master's Degree, I expanded the business here under the same name. Bobby takes care of the shop back at Kansas. Uh, what else? Hmm." He rubbed his chin, an obvious sign of thinking. His face lit up as he thought of what else to say and smiled brightly at Cas, making the other man's breath catch in his throat. "Oh yeah, I love pie." He finished with a wink that made his companion smile brightly at him as well. "What else do you want to know?" he asked after a short while.

"Anything else you could share." Cas responded lightly.

"Hmm. My favorite color's blue," Dean started once more but was suddenly cut off by Cas' small 'pfft'. He looked the younger man and frowned. "What?" Cas simply waved his hand dismissively with a smile. Dean growled playfully and gave the younger man a light glare. "Anyways," he started once more and stared back straight ahead. "I love AC/DC and Led Zep the most among my favorite rock bands. I hate this generation's idea of music like Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga and shit like that. I never forget to wear the necklace Sam gave me and the ring Adam bought me. My mom used to tell me that angels are watching over me after she sang me Hey Jude by The Beatles. Dad taught me everything I know about cars and used to insist that I play baseball rather than football.

"Back then, when both my parents are really busy, I'm the one taking care of Sammy and Adam when the little squirt came to be after five years of Sam's birth. I used to discourage my two baby brothers about persuading girls because we should be happy with mom alone. But the slightly hypocrite that I am, I used to be kind of a playboy back then until college came. I hate planes, no, wait. I hate flying all in all. I hate it when Sammy and Adam messes with my baby by letting shitty music play on her radio. I love singing in the shower when no one's at home back when I was in high school. I love teasing my baby brothers especially Adam because a lot of girls kept on stalking him." Dean finished with a wide smile and looked back at Cas. "Why don't you just ask me some questions about what you've already heard?"

"Alright, let's start with the least personal ones. How old are Sam and Adam?" he finally asked. Dean gave him an incredulous look for not knowing Sam's age. "Hey, Gabriel never told me how old Sam is."

"Okay, uh, I'm four years older than Sam which makes him twenty-nine. I'm nine years older than Adam which makes him twenty-four."

"Okay, next question." Cas thought out loud and became thoughtful for a while as he looked straight ahead. He smirked and looked back at his companion. "Okay, who was your first kiss and how old were you?"

"Does that include my brothers?"

"I guess so. Kiss on the mouth, not cheeks or forehead or whatever."

"Adam. I was twelve or thirteen, I guess."

"Seiously?"

"Yep. Back then, that kid kept on saying he doesn't like girls and wanted to marry someday. As far as I could remember, Sam said the exact same thing but wasn't as determined as Adam. So, yeah, Adam was my first kiss and I'm his."

"Wow. I thought I was the only one who had their brother as their first kiss."

"Really?"

"Yeah. When I was around three, they said I told Lucifer I want him to marry and kissed him, right on the mouth."

Dean laughed at Cas' revelation as they got inside the store. "Baby brothers are weird."

"Well, it's not like both Adam and I had older sisters to ask for marriage, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Dean replied with a smile as they walked to get a basket for the stuff they were about to buy.

Their conversation about Dean's life ended for the meantime as they bought some beer and the stuff Gabriel asked them to buy. When they got out of the store, their conversation continued.

"Okay, next question." Cas said all of a sudden when the cool breeze greeted them when they walked outside. Dean looked at him and gave a small nod for him to continue. "You said Sam wanted to be a lawyer back then but changed his mind. Why?" he asked. Dean looked straight ahead and smiled sadly which made Cas a little curious.

"Because of me." Dean finally replied as he glanced back at Cas. At Cas' questioning look, he continued. "I almost died when I was thirteen. I was kidnapped because they mistook me from a rich classmate of mine. When they called his parents, the day after I got kidnapped, they realized they took the wrong kid and decided that it would be better if they kill me. I put off a fight which almost got me beaten to death. Luckily for me, my dad and Bobby have two friends that are cops; Victor and Rufus. Victor was actually a member of the FBI. It seemed Sammy saw me taken into the van and called mom and dad quickly.

"But incidents like that have their own consequences. The men who beat me up hit my chest hard, directly at the heart which weakened my heart muscles. I think they called it Cardiomyopathy, or something. I can never be stressed out because my heart could give out. Ever since then, Sammy decided he'd rather be a doctor and cure me. That was also the reason Adam wanted to be a lawyer and continued Sam's past dream, so that he could put men like them to jail, so that kids like me would never get hurt." Dean said in a pained voice and chuckled humorlessly. "I don't even know how Adam remembers that. He was almost four at the time."

"I'm sorry." Cas said in a barely audible voice.

"Nah. It's in the past. It wasn't as bad as the time when I turned twenty five."

"What happened?" Cas asked out of curiosity and concern. Dean tensed a little and his eyes showed pain which made Cas quickly add, "But if you don't want to share, I'm okay with that."

"It's okay." Dean assured without looking at the younger man. "I told you my mom died when I was twenty-four, right?" he started with a question. At Cas' slight nod, he continued. "That accident was my fault. If only I was more carefully with my driving, we wouldn't hit that damn car." He said with clenched jaws.

"Dean," Cas started but was cut off when Dean raised a hand.

"I know. Sam, Adam and dad told me that already; that it wasn't my fault. But I just can't help it." Dean said his jaw clenched and unclenched. "After that, things got worse. I started having nightmares about my mom's death. I kept on seeing her face whenever I fall asleep. Those nightmares led to drinking because at least the stupid nightmares were kept at bay. But I should have known that kind of remedy won't last.

A month later, my nightmares got worse. I haven't been sleeping well because I was so scared with the nightmares." Dean continued, his voice just barely a whisper due to the large amount of air coming out along with his voice. His chest seemed to feel so tight but he just can't stop talking now. He needed to talk about this and Cas was amazing at listening. "I started taking cocaine to keep me awake. After a while, I got dependent on the drug. Sam, Adam and dad tried their best to stop me but I didn't stop. At all. I just kept on taking the drugs and kept on consuming alcohol.

"My twenty-fifth birthday came and the four of us were doing our best to celebrate despite the fact that we're all still a little hung up on my mom's death. In the middle of our celebration, I just collapsed. They rushed me to the hospital. The doctor said my heart almost gave out, that I was lucky I was rushed to the hospital quickly. I was kept in the hospital for a while for two reasons; one reason was the withdrawal of the drug as they drain my system. It didn't take too long because I wasn't really too addicted with them. The other reason was that my heart was too weak that I might not be able to make it without the help of the machines. The only way I could make it was a heart transplant.

"I was at the hospital for almost two months. At the same time that I was there, they were giving me the medication needed for me to be prepared for the surgery. Two days later, they said I have a donor. It was a fifteen year old boy who died due to a hit-and-run." Dean said with a sad smile and huffed a light humorless laugh. "I got to have another chance at life and that kid didn't. I looked him up after that and found out that he was on top of class but still an athlete at school. He helps at the library every now and then and tutored students that needed help. He had a bright future ahead of him, he was needed and I who abused his body got one more chance." He said with a rough, breathless voice. He was at verge of breaking down as his eyes start to water. He looked back at Cas with pained eyes that made Cas cringe a little due to the pain he saw in those green eyes. "I mean, come on! I was dying anyway, gave up on life a long time ago and a kid with a bright future dies and didn't even have a second chance! I just…" he said and looked down as tears started to fall freely on his face. He tried to calm his breathing and stop the tears from falling.

"Hey," Cas started softly and reached out a hand to hold Dean's arm softly. The touch made the taller man look up. Cas gave him a small but soft smile before he continued. "If you died back then, we would have never met. I would never realize that maybe I should start moving on from Michael."

Dean smiled lightly at that, thankful that he really had one more chance at life because if he didn't, he would've never met a man like Cas.

They walked in silence for a little while; Dean calming down and Cas letting him. As they got near to the apartment building, Dean saw a blue ball rolling out on the street with a girl that seemed to be five years old or a little younger, running after it. But what caught his attention was the car speeding towards the girl who seemed to be taken by surprise by the little child and was a little too late as the brakes were hit.

"Hey!" he shouted as he ran towards the little girl, dropping his share of paper bag. Cas was taken by surprise by Dean's sudden outburst. The next thing he knew, Dean was lying in a pool of his own blood on the street.


	17. Chances

**_AN: Finally! Here's the next chapter. It took me quite a while but I did it! BWAHAHAHAHA! *coughs.* Anyways, I only checked this once so forgive me for grammatical errors. Aaaannnnddddd, all of that aside, ENJOY! :)_  
><strong>

**_Keefer! I did not take as long as last time to update! Yey meeee! *dances around goofily.*_**

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><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**Chances…**_

===3==

_"Hey!" Dean shouted as he ran towards the little girl, dropping his share of paper bag. Cas was taken by surprise by Dean's sudden outburst. The next thing he knew, Dean was lying in a pool of his own blood on the street._

Cas dropped the paper bag he was holding as well and quickly ran to Dean's side. In an instant, he was kneeling beside Dean. The driver of the car that hit him kneeled down beside Cas, not knowing what to do, ignoring his broken and bloody windshield. "Oh god." The man choked. "I am so, so sorry." He was shaking now as he covered his mouth not knowing what to do.

"Call 911!" Cas growled loudly, snapping the man beside him from his initial shock. The man nodded jerkily as he took his phone from his pocket with a shaking hand.

The conversation between the man and whoever took his 911 call was a simple blur to Cas as he tried to figure out what to do. "Shit!" he muttered under his breath. "Okay. Gabe taught you some first aid stuff. When someone bleeds, what do you do?" he said to himself, trying to clear his mind as his fists clenched and unclenched. When he remembered what to do, he snapped his fingers and started to remove his jacket. "Right. Stop the bleeding, check the pulse, keep the patient awake." When he finally removed his jacket, he folded it and placed it on Dean's forehead, putting pressure on his head to slow down the bleeding. He moved two fingers towards Dean's pulse point, just under his jaw. "Okay, there's a pulse." He said as he felt Dean's vein continued pulsing. "Alright. Dean? Dean. Dean, wake up, look at me." Cas said in a strong, firm tone to get the bleeding man to wake up. Fortunately, Dean was able to open his eyes and look unsteadily at the younger man above him. "Dean, I need you to stay awake until the ambulance gets here, okay?" he asked. At Dean's short, jerky nod, he continued, "I'm going to ask you some questions and no matter how stupid or simple they are, I need you to answer, you got me?" Dean gave him another nod. "Uh, okay. Tell me your name, age and occupation."

"I'm Dean Winchester, I'm thirty-three years old and I'm the owner of an auto-shop here and in Kansas." He responded huskily and weakly.

"Okay. Name your two brothers."

"Sam and Adam Winchester."

"Name your parents."

"John and Mary Winchester."

"Name your first love." He said, not really thinking much. Dean didn't answer as quickly as he did before, he paused and thought for a while and got Cas worried. "Dean, your response."

"I…" he started but stopped as he grunted due to pain. "I don't know. You, I guess? I can't say its Lisa because we drifted apart. You don't stop loving someone, right? Unless they die?" he couched and grunted in pain once more, making Cas wince. "I mean, I just met you and I feel these crazy stuff when you're near. I know I somehow felt this with her but it wasn't as strong as it is with you. And I'm not really sure if I'll be able to 'fall out of love' with you, like what happened with Lisa." He finished weakly, putting some emphasis on the words _fall out of love_.

Cas can't stop the tears from falling anymore. Breathing became slightly difficult for him before he spoke once more. "If you really love me, don't die on me, okay? You can't…" he said breathlessly, almost a whisper before he finally sobbed. "You just can't, okay? Don't leave me when I just got you." Tears were falling wildly down his face. All the air seemed to have left his lungs as his sight was blurred by his tears.

Dean slowly raised his right hand and cupped Cas' face, making the younger man lean into his touch. "I won't. Okay? So you don't have to cry." He whispered with a soft smile ghosting his lips. Cas nodded jerkily and put his other hand on top of Dean's. "I won't leave because I still have to make you fall in love with me too, right?" Cas nodded once more and kissed Dean's palm, his eyes not leaving the other man's. Dean smiled fondly at the younger man and started whispering words of love to him, so that he could keep his promise of staying awake.

The ambulance arrived shortly after the call, carefully putting Dean on a stretcher whilst keeping the pressure to prevent the bleeding. Cas begged them to ride with them to be able to stay with Dean. Since they really had no time to argue, they permitted him.

When they got to the hospital, Cas followed them up to the surgery room, only to be stopped by a nurse. He reluctantly stopped and went to the waiting room, realizing that he has to call Dean's brother and their friends.

The man who hit Dean said he'd take care of the hospital expenses and that he'll be going straight to the police to report what had happened, that he hit someone. Cas simply nodded, not really paying much attention.

About half an hour later, a very worried Sam came rushing in, followed by Gabriel, Balthazar and Danny, looking just as worried as Sam.

"How is he?" Sam asked Cas when he reached the younger man as he tried to catch his breath. Cas looked up, expression blank but it was obvious that he was crying beforehand, if his tear streaked cheeks was anything to go by.

"He's still under operation. I'm not sure what's going on." Cas responded huskily, as if he has been screaming beforehand, his voice void of emotions like his face.

"Are you okay Cas?" Gabriel finally asked as he sat down beside his brother, putting an arm around the younger man while one hand ran up and down the younger man's arm.

"No." he replied honestly with a sigh. "I was there with him and I wasn't able to help him." His tears started to fall once more as he cradled his head with his hands.

"Cas, there was nothing you could do." Danny comforted, sitting on Cas' other side as she wiped the tears that started to fall once more.

Sam sighed. He knew there was nothing he can do to make Cas believe it wasn't his fault that Dean got in an accident. Even Gabriel seemed to do that a lot; blame himself. Instead, he sat beside Gabriel while Balthazar sat beside Danny.

They were silent for quite a while until Sam's phone started ringing. When he looked at caller ID, it was their youngest brother, Adam. He excused himself from the group as he stood up and answered his phone.

"Hey, Adam."

"_Sam, I was able to obtain a plane ticket for the two AM flight. I'll be there by eight tomorrow morning. How's Dean doing?_" Adam said worriedly, not bothering to start with a proper greeting.

Sam sighed lightly before he answered. "We've got no news yet."

"_Oh. Call me as soon as you hear anything, okay?_"

"Sure. Are you packing already?"

"_Yeah. I sent an emergency notice to my professors, told them that my brother had an accident._"

"Okay. Do you need me to pick you up?"

"_Nah. Just stay with him until I get there, alright. I'll go straight to your place to leave my things. The spare key's still in the same place?_"

"Yeah, it's still there. Alright, take care man."

"_Yeah. You too._" Adam ended and they both hung up. Just as he was walking back to where he sat, a doctor walked towards their group, removing his surgical cap in the process. He was about Dean's height, blonde hair, white complexion, well built, a slightly pointed nose, red plump lips and light green eyes.

As the doctor got nearer, Gabriel stood up and greeted him. It seemed that they knew each other.

"Dr. De Castro." Gabriel said with a small smile as he shook the doctor's hand.

"Dr. Collin." He replied with a smile before he looked around the group. "Are these all with Mr. Winchester?" He asked with a warm and slightly tired voice.

"Yes. How is he? Are there any major injuries?" Gabriel responded.

"Just his head, but he's fine now. He just needs a lot of rest because he lost quite a lot of blood." He replied to the shorter man. He looked at Cas this time before he continued. "It was a good thing you knew what to do at those times." He said, relief lacing his warm voice.

"Isn't that basic knowledge to prevent the bleeding?" Cas asked.

"No, not exactly. Some people don't really know what to do with those cases. You just saved him, young man. If he lost more blood than he did, he would've been dead on arrival."

Cas smiled lightly as Sam patted his shoulder, showing his gratitude to him that he saved his brother. "Can we see him?" Cas asked.

"Of course. Follow me." The doctor responded with a soft smile. "But you have to remain silent because we can't risk denying him some time to rest."

They followed the doctor around a corner and stopped three doors after. The doctor tilted his head to one side, gesturing to the door, confirming to them that Dean was on the other side. He opened the door and led the group inside. Sam was the first one to follow him, followed by Cas, Gabriel, Danny and then Balthazar.

Dean had some bandages wrapped around his head and one of his arms. He had some visible bruises but besides that, they couldn't see past the blanket and the hospital gown that covered his body.

Both Sam and Cas were at Dean's side in an instance; Sam took the left side of the bed while Cas took the right side. Cas brushed some hair off of Dean's forehead and threaded his fingers lightly on his hair. His other hand rested on Dean's hand. He leaned down and kissed the sleeping man's forehead, letting his eyes flutter close for a moment. If this action caught the rest of the group by surprise, they didn't say anything about it.

His lips lingered for quite a while, as if he was afraid Dean wouldn't wake up for a long while or maybe not at all. He straightened up; his eyes looked pained, sad and tired before he whispered. "I'm sorry. I should've done something."

"Cas." Sam said softly and reached for Cas' hand, the hand that held his brother's, and waited for the younger man to look up at him before he continued. "No one could've done anything. It was an accident."

"I know. But…" he sighed, dropping his gaze away from Sam and back to Dean, before he continued. "It's just so hard when you're right there, and all you could do was watch him fall and bleed." He said with a frown as he absentmindedly combed Dean's hair with his fingers.

"He's gonna be okay, don't worry." Sam said with a soft smile, knowing how strong is brother really is.

"I know." He whispered softly and cupped Dean's face, his thumb rubbed soothing circles on his cheek.

Sam, Gabriel, Balthazar and Danny left Dean with Cas for a while. They went out to get something to eat. They were all permitted to stay the night because Gabriel, being a hospital staff, was going to be there with them. Danny called her parents and said that she'll be staying with the boys for the night.

Cas sat on a chair beside Dean's bed. His hand was still holding the other man's while his other hand kept on combing through Dean's hair. His chin was rested on the bed as he watched the slow rise and fall of the sleeping man's chest, finding comfort in the simple action, knowing that he'll wake up eventually.

"You know, when I was holding you in my arms back there, I was so scared that I might lose you. You were bleeding so much, and I…" he started softly, almost like the quietest whisper. He bit his lower lip when it started to tremble, as his tears began to fill his eyes. "I don't know what I'd do with you. And I guess, I guess that time I realized," he continued and released a shaky breath. He wiped his tears away but it was no use; they kept on falling. He bit his lower lip once more and took in a large amount of air to calm himself. "I realized that I have feelings for you too. That maybe, maybe I really am in love with you, Dean. So…" he shut his eyes and let the tears fall freely, taking in a shaky breath in the process. "So hurry up and wake up already, okay?" he wiped his tears with the back of his hand and stood up, leaning towards Dean's face to give him a soft, chaste kiss. When he pulled away, he murmured three little words against Dean's lips. "I love you." And kissed his lips once more before he sat back down and rested his head on the bed, aiming to fall asleep, whilst keeping his hand intertwined with Dean's.

Cas doesn't know how long he was asleep. He was awakened by a hand combing through his hair. He slowly straightened up, eyes still closed and yawned, covering his mouth as he did so. He rubbed his eyes to remove the remnants of sleep before he slowly opened his eyes, a pair of green eyes meeting his blue ones. The older man was smiling fondly at him.

"Dean." He gasped as he suddenly stood up. He noticed that their hands were still entwined and gave Dean's hand a soft squeeze, making sure he's really awake.

"Hey Cas." Dean rasped out hoarsely with a smile. Cas cupped Dean's face once more as his thumb rubbed soothing circles on his cheek while Dean leaned into the touch.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a soft whisper

"Thirsty." Was the simply reply. His hand was reluctantly let go as Cas moved to get a bottle of water and some cotton. As Cas did so, he just noticed that Gabriel, Sam, Balthazar and Danny were already with them in the room, sleeping. When he got back to Dean's side, he removed the cap and dampened the cotton with water from the bottle. He gently dabbed the wet cotton on Dean's dry lips, easing some thirst. "Thanks." Dean rasped out with a soft smile as Cas put the cap back on the bottle and set it aside while he threw the cotton on a trash can.

"Do you need anything else?" Cas asked in a soft of voice, barely a whisper, when he sat back down on his seat.

"Nah, I'm good." Dean replied in the same hushed tone with a soft fond smile. Cas returned the smile and held Dean's hand once more with his right hand while his left hand rested on the older man's forehead, brushing some stray hair in the process. They stared at each other for a while, no one wanting to break the comfortable silence. The only things that produced any form of sound were the machines attached to Dean and Gabriel and Sam's occasional snores. "I heard you, just so you know." He finally said, keeping their conversation hushed. At Cas' questioning look, he continued. "I heard your voice, telling me that you love me." He said, eyes and voice full of hope that Cas couldn't help but smile fondly at the man lying on the bed.

"Yeah, I do." He replied with a smile.

"Good." Dean smiled and squeezed Cas' hand gently, receiving a squeeze in return. "I do need something." He continued, trying to make his voice sound a little suggestive.

"What do you need?" Cas asked with a tilt of his head, truly curious as to what the other man needed. Dean smiled cheekily, making Cas' lips quirk into a small smile. "What is it?" he asked, fully smiling now.

Dean lifted his free hand, closed his fingers except for his index, and tapped his mouth lightly, cheeky smile still present. Cas couldn't help the light huff of laughter that escaped him as he looked away for a while, chuckling now as he shook his head. He looked back at Dean—smile still present—and saw the other man with a frown and an adorable pout on his lips.

Still smiling, Cas licked his lips, Dean's eyes followed the movement of his tongue. Cas cupped Dean's face before he leaned to give the older man a soft, sweet chaste kiss, both of them fluttered their eyes closed. Cas pulled away a little, making Dean follow after his mouth, and sighed lightly in content and he opened his eyes, warm comforting green eyes meeting his blue ones. He leaned down once more to give Dean another chaste kiss. But Dean had other plans and placed a hand at back of Cas' neck, keeping his lips locked to his. He licked Cas' bottom lip, asking for entrance that was gladly granted. Tongues dancing with each other and teeth nibbling each other's lips before Cas pulled away because he realized he had to call a nurse or the doctor because Dean's finally awake. He might need a check up before anything else. Dean once again followed his mouth and pouted when Cas chuckled.

"We need to call a nurse to check up on you." Cas said in a hushed tone so that the other four won't be disturbed from their slumber, and smiled as he stood up, letting Dean's hand go in the process.

"Can't you be the one to check me? I'm willing to let your hands roam and check if anything's wrong." Dean asked, waggling his eye brows with a charming Winchester smirk. Cas simply laughed silently and shook his head, amused that Dean still had the energy to suggest sexual stuff. He leaned down once more and gave Dean one last kiss before he went out to find a nurse—or a doctor. As he went out, the doctor that has just did the operation, Dr. De Castro as he remembered vaguely, was on his way to Dean's room.

"Dr. De Castro." he said as they met halfway. At the doctor's nod, he continued. "Um, Dean's awake."

"Alright. I was just on my way to him. How is he doing?" the doctor replied.

"I believe he's fine." Cas replied with a soft smile. The doctor stared at him for a moment, studying him, it seemed. Cas tilted his head to one side, eyes narrowing slightly, showing his confusion as to why the doctor was staring at him.

"Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I presume you and the patient are together?" he asked, gesturing with one hand while the other—which was holding a clipboard and a vial of medicine, probably an anesthetic—remained at his side.

"Uh…" Cas replied dumbly. The doctor started to walk pass him and he followed

"I'm sorry to intervene. It's just, with regards to your appearance, I assumed the two of you have been pretty _busy_ before you went out to inform someone about the patient's consciousness." The doctor continued as they walked to the Dean's room. Cas thought back for a while and suddenly flushed a dark red color, biting his bottom lip in the process. He realized that maybe his lips were slightly swollen from Dean's eager kisses and that the doctor noticed it.

"Almost. Kind of. I guess?" he said hesitantly, not really sure where he and Dean stand at the moment.

The doctor stopped in his tracks and turned to face Cas; Cas stopped as well and looked at the doctor with curiosity. "Why are you not certain?"

"We're kind of new to this kind of thing. And it was just after the accident that I realized it." Cas replied with a small shrug while the doctor nodded in understanding and turned once more, proceeding with their walk to Dean's room.

Dean welcomed them with a smile, which the doctor gladly returned. Cas bit his lower lip when he entered after the doctor.

"How are you Mr. Winchester?" the doctor asked as he read something from the clipboard he was holding; probably medical records.

"I'm fine. I was a little thirsty a while ago." He rasped out and made the doctor's head snap up to look at him, concern and worry lining his features.

"Did you drink anything?" he asked.

"Uh, no. Cas dampened a cotton with water and wet my lips. Why?"

"Because you can't drink for a while, at least until the anesthetics that were used from the surgery wear off. There was an incident here once that our patient died because his wife gave him a cold drink." He explained, making Dean's eyes widen with terror.

"Good thing you knew what to do Cas." Dean said with a slight hint of terror but with a huge amount of relief.

"My brother's a surgeon, Dean." He said with a smirk, amusement obvious in his eyes.

"And an amazing one at that." The doctor added proudly that Cas couldn't help but smile with pride as well. Their conversation ended at that.

The doctor checked Dean's injuries, asked him if he feels any severe pain, if he was dizzy and so on and so forth. He gave Dean a lighter anesthetic, so that he'll be able to start to drink something later. He checked the IV Fluids and said that he'd replace it before his shift was over and left. Weird enough, none of the sleeping people around them woke up.

Cas sat back down on his seat beside Dean and held the older man's hand once more. Dean was starting to get sleepy, the anesthetics finally doing its job. Cas simply ran his fingers through Dean's hair, massaging his scalp lightly and lulling him more to sleep.

"Lie here with me." Dean whispered as he tried to force his eyes to remain open. Cas smiled at him and kissed his soft lips chastely before he moved to lie beside Dean; moving carefully so that he wouldn't disturb any of the wirings around. Dean moved to give him some space.

"Rest your head on my chest." Cas murmured when he was settled beside Dean and moved up a little so that the older man wouldn't have a hard time moving to rest his head on his chest. Cas moved one arm around Dean, wrapping it around the older man and pulled him closer. Dean wrapped his arms around the younger man and snuggled closer to him, humming in approval as he settled against Cas. The younger man kissed the top of Dean's head, resting it there for a while as he inhaled Dean's scent. He was memorizing the older man's scent, knowing that he has to get used to his smell the moment he said he felt the same, even if Dean was unconscious at the moment. Telling Dean he felt the same meant he was willing to try a relationship with him and hopefully a _life_.

"I love you." Cas whispered all of a sudden against Dean's head. The older man simply hummed and moved closer before he responded with a murmured _I love you too_ and fell asleep. Cas ran his hand up and down Dean's spine, soothing the older man even further until he fell asleep as well.

It was around eight thirty when Dean slowly woke up, making Cas stir a little with his sudden movements. When he opened his eyes, he was still wrapped within Cas' comforting embrace and warmth. He smiled to himself and tried to get some more sleep until he noticed Adam sitting on the chair Cas was sitting on the previous night, leaning back so that he was seated comfortably; concern lining his blue eyes. The youngest Winchester smiled softly at his brother when he realized he's been noticed. Dean nearly jerked back with surprised but Cas' tight embraced prevented him from doing so; which was probably a good thing.

"Adam." He rasped out, throat dry and rough.

"Hey Dean. How are you?" Adam asked his brother in a hushed tone, so that they wouldn't disturb the sleeping man beside his brother, as he leaned towards the bed. He didn't seem to care that his brother was cuddling another man.

"I'm good kid. Why are you here? How about school?" Dean asked, still comfortably lying on Cas.

"Don't worry about it. Who's he?" the younger man finally asked the question he wanted to ask the moment he saw him on his brother's hospital bed, glancing at the still sleeping man's face before he directed his amused gaze back to his older brother, seemingly knowing who the sleeping man was and who he was in his brother's life.

"Uh, this is Cas. He's…" Dean paused for a moment, bit his lower lip and tried to think where he and Cas stand at the moment, hoping the younger man would wake up and confirm to him that they are what he wanted them to be. His train of thought was broken by Cas' sudden yawn and light stretch.

"I'm his boyfriend." Cas said effortlessly and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He looked down and smiled gently at Dean before he kissed the older man's forehead. He turned his head to look at Adam and smiled at the younger man, slight mischief dancing in his blue eyes. "After courting me for quite a while, I finally gave in and said I have feelings for him too." He said smugly with a smirk, surprising Dean with his words and making his jaw drop; Adam simply raised his eyebrows, amusement dancing in his own eyes. Never has Dean ever thought of Cas saying something so smugly like that.

After his initial shock, Dean closed his mouth and slapped Cas' abdomen painfully, making the younger man jerk lightly with a grunt. Adam chuckled on his seat while Cas rubbed his slightly sore abdomen, scowling at Dean. Dean was glaring playfully at Cas before he settled his head back down on Cas' chest, desperately trying to hide his blush. But Cas saw his faint blush anyways and held his chin gently to tilt his head up, giving him a soft passionate kiss. Dean's hand rose to cup Cas' jaw and pull him closer, deepening their kiss. They only broke apart because Adam cleared his throat uncomfortably.

The days went by quickly after that. Cas visiting everyday after class, Danny and Balthazar coming every now and then, Gabriel checking up on him whenever he's on duty, Adam staying over everyday from eight up to five PM (the kid still needed to study) and Sam whenever he can.

After a week and a half, Dean was finally released from the hospital. Cas was the one to pick him up from the hospital and bring him back to his apartment. Cas carried Dean's duffle bag inside the older man's apartment and ushered Dean inside. He put the bag down beside the sofa. Dean simply stood there in the middle, looking around his apartment. Cas walked behind him and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, resting his chin on the older man's shoulder.

"You okay?" he whispered. Dean turned around in his embrace and held his face with both hands. He leaned down and gave Cas a soft, chaste kiss.

"Yeah." He murmured against Cas' lips and continued. "I just… I never thought I'll actually have you here with me like _this_. That you'll actually return my feelings and that we'd immediately become this comfortable with each other, as if we've been together for years." He finished with a smile.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Cas asked with his own soft smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

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><p><em><strong>AN: Haloo guys! Only one more chapter and By Chance is finally ending. :( Anyways, this would be the longest chapter in this story so far. I'm still not sure how long the final chapter would be. Anyways, if ever you're wondering why the title of this chapter is 'Chances' (and that is a big IF), it is entitled as such because once more, Dean had another chance at life, giving Cas another chance at love. Also, the thing about not drinking after surgery, our professor told us that and it is true that there was one case that a patient died because a relative gave him a cold drink after surgery when he said he was thirsty. RIP to whoever he was.<strong>_

_**Anyways, please REVIEW guys! *puppy eyes.* I love ya'll! Wait for the next and final chapter of By Chance. :)**_


	18. By Chance

**_AN: Okay guys, here's the final chapter of By Chance. And the only reason I finished this early is because I've written the second half of this waaaaayyyyy back. So, yeah. It wasn't as long as I thought. I simply highlighted the important stuff-ish. I hope you guys won't be disappointed with this ending, this final chapter. Also, I ended it with 18 chapters because 18 is my favorite number. :D I just wanted to say that._**

**_Anyways... ENJOY! Dean and Jensen will inform you about other stuff at the end. :)_  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>By Chance<strong>

_**By chance...**_

===3==

Six months after the accident, Gabriel and Sam decided to move in together leaving Cas and Balthazar with no choice but to move in with their respective lovers—Dean for Cas and Danny for Balthazar—because they technically can't pay the rent on their own. And, a year after that, Balthazar finally got down on one knee and asked for Danny's hand in marriage, making her Mrs. Daniel Isabelle Raven. To their surprise, Gabriel also asked Sam for marriage two weeks after Danny and Balthazar got engaged. The couples were planning on a double wedding but decided against it; they can't both have Cas as their best man.

So, after four months, Balthazar and Danny got married first, followed by Gabriel and Sam two months later. Three months after Sam and Gabriel's wedding, Adam finally introduced his girlfriend for six months—Anna—to his brothers. They gave her their approval and welcomed her to their family. A month and a half later, Adam and Anna finally found a place to move in to, which just so happens to be a few blocks away from Cas and Dean's place.

Three and a half months later, both Balthazar and Danny finally decided that they were ready for a baby, and a month after that, Danny was finally pregnant. Three months later, they were able to find out that they were having twins, a baby boy and a baby girl, which they decided to name Michael (as suggested by Danny because she knew how important the man is to her husband and to Cas) and Lucinda (which was suggested by Balthazar which he based on Lucifer's name).

Now, eight months later, Cas and Dean were sat in the Impala, driving to the bar they first met. They were planning on meeting Sam, Gabriel, Balthazar and Danny (the couple left their twins with Danny's for the weekend because the grandparents 'hardly' saw their grandchildren).

As they were they driving, the two men were listening to AC/DC's Thunderstruck. They were both singing along with big smiles on their faces, singing _way_ out of tune on purpose. Their ride to the bar was filled with laughter and the two men singing—shouting, in their case—their hearts out. Both of them can hardly remove the smiles on their faces.

As Dean shut the engine down, before Cas could get out of the car, he put a hand on the younger man's shoulder to get his attention. Cas gave him a questioning look; head tilted slightly to one side, eyes slightly narrowed and a light frown. Dean simply smiled and leaned in to give him a soft, chaste kiss; letting their eyes flutter close. It lasted for a while until Dean pulled away, making Cas chase after his mouth.

When Cas opened his eyes, Dean was staring at him with a fond look that he usually sees in the morning, before bed or after they had sex.

"What was that about?" Cas whispered, afraid to break the silence around them.

"Nothing." Dean started in the same hushed voice as he raised his eyes to look at Cas' hair, his hand cupping the other man's cheek, thumb rubbing soothing circles before his gaze went back to look at Cas' warm blue eyes and continue speaking. "I just want to remind you how much I love you." He finished with a smile and another chaste kiss.

"I thought you hate chick flicks?" Cas teased, voice still a whisper, while his hand took hold of Dean's wrist, the one that was cupping his face gently, and moved his thumb back and forth on his skin in a fond gesture.

Dean wrinkled his nose, as if only now realizing that he was being a _girl_ at the moment. "Yeah. But with you I can't help it." He whispered back and made the younger man chuckle.

"Okay. Enough with your girl time. They're waiting for us." Cas said in a normal voice and kissed Dean one last time before he got out of the car. Dean got out as well while Cas waited for him. When he reached the younger man, he took his hand and intertwined it with his own, making the younger man smile. He kissed Cas' forehead before they started their short walk to get inside the bar.

When they got inside, Sam, Gabriel, Balthazar and Danny were sitting on a table near the stage. They were laughing at some joke Gabriel must've said.

The bar has changed a little since they first met there almost five years ago. It now possesses a stage in which they let bands perform. It got slightly bigger and it's more popular than it was back then.

"Hey guys!" Dean greeted with a smile and a wave of his hand whilst still holding Cas' hand. Cas simply smiled at them as they sat with their friends; Dean beside Sam and Cas beside Danny.

The two men ordered their food and drinks and caught up with the conversation the group was having. After a while, their food came and they started eating as well, still keeping the conversation alive.

Half an hour has passed and a man with dark hair went up the stage.

"Okay guys, how are you all doing?" he asked cheerfully with a bright smile. He was holding a paper on one hand while the other held the microphone on the mic stand. "Again, for those who just came in, I'm Mark and I'm your host for tonight. Okay, sooooo… today we have a special performance from, uh," he started and paused, a light frown forming on his forehead as he read whatever it was that was written on the paper he was holding. Everyone's attention was now on him. "Mr. Dean Winchester! Come one guys, let me hear you cheer!" He said loudly, clapping his hand in the process to encourage everyone else to do the same.

Their own little group cheered the loudest—namely Gabriel—while Cas simply looked at Dean with confusion in his eyes. Dean simply winked at him and gave him a light peck on the mouth before he stood up to take the stage. He shook the host's hand and whispered something to him before the other man left the stage with a nod.

Dean cleared his throat first as Gabriel and Balthazar suddenly stood up and went up to the stage with him; Gabriel took the guitar that the host offered him while Balthazar took the offered drumsticks as he took his own place on the drums. Cas was a little surprised but Sam and Danny were simply smiling.

"So, uh…" Dean stuttered and cleared his throat once more. "Damn I'm nervous." He muttered, but the crowd still heard him and made them laugh, making him smile in turn. "Okay. Uh, so this song I'm gonna sing, is for the _love of my life,_ Cas. This is for you." He said with a smile. "I'm not usually this cheesy or sappy but I went all the way anyway." He continued shyly, making some people chuckle—including Cas. "Okay. This is our own version of this song so bear with us. We've been practicing for a while now." He then turned to look at the two other men behind him. "Can we do this, guys?" he asked incredulously, joking to calm himself. The two other men simply raised an eyebrow at him. He chuckled lightly and turned back at the audience. "Okay I'm good. This is for you Cas."

Balthazar clapped the drumsticks together three times, giving Gabriel the rhythm for the song. Gabriel started plucking the guitar, the sound unfamiliar at first until they realized it was originally played with a piano. The crowd gave them another round of applause, letting them know that they were liking it so far. Then, Dean started singing.

**You're my piece of mind, in this crazy world  
>You're everything I've tried to find<br>Your love is a pearl  
>You're my Mona Lisa<br>You're my rainbow skies  
>And my only prayer is that you realize<br>You'll always be beautiful in my eyes**

Balthazar then started playing the drums softly, in time with Gabriel's playing.

**The world will turn****  
><strong>**And the seasons will change****  
><strong>**And all the lessons we will learn****  
><strong>**Will be beautiful and strange****  
><strong>**We'll have our fell of tears****  
><strong>**Our share of sight****  
><strong>**My only prayer is that you realize****  
><strong>**You'll always be beautiful in my eyes**

**You will always be beautiful in my eyes****  
><strong>**And the passing years will show****  
><strong>**That you will always grow****  
><strong>**Ever more beautiful in my eyes**

**And there are lines upon my face****  
><strong>**From a life time of smiles****  
><strong>**When the time comes to embrace****  
><strong>**For one long last wine****  
><strong>**We can laugh about how time really flies****  
><strong>**We won't say goodbye****  
><strong>**'Cause true love never dies****  
><strong>**You'll always be beautiful in my eyes**

**You will always be beautiful in my eyes****  
><strong>**And The passing years will show****  
><strong>**That you will always grow****  
><strong>**Ever more beautiful in my eyes**

**The passing years will show****  
><strong>**That you will always grow****  
><strong>**Ever more beautiful in my eyes**

When the song ended, the crowd applauded loudly, some even gave them a standing ovation—including Cas, Sam and Danny. The three men bowed and smiled at them once more. Balthazar and Gabriel finally went down the stage and went back to their table while Dean stayed up on stage. Cas looked at him curiously, wondering if there's anything else Dean was going to do.

"Thanks guys." Dean said to the crowd and to the two other men who performed with him. Balthazar and Gabriel simply nodded at him. "Well, I've got something to say before anything else." He said. He looked at Sam and Danny then nodded at them, as if giving them a signal for something. On cue, they both stood up and held Cas' arms so they could hoist him up to a standing position. He looked between Danny and Sam in question. They both dragged Cas up on stage as the host suddenly reappeared with a tall chair with him, putting it at the center of the stage with Dean. "Thanks." Dean nodded his thanks to the three people who were with them with a smile.

"Dean, what's going on?" Cas hissed as Dean maneuvered him to sit on the chair.

"Just relax and… look pretty?" Dean said with a shrug. Cas scowled at him but stayed on where he was.

Dean moved back a little and inhaled deeply, calming himself before he released said breath slowly through his mouth. "Okay." He whispered to himself before he took the microphone once more and faced Cas. "Castiel Angelo Collin, five years ago, we met in this very same bar." He started and pointed his index finger downwards, emphasizing his point. "Five years ago, in this exact same place, I asked you to go out for lunch with me. Five years ago, I never thought I would meet a guy like you and make me bat for the other team." He joked with a smile and a light huff. "Five years ago, I thought I was going to simply wait for you until you settle down and thought that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, just watching you from a distance. Five years ago, I thought I'd lose my mind because I always make the wrong move with you." He continued, his face more serious this time. "And five years ago, I fell in love with you and I am still, very much in love with you." Cas got off the chair he was sitting on, hoping he wasn't wrong about where Dean's sudden speech was going. "So, all chick flick moments aside, I brought you back here after five years to ask you one important question." Dean continued, fishing a small black box from his pocket before he got down on one knee and opened it, showing a simple but beautiful silver ring inside, resting it on his raised knee. "Will you marry me and spend the rest of your life with me as your husband?" he finally asked the big question.

Cas stared at him in shock and glee, making him a little nervous. That is, until the younger man tackled him to embrace him, making him lose his balance. Luckily, he was fast enough to catch the box so that the ring won't fall. Cas muttered a breathless _yes_ against his neck, making him think he imagined it.

"Huh?" Dean asked dumbly, making Cas chuckle lightly and embrace him tighter.

"Yes, I'll marry you, you idiot!" he said, louder this time. Dean smiled widely and embraced him tight as well. He then placed the microphone in front of him, suddenly remembering that he has it and said, "He said yes!" happily, making the crowd cheer for him once more.

When they finally pulled away from each other—still sitting on the floor—Dean finally took the ring out of the box to put it Cas' left ring finger. Cas gave him a short hard kiss and hugged him once more.

_**Four months later…**_

As voted by their friends, Cas will be the one to walk down the aisle while Dean waited for him. The event was a garden wedding, planned not by the couple but their overly excited friends, namely Gabriel and Danny.

Dean wore a white dress shirt inside a charcoal colored coat; a white rose rested on its pocket on his left chest. He wore a dark green tie to bring out the color of his eyes. Simple black dress pants and black leather shoes completed the outfit.

Cas on the other hand wore a white dress shirt inside a white coat; a white rose just like Dean's rested on its pocket. His pants and shoes were white as well. To complete his outfit was a striped pale blue tie.

The wedding march started. The flower girl—a child of one of Cas' friends—entered spreading flower petals as she walked. The little girl was followed by a slightly embarrassed Adam who was the appointed ring bearer because he trusted his baby brother most to carry the rings. The two best man—Balthazar and Sam—were already in position. Adam was followed by Gabriel who walked his little brother down the aisle, taking the role of their father. Dean was waiting for Cas with a soft smile which was gladly returned shyly. When they both reached Dean, Gabriel let go of his baby brother.

"You better take care of my baby brother, Winchester." Gabriel whispered when he and Dean shook hands.

"I will." He whispered back with a smile as he took Cas' hand and guided him to sit on one of the chairs in front of the pastor. When the two men were seated, the pastor introduced the couple before he asked them to stand for the opening prayer. After the opening prayer, they were all asked to take their seats once more before he began the lecture about married life, their responsibilities and that the bind may only be broken by God alone.

When the lecture was done, Dean and Cas were asked to stand up and face each other to say their personal vows as they held each other's hands with a soft smile on both of their faces.

"Castiel, before I met you, I'm not sure I really knew what love meant. I've always felt empty inside, as if there's something missing. You saved me from my own hell, in which I thought I could never learn to love and that meant I was never worthy of love. You taught me the value of waiting and you accepted me for who I am; even the side of me that hides from everyone else.

"Today, on our special day, I promise to take care of you. I promise to love you with all of me and love you more with each passing day. I promise not to murder anyone who comes near you because I'm jealous. I promise that I would never, ever, break the trust you have in me. I promise that I'll always be here for you; needed or not. And most of all, I promise, that the only way for me to break these promises is the moment God takes my life away. I love you Cas, all of you." Dean finished and squeezed Cas' hands lightly.

"Dean, before I met you, I thought I'd never find love again. I thought my world will always be Michael and that it will never have a sun to revolve to anymore. Before I met you, I've been like a Maroon 5 song, giddy on the outside but lonely once you read the words. You made me stronger and brought back the real me, the real Cas, that was lost for a long while. You gave me courage to take the risk of falling in love with you. You saved me from all my self-pitying acts and from the thought that maybe I was meant to be all alone because most of the people I loved has left me.

"Today, on the best day of our lives, I give you my vow to love you and cherish you with every passing day. I give you my word that I will always be here beside you when you need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help you or a word to guide you. I will do my best to be the man you need. I will always have faith in you, no matter how hard things may be. When hardships come, I will never, ever turn my back on you. I will support you with your decisions but still make sure you're doing what is right. I will hold you, even if you don't need me too. And lastly, the only time for these vows to be broken is when my breath has come to stop. I love you Dean, with everything that I am." Cas finished and smiled softly at Dean.

The pastor signaled for Sam to give Cas' ring to Dean. "Do you, Dean Lucas Winchester, take Castiel Angelo Collin as your lawfully wedded husband?" the pastor said as Dean held the ring in his hand.

"I do." Dean replied with a fond smile—eyes never leaving Cas' smiling eyes—as he put the ring on the Cas' finger. The pastor then signaled for Balthazar to give Dean's ring to Cas.

"And do you, Castiel Angelo Collin, take Dean Lucas Winchester as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Cas said with a smile as he put the ring on Dean's finger.

"You may now seal your lips together as a symbol of you sealing your vows to God."

They inched closer to kiss when thunder came. They both paused before sealing their lips and looked up simultaneously. Just then, rain started to pour, making the guests and the pastor—simply everybody—scramble out of the rain while the two men stayed there, staring at the sky.

Cas has a smile on his face while Dean simply furrowed his brows.

"Huh." Dean started, getting Cas' attention.

"What?"

"Do you think Michael hates me?" he asked, moving his attention to Cas.

"Why would you think that?" he replied with a light chuckle.

"I mean, c'mon. Rain on our wedding day? Don't you think it kinda ruins certain things? I think he hates me for stealing the _love of his life_."

Cas simply wrinkled his nose while he grinned. He leaned a little closer to Dean and wrapped his arms around his neck; Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waist. "I don't think so." He whispered. "He loves the rain and thinks it's a _blessing_ in disguise." He finished with a smug smile.

"So we have his blessing then?" he asked—one brow raised in challenge.

"Yep. Pretty much."

"Hmm. Okay then. Now, when are we going to seal our lips together as a symbol of sealing our vows to God?" he whispered huskily.

"Right," he started, leaning closer to Dean. "Now." He whispered and finally met Dean's lips. It started softly. Then, Dean pushed a little to deepen the kiss, forcing Cas' mouth to open with the use of his tongue. Cas smirked and gave Dean the permission.

When things got a little more heated than it should be and they heard the crowd cheer, Cas pulled away reluctantly with a smirk on his face. "Easy tiger. We have a honeymoon you can use all that energy on."

"Hmm. Maybe I can wait a little longer." Dean replied and took Cas' lips back on his once more to kiss him softly.

Whether it was simply by chance that they met and got together or it was fate that did the trick, neither Dean nor Cas really cared. All that mattered to them is that they're together after going out for almost five years. All that mattered to them is that they'll age together and live happily—for they are together.

_Babe, it's been five years since that special day_

_Since I asked you on our first date_

_Guess it's safe to say..._

_You and I are better than Sonny and Cher, honey and bears_

_And you and I are better than Aladdin and Jasmine; we've made it happen..._

_...Let me say, you look so beautiful on our wedding day..._

* * *

><p><strong>Final AN...<strong>

**So, um, that's it. Review guys? Hihi. Oh, and by the way, the michaelXcastiel pairing would now be MiCas (um, pronounced as _my cas._). Yeah, say what you want. I thought of that name. XP**

**So... whatcha think?**

**DEAN: It was okay. I'm not in to chick flicky things, so. Yeah. What do you think other me? *crosses arms across chest. looks at Jensen expectantly.***

**JENSEN: *frowns.* Do you really have to call me as the other you? Anyways, it was good, the build up of the story wherein you showed how their relationship develops over time. Also, I liked the rain stuff during their wedding day. You also stuck to the story you saw in the song that inspired you and all, so, you did well for your first non-one shot story. *smiles at me.***

**ME: *smiles shyly at Jensen.* Thanks. That means a lot. *blushes profusely. fidgets. plays with hem of shirt and bites lower lip.***

**JENSEN: *still smiling at me.* Well, thank your readers as well, especially those who gave a review to your story, those who added it in their favorites and those that had this on story alert and supported you 'til the end of this story.**

**ME: *looks at Jensen. Castiel's confused head tilt.* Oh yeah. *looks at you guys and smiles shyly.* Thanks so much for your reviews guys! Thank you for adding this to your favorites and for being with me and this story until the end. *bows head.***

**JENSEN: Alright then. *claps hands once.* Let's promote Dean.**

**DEAN: *startled because he was looking at his phone and was staring at Cas' photos with a goofy smile.* Uh, right. *clears throat.* This kid here, *tilts head towards me. I wave at you with a smile.* will be having another story. Maybe two or three more. One will be another AU entitled A Messed Up Life, in which Cas and I are students. And...**

**JENSEN: Another one which is, or, was, her own version of Supernatural Season 7 because at the time, she hasn't seen pass episode 10 and all and didn't know how the Leviathans can be defeated. It will have the title, The Warrior. And lastly...**

**DEAN: Another _almost_ AU because, even though angels and hunters exist here, it will be told in a different light. The title of that story would be, The Guardians of Men.**

**ME: *smiles at Dean and Jensen.*Thanks guys! *smiles back at you.* Anyways, these stories will not be posted at the same time, so don't worry. Maybe I'll let a few chapters pass first before I post the other two and stuff like that. Anyways! Again, thank you so much guys! Without your motivation, I wouldn't be able to finish this. Also, I'm going to shut up now because this AN has been too long already. Byeiee. *waves hand at you.***

**Don't forget to review guys. **

**Ooh. Wait. P.S.**

**Do you guys want a 'honeymoon special' one shot for this? I mean, you know. *waggles eyebrows suggestively.***


	19. Epilogue

**_AN: Yes, I know this story has been long over but, as I read this story again, I suddenly remembered something I wanted them to talk about which I terribly failed to do so. I am so, so sorry about this guys. Anyways, I hope you enjoy my final blow for this story. ;)_**

**_Note: I did this within thirty minutes. Oh yeah!_ \m/**

**_Also, please read the ending AN of mine. :) Thanks guys!_  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

**===3==**

It has been three years after Dean and Cas' wedding day. Eight months after they got back to New York from their honeymoon—which they spent in Paris—they decided to adopt a baby boy (who was believed by the orphanage to be almost a year and a half or a little more so when they adopted him) and named him Elijah—nicknamed Eli. The little boy was named as such because Elijah was known as the Angel of Innocence and was also believed to have created the tree of life, and a guardian of all new born children. They saw the pure innocence in the little boy's eyes and they wanted him to be protected by the angel he was named after.

The little boy, amazingly, had almost the same dirty blonde hair as Dean and eyes as blue as Cas' and almost the same sharp nose. They really enjoyed the fact that the child they chose to call as their own looked like a split image of the two men.

Then, the taking care part of the baby was recognized. It was very hard at first because both men didn't know much about taking care of a baby. If it wasn't for Danny and Balthazar, they really wouldn't know what to do. Eli was a sweet and quiet boy, but when he starts to cry, almost nothing can stop him. After a few months of struggling with their little boy, they managed to find their own pattern and learned the techniques to either keep little Eli satisfied or how to stop him crying.

It was almost Eli's fourth birthday when Cas remembered his and Dean's first date. He smiled as he recalled how weird but amazing it was at the time. As he reminisced that date, he suddenly remembered the meteor shower and the wish Dean made. He doesn't really know why, but he never asked Dean again what his wish was.

Now, as he played with little Eli—because it was a Saturday and he has no classes—he decided he'd ask his husband later that night.

The father and son were solving a hundred piece puzzle—Cas letting Eli do most of the work—while some rock music played in the background (since both of his parents loved classic rock). An hour has passed and they finally finished the puzzle.

"Daddy, can we watch TV before dinner?" the little boy asked with a cheeky smile he probably got from his other father. Cas chuckled softly, seeing Dean's smile in their son, and ruffled the little boy's hair affectionately.

"Okay baby. But only for a little while, alright? Dad's gonna be home from work in two hours or a little more so. I want you cleaned up by then, okay?" he replied as he stood up and gave their little boy a soft kiss on the forehead.

"Thanks Daddy!" Eli said cheerily as he nodded enthusiastically with a huge smile on his face, running towards the TV to turn it on and grab the remote while Cas cleaned up the very few toys they played.

After Eli has settled on the couch and watched some TV, Cas started on dinner. It was almost five and Dean will be home by seven from the shop. He took out some chicken and potatoes to be fried. He decided on making spaghetti as well and took out the pasta and the ingredients for the sauce. He doesn't really cook back then but decided to learn because he knew there will always be times that Dean wouldn't be around and their little boy needed home cooked meals.

After almost an hour, Cas called Eli and told him to turn the TV off and start cleaning himself. The little boy complied with no arguments and ran to the kitchen to watch his father after cleaning himself. The little boy asked some questions every now and again which Cas gladly answered, even if some were asked already. He simply loved listening to the curious little boy.

When Cas glanced at the clock once more, it was six thirty already. He asked Eli's help with preparing the table while he cleaned the small mess that was made in the kitchen. He cleaned himself as well and he and their son went back to the living room to wait for Dean.

At almost seven o'clock Dean arrived home. "Dad!" Eli screamed as he jumped down from the couch and ran to him. Dean welcomed their son with a wide smile and crouched down and opened his arms to take their little boy in his arms. As Eli was wrapped around his embrace he stood up, carrying their son and twirled around, making the little boy squeal loudly. Cas watched his husband and their little boy with a soft, fond smile while his arms were crossed across his chest.

Dean was laughing merrily as their little boy squealed. When he finally stopped, the little boy's squeals turned into soft giggles. Dean adjusted his hold on their son, putting the little boy by his hip as he approached his husband with a smile. Cas met him halfway with a smile of his own. Dean leaned down to give his husband a soft kiss and murmured, "Missed me?" teasingly. Cas shoved him away playfully as he bit his lower lip and took their little boy from Dean.

"Clean up so we can eat dinner. Maybe then I'll tell if I did miss you." The younger man replied suggestively with a wink as he took Eli to the dining room with him.

Dean cleaned up quickly and dinner passed in a blur. Soon, they were washing dishes, cleaning themselves and were tucking Eli in bed. When they got in their own room, Dean pushed Cas to the wall, trapping him in the process and gave him a passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, they were both panting and Cas' hands have tangled themselves on Dean's hair while the latter has one hand wrapped around his waist and the other at the back of his neck. Dean leaned in again and gently nibbled on Cas' lower lip, making the younger man moan and shiver lightly. When he let go, he whispered hoarsely, "So, did you miss me?" he asked teasingly.

Cas smiled softly as he ran his hands up and down his husband's broad chest, studying his face in the process before he replied, "Maybe."

Dean snorted a soft laugh at Cas' response and kissed the younger man one more time and pulled him away from the wall. Cas yawned unexpectedly and Dean found that adorable. "Come on. Let's get to sleep." He said softly to the younger man.

Dean removed his shirt and jeans, leaving only his boxers. Cas did the same but replaced his shirt with an undershirt. They both got under the covers. When they were both settled, Cas moved closer to Dean and rested his head on the older man's chest and wrapped his arms around Dean's middle, while Dean wrapped an arm around him, his hand moving along Cas' spine to sooth the younger man. Cas sighed in contentment and suddenly remembered the question he wanted to ask earlier.

"Hey, Dean?" he said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember our real first date? When you took me out for dinner?" he asked as he doodled invisible patterns on Dean's bare chest.

"The French restaurant?" he asked and received a nod in confirmation. "Yeah, why?" he asked as he looked down at his husband, wondering where all of this was coming from.

"Do you remember the meteor shower? Then you told me to make a wish?"

"Of course."

"Well, I asked you back then what you wished for, but never told me what it was. You said you'd tell me when the right time comes." He said hesitantly then moved his head from Dean's chest to be able to look at the older man. "Is now the right time?" he asked with a light crease on his forehead. Dean simply smiled, amazed that Cas still remembered that conversation after all these years.

"Yeah." He said with a smile. Cas waited for him to continue as he stared at the older man. Dean leaned down and gave his husband a soft, chaste kiss before he continued, "I wished for a happy life for me and Sam. And someday, a _life with you_." He responded with a smile and kissed Cas once more. Both of them were smiling in the kiss and were still smiling when they broke apart. Cas settled his head back on his husband's chest with a soft sigh and they both fell asleep with satisfied smiles on their faces.

It was just proven that wishes and dreams, they do come true.

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><p><strong>To those who have read my Rated M fics and the Honeymoon Special for this fic (which was obviously in Rated M), please go to my profile. I have some announcement-ish and stuff because I'm making the decision of my life. Okay, that's exaggerating. But, yeah, look at my profile, the <em>IMPORTANT!<em> thingy. Thanks! :D**

**Love ya'll! :D *blows a kiss to you***


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